Honestly he should just hang dong publicly. As in, he should just show his cock. Make it about cock. Goad Trump into showing his cock, maybe Biden's is bigger, and he could win entirely off of USA being fucking stupid.
I'm only 1/16th joking.
Considering that Hunter and Biden’s brother were both packing hog, its a safe bet so is Biden
...wait, since when do we know about the state of his brother's hog?
Pictures from 2019 leaked last year
Presidential Post Hog 
That hog is long since dead.
what if they did some kind of 'bring your adult son to work' thing for the second debate? and then hunter, with free access to the white house pharmacy, could try his hand at being biden's physician for a day
Let them tag team the debate
There is one way Biden could salvage this debate
The stage is set: it's the night of the second debate. Joe shuffles out to the podium, dark Brandon die hards are hoping this night will help him recover from the past week when Biden repeatedly referred to the prime minister of Israel as Yitzhak Rabin. Dems are ecstatic Joe manages the short walk with only one minor stumble. Trump struts out proving he's still capable of walking on his own. The debate opens with Biden barely stringing two coherent sentences together, he somehow blames covid and lack of stimulus checks on mexican immigrants which Trump runs with. Finally, the debate turns to our beautiful veterans. You can see Biden shaking with rage as Trump brags about the troops loving him and accuses Biden of doing nothing for veterans. Biden finally snaps and begins to say the only clear sentence the entire debate:
"Listen here Jack! Beau served this country and gave his life for it, you never served, you dodged the draft!"
He pulls a revolver from his suit and fires at point blank range. The recoil shatters every bone in his arm, the gun flies up into his face breaking his nose. He collapses, hitting his head on the podium killing him instantly.
Trump stands alone on the stage, the bullet having missed him by a country mile. He says something about Biden's shooting being worse than his golf swing
"And that's why we love American guns and patriots folks, because a real patriot using an...an American made gun would not have missed me by that much"
He should just shoot Trump in the next debate
imagining Biden pouring powder into an old timey flintlock pistol
The gun would blow up in his face covering it in soot, then the ball would roll comically slowly out of the barrel a second later
The one thing Joe could do to make me throw away my vote for him.
Biden clearly never learned anything from Obama - if Trump is so evil, just declare him a terrorist and drone-strike him 
"This is really it Neilia... I lost you... I lost Beau... now I'm gonna lose this election..."
"Not so fast!"
"Wha-!?"
"You haven't lost me, dad!"
["Lose Yourself" by Eminem plays as we begin a montage of training for The Sons Debate]
The only question is if crack is Hunter's equivalent to training weights he wears to hide his true strength, or if crack is what grants him his powers
He's been clean for years, but at the climax of the movie he's in his car ('04 Camry with a rusted-out rear bumper) in the parking lot during a commercial break and he realizes the only way he can win and avenge his father's death (died in the last scene) is by hitting the pipe. He says "lord forgive me, but it's time to go back to tha old me" and pulls a glock and a plastic baggie out from underneath the passenger seat.
Does the winner have to be first son no matter who wins?
That would be the funniest outcome so yes, I think so. Trump has to adopt Hunter and try to make him wear a suit to a baseball game. Hunter skips is to smoke crack and listen to Mumford and Sons with a woman he met at a gas station earlier that day
The sons debate! That’s a deep cut. Get the UFC to do it as a PPV event, Joe Rogan could be the moderator.
Which Joe has more brain damage, Rogan or Biden?
Biden, and it’s not close. He’s had brain surgery, multiple COVID infections, obvious age-related cognitive decline, has been getting dosed with performance enhancing drugs for the last few years to keep him from shitting his pants in front of a crowd of people, etc. His brain is Swiss cheese.
Rogan doesn’t have any serious brain damage, he’s just a dumb guy who never had any reason to be smarter. If Biden had Rogan’s brain, he’d be doing fine. If Rogan had Biden’s brain, he wouldn’t even be able to do his podcast.
Good point. I can hear it now. "Jamie pull up the uhh you know the uhh I uhh.."
"The hairless chimp?"
"No uhhh the uhh Dana said the uhh UFC uhh the..."
"Let's just look at the hairless chimp, Joe."
"My god my dad could drive a thing."
"That's great, Joe."
"That's a helluva monkey."
"That's right, Joe."
Biden-brain Rogan sitting across from Brendan Schaub while Jamie plays Cocomelon videos for them
Now I desperately need hunter biden to win a debate by smoking crack and generally being declared a really nice guy
a man I could smoke a crack with
Banned? DM Wmill to appeal.
No anti-nautilism posts. See: Eco-fascism Primer
Gossip posts go in c/gossip. Don't post low-hanging fruit here after it gets removed from c/gossip