I saw this door next to the kitchen this morning. Maybe it was always there but I never really noticed it before and I've been more vigilant lately on account of all the Hamas. I look on the other side of it and there's actually a STAIRWAY going DOWN. Like beneath the earth.

So I'm immediately suspicious. I get my gun and I go down the stairway expecting this to be the whole HQ. It appears to be some kind of supply outpost instead. I see lots of cardboard boxes with markings of different dates and rooms, possibly terror plots that I don't know how to get to the Mossad. There's an exercise station which could provide a jihadist with a full-body workout. Before I ran back upstairs I saw an old bicycle, an extensive pipe network/HVAC system leading somewhere above, and a washing machine. I opened a box marked "kitchen" and it was full of KNIVES and other cooking weapons.

What the fuck is Hamas doing under my house? Do their tunnels stretch to Colorado?