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How to really find friends by interests?
(sh.itjust.works)
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this post was submitted on 13 May 2026
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No Stupid Questions
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If you're looking to network within software development communities, a user group is a good starting point. For example, I am a .NET software engineer, and the Portland Area .NET User Group was instrumental in building out my PacNW professional network. Plus their meetups are generally a fun time.
Look for API meetups in your area, it doesn't matter what kind of APIs. Even if you have no interest in API development, API meetups are usually run by Developer Relations (DevRel) engineers. It is the job of DevRels to help software engineers become better and to connect people to resources. Source: used to be a DevRel.
And even if you live in a small or low-density region, there is probably some kind of computer users, web development, and IT group. Again, even if you're not exactly interested in those aspects, these people tend to know senior or principal software engineers who can either connect you to resources or directly take you on for mentoring.
All that said, I frequently say "we are not meant to engineer alone," however self-motivation is a prerequisite to programming and software engineering. Go to the library and immerse yourself in some books on software development; off the top of my head: "Modern C++ Programming with Test-Driven Development," Refactoring, Design Patterns, "The Pragmatic Programmer," "Code Complete," "The Missing Readme," "Object Oriented Analysis and Design with Applications." A lot of these are going to go over your head at first, but just take a look at them.
Some people will take issue that I suggest learning C++ first, but I've been at this a while (34 years). I liken it to learning to drive a manual transmission car with no synchromesh. The difference between a software engineer who understands memory pointers and one who learned only managed languages is always immediately apparent.
Good luck out there.