Hi everyone, I'm currently going thru a breakup with someone that seems to be a narcissist (no diagnosis but their behaviour seems to point that she is) and I think is the first time I dealt with someone like that.
We had a fallout after she had an argument with her family and friends during a party that I attended to at her place, she stormed out of her place completely drunk and left me there in a weird position, her friends where bitter and told me things about her and it matched with things I saw by myself but wasn't sure so I didn't make a big fuss about them and that broke me completely since I'm deeply in love with her.
Her friends and I just stopped talking to her after her rude behavior and actually expected her to apologize to me or give me an explanation but she didn't budge and just kept on partying and not talking at all to me for almost a week and whene she did talk was to tell me that how did I dare to distrust her.
She has been on and off with me and calls me in the middle of the night piss drunk to tell me she loves me and that she misses me and then she'll go cold again, we'll spend a night together and then cold again and that's driving me mad since I already tend to overthink everything or day dream a lot and is literally torture in my brain I cannot take the thoughts out of my head since I'm hyper focusing on that only and is making me feel a lot of pain and solitude.
Have you ever dealt with a situation like this? Are narcissists attracted to ADHD folk? Do you have any ideas or strategies that have worked for your to bring yourself back to a more normal state?
Thanks in advance for your responses
Edit: I wanted to ad as well that she's a transgender woman and I had a crush on her since I was a teenager (she's kinda popular on social media in my country) she actually made me realize that I liked trans girls and somehow we bumped into each other again now that I'm an adult but now I'm having these thoughts that I might not find someone that understands me and she made me feel like an outcast again, I introduced her to my family and made it clear that I fell in love of her goofy moments in privacy and her eyes it was never a sexual thing like really was pure but now I'm totally shattered I've been drinking every weekend in order to catch some sleep and it's scaring me a lot
Drop it like a bad habit. She uses words to get what she wants out of people. You need to realise you can and will do better without her and the emotional abuse she is putting you through.
This is how it actually feels like being addicted to a drug and it's hard to run away since I got used to sleep with her and do things with her all the time plus the whole fact that I had this crush on her since I was a teen makes it worst cause I imagined I ended up idealizing a relationship with her but she's a broken glass and she'll never be happy with anyone cause she thinks everyone is disposable and she'll be looking for the next big thing really disgusting behaviour really
Yes, and what you are describing means you have to cut it. I've had such emotions.
You will also find out in future that there can be relationships with all the joy and none of the pain. Even dysfunctional ones will more often be better than not.
Replace her with a constructive activity that you enjoy. Live your life for you and love yourself. People who love their life are attractive to people who want love in their life.