There are ways to care about things and still manage a happy and positive internal space.

I question whether oblivious people really are much happier. I feel like their dissatisfaction and unhappiness is just more insidious.

Think about stuff like toxic masculinity meaning men can't feel like they can be or show emotions, or talk about stuff, or feel like they shouldn't go to the doctor and "tough it our", or fall into inceldom, or constantly worried about "appearing gay" and so they can't allow themselves to enjoy certain things instead stressing themselves out, and so on.

A lot of such unquestioned behaviours and thought patterns may just lead to a general unease one cannot pinpoint the source of. I look back to myself before realizing I was trans as well as not knowing I had adhd with the feeling of just generally stuff seeming wrong and me struggling with things, but not knowing what or how, only figuring it out once I got immersed in supportive, accepting, and queer places embracing allowing yourself to just be you and be different. In the long run, it is so much more extremely freeing.

Meanwhile, my family, who are all conservatives, all seem utterly miserable, because they are incapable of analyzing and changing their own behaviours. They do things just because that's how things are done and learned, not because they are actually reasonable things to do. They are following unquestioned behaviours and thought patterns, and much worse off for it.