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[-] Malyca@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 week ago

Hell yeah she would. I'm relatively safe and no longer being traumatized, that's all she ever wanted.

I'm going to enjoy torturing my 14-year-old self. My 14-year-old self was a shithead. But I was raised in a conservative Catholic house, and at that age I firmly embraced the version of reality common among the Fox News set. I was that annoying conservative high schooler. Sure I was repping hard, but I was still an idiot.

Now I'm a late-30s trans woman, about to celebrate 8 years of marriage to my wonderful husband.

The things I can say. I'm going to haunt this kid's dreams.

[-] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 1 points 1 week ago

Haha oh fuck yeah!

[-] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

14 year old me would be confused and horrified by more than one thing. Starting with the LGBTQ+ acceptance, no faith, the fact that I'm doing a job that would be considered inhumane at all, and that I'm under some boss.

On top of that, I am no longer asexual, so imagine how mind-blowing that is to someone for who doing the things I did was completelly unthinkable.

Oh and the whole saving a life thing, my psych diagnosis proving I'm not simply lazy, the anti-human relationships outlook, lack of gaming desire.

[-] Pudutr0n@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

diagnosis proving I’m not simply lazy

I don't know how to break this to you, WorldsDumbestMan, but the last lab results just came in and it turns out we have very strong evidence that suggests you are extremely lazy, just in a really complicated way.
:P

[-] STUNT_GRANNY@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I dunno about "proud", 14-year-old me was around when saying "gay" was usually a punchline, or an insult. Maybe he'd be surprised about my ex-boyfriend. Or my current boyfriend.

Whatever problems he might have with my current self, he'd definitely come around after all the insider trading information I'd give him. Then he'd definitely be quick about doing things I actually wish I'd done sooner, like quitting marching band and switching to theatre. Focusing on trades, rather than racking up debt, then later burning out trying to get an engineering degree. Things like that.

[-] LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz 5 points 1 week ago

Real talk, i was on Accutane back then and i seriously don't remember much of my life between 13-15yo. I was only supposed to be on it for 6 months but insurance crap left me taking half doses for a couple year. The pros of that time are, ill never have a pimple again... cons include, i have extremely dry skin all the time, i tried to murder my mom, i tried to kill myself several times, i have limited memory of my early teen years, it took me years afterwards to feel "like me". Would 14 year old me be proud of me? He'd probly pull a knife on me and forget it ever happened.
Ha ha sorry got a little dark there for a second. IDK if its even available anymore but stay away from that crap if it is.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I had no idea it could do all that.

I was also on Accutane in high school. The worst was after swimming in a pool -- the chlorine made my face and lips literally crack. Never tried to kill anybody, at least.

[-] Assassassin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 week ago

More than anything he'd probably be enlightened by the fact that I like banging dudes too.

[-] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Considering how horny I was at 14 I’d have been stoked to know there was even more sex I could have.

Shame I’m not even a little bi. (I checked.)

[-] curbstickle@anarchist.nexus 4 points 1 week ago

Shame I’m not even a little bi. (I checked.)

Well as long as you did your due diligence, I'm sure no one will complain.

[-] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Nothing proved to me that being gay isn’t a choice more than desperately wanting to get off but going soft in another man’s mouth.

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[-] tkk13909@sopuli.xyz 3 points 1 week ago

Yeah I'm what my 14 y/o self never wanted to become and I'm fine with disappointing him lol

[-] HasturInYellow@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

Shocked that I am still alive.

Extremely unsurprised by my mental health.

[-] 0ops@piefed.zip 3 points 1 week ago

Probably not, but I'm not very proud him either soo...

[-] Noodle07@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I'm playing video games all day every day. He would be amazed. It's adult me knows it's bad

[-] taiyang@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I'm one of the few people who's 14 yo self would fucking admire, mostly for stupid teenage horny reasons but also video game industry reasons.

[-] ignotum@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

You work in the cultured video game industry?

You're doing the lord's work 🫡

[-] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

Probably not, but the Steam Deck would blow his mind.

