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this post was submitted on 10 Oct 2024
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Comic Strips
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Comic Strips is a community for those who love comic stories.
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I sneezed at an angle this morning and fucked my back up. Also, why the fuck does a large portion of my body and weight sit atop a single column of bones precariously cushioned by jelly and rubbery bits? And if said jelly/rubbery bits get squeezed a bit too hard, the bones smash nerves that control my fucking extremities?
Nature really fucked us.
Ah, see the warranty only covers you until you procreate.
From that point on, who cares if your body evolved to crumble into dust immediately after?
In fact kind of a lot of creatures literally die right after creating offspring.
So you're saying that so long as I don't have kids I can live as recklessly as I like and claim the damage on warranty?
Oh. Nonono. Just until you could have had kids.
Not even when you could responsibility have kids. Honestly, it's all downhill once you're like 12-14.
Some really unlucky people peak at 14 but for the vast majority the peak will hit in their early thirties. For those who prioritize sleep, play, and socializing that peak is a plateau until about 50.
This is why we Asexuals live forever.
Mortal skill issue.
I think the warranty stretches a little further. You also need to live long enough to ensure your offspring become moderately self sufficient, but anything above 30 is definitely buyer beware
Wrong, at least in most primates a social web around the child formed from the parents, kin, and fellows is evolutionary advantageous