First thing that comes to mind are my glasses I'm wearing right now. Might as well start with the thing on my already awkwardly roastable face.

An air conditioner.

A drawing tablet. Now I don't have to worry about running out of paper or other art supplies!

Electric wire strippers (I do a lot of electronics).

And a low power large work height microscope

The Lance of Longinus has its uses.

Haven't bought it yet so I'll have to update but I definitely think a street and trail dirt bike will make life so much better, especially where I live.

I'll save so much on gas. All the places nearby like local restaurants, friends houses, and my job all have back roads and trails I can hop on to get to faster. It'll be so much more fun. When something does break or need replaced it'll be easier to do myself. A bike will just be so much better.

An electrical potato peeler.

My girlfriend loves potato purree ... I just couldn't do it anymore

Roomba.

A roomba. (Long time ago though. Not sure I'd get one of the new models.)

A Fatboy Lamzac.

My wife really likes the beach, but I hate the sand and I find laying flat in a towel very uncomfortable.

This thing fits in my backpack and folds out to a very comfy air filled bed. It does lose some air over time, I expect to re-fill it every 2 hours or so, but filling it is just a matter of catching some air by moving the Lamzac around. It only takes a couple of seconds and doesn't require a pump or anything.

1. Legal documentation up to date. Hated paying the fees and having to visit lawyer's office. Easier to manage.
2. Nice stainless steel water bottle with a wide mouth. Easier to wash.
3. Pilates bar. When I have no time to go to in person classes, this bar has been super useful and I can store it easily. Easier to workout.

Two* empty cardboard boxes. One is roughly the width and length of my desktop tower; another is ~1/3 of the size of the first.

My desk used to have two drawers, right below the surface top. I was always hitting those bloody drawers with my thigh. Eventually I had enough, unscrewed them, and threw them away.

...ok, but what about the stuff that I stored there? Inside the big box, that is now over my desktop tower. The smaller one and its lid became divisions for the bigger one. It's organised, within the reach of my hands, and far from my thigh.

*actually three. One of my cats saw it on my chair, as I was organising the stuff here, and went into "if it sits, I fits, I call dibs" mode. It's in my living room now.