[-] Grimy@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

He would admire my game library, maybe even hate me for it. I wouldn't tell him I don't play any of them.

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[-] crunchy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 week ago

14-year-old me would be shocked that I'm even alive at 38, let alone living comfortably with a loving family.

[-] backalleycoyote@lemmy.today 3 points 1 week ago

Yeah. Wiser, a bit less impulsive free from the abuse of my parents, still playing Magic, still reading comic books, covered in tattoos, been to every punk show that kid ever dreamed of going to and more, touched boobs (like, under her bra even) on a few occasions… I got to be the adult 14yo me wanted to be.

[-] subverted_per@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 week ago

Honestly 14 year old me might not like what I do, but I wish she could have found out then what I would finally become.

[-] minorkeys@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 week ago

He'd probably give suicide a lot more consideration.

[-] Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org 2 points 1 week ago

14 year old me would not even have the capacity to comprehend it.

Future was just some made up nonsense back then and absolutely every single adult was part of a hive mind connected back to my mother. In addition, people weren't really people, they were more like background noise who i had to be cautious of. The world didn't exist outside my field of view.

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[-] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

I would kick 14 year old me in the ribs without a second thought. Kid was dumb af.

[-] Daft_ish@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 week ago

14 y/o me would be pretty damn jealous.

[-] ryven@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 week ago

14-year old me was way cooler than I am. I seem to be declining with age.

[-] Lawyerator@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

If I had advice to give my younger self, I'd have to be very careful about the whole causality problem. At 45 I have two awesome kids aged 5 and 2. I have an amazing wife who multiplies both my happiness and ability to make a living. Both my wife and I were previously divorced. I wouldn't change anything that might prevent me from meeting her and helping to bring my kids into the world.

If I had perfect temporal guardrails that would ensure this family path, I'd tell my younger self that it works out pretty well in the long run, but huge mistakes were needed to forge me into who I am today. Also, buy Nvidia stock.

[-] Tigeroovy@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 week ago

Now? Doubt it.

Like 3-5 years ago? Sure.

[-] bizarroland@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

Probably not 14-year-old me, but 12-year-old me, yes, because I used to lie to my classmates that I lived in a three-story geodesic dome home with a hot tub on the top main floor, and now that I am an adult, by complete and total happenstance, I live in a three-story geodesic dome with a hot tub on the top main floor.

I am not attempting to defend my lying, I know it was stupid, it was foolish, and I regret it to this very day, but it is interesting that it became the truth eventually.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

I always wanted a geodesic dome house!

They're fine...until you see the monolithic concrete dome home!

https://www.monolithic.org/

I want a house that laughs at tornadoes, earthquakes, and the rare simultaneous tornadoquake.

[-] shneancy@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

i transitioned, my 14 year old self would cry from joy

[-] OR3X@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

14 year old me would be very impressed with the things I have in my garage, but I'm not sure he'd be impressed with a depressed man in his 30's.

[-] Coskii@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 week ago

Other than possibly confusing me for our dad, yeah. I'd be impressed by what I have accomplished. I'd also be annoyed at the life advice I'd give myself.

[-] caboose2006@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

14 year old me was an asshole, so I hope not

[-] eaterofclowns@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

If 14 year old me isn't impressed with all the MILFs I hang out with on the regular now, #1 being my wife, his judgment can't be trusted.

[-] socsa@piefed.social 1 points 1 week ago

I've seen multiple people naked in person so yeah, I'd be a god to 14 year old me.

[-] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

14-year-old me would not be impressed, but 24-year-old me would be.

The difference is experience and understanding what the hell we're all up against.

[-] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Listen, I'm not here to impress a mentally ill child. But also no.

ftfy.

[-] Pudutr0n@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Look man, If I wanted to disappoint two people at once I'd take my parents out for dinner or find a couple of neurotypicals and have a threesome.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

If dinner goes well enough with your parents, maybe you can kill two birds with one stone.

[-] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago

14 year old me unironically listened to Sargon of Akad. I would kick that little shit in the ribs before sacrificing him in a Blòt.

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this post was submitted on 13 May 2026
153 points (99.4% liked)

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