“Drop a grumpy”
– Johnny Depp testifying against Amber Heard
"Gotta sit on my thinking chair for a bit" or "lemme go listen to my own shit for a while"
Usually in dutch tho, "ff op de denkstoel zitten" or "even naar m'n eigen gezijk luisteren"
Hard insider, "Doing an Olli". We had a coworker named Oliver and when ever we were at a customer on site he not only showed up late but always went straight for the toilets making us wait even longer.
Not pooping, but whenever i have gas, I say I ate a kitten. Not many people get it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sjRO6BQFMw
For when I have to take a piss I like to say "I'll have to take a trip to the drinks return"
Works a bit better in German because of our bottle return system
I tell my wife