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Selfhosted
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I felt that in the very core of my being.
Looking at my setup, sometimes I look back and wonder how tf I've made it this far. Dozens, if not hundreds, of hours of searching, reading, watching YouTube tutorials, and I feel like little has stuck with me. If the boot drive in my proxmox server takes a shit on me before I manage to figure out how to properly back everything up before that inevitable failure occurs, I'll be back at square one (as in, still clueless and destined to spend dozens/hundreds of hours getting things set back up and configured).
I can say that I am a bit more familiar with the linux terminal now than I was a couple years ago when I first started, so there is some learning and growth taking place. But I'm still just a wee lad still trying to figure out how to simply stand up on my own. And heaven help me if an actual problem arises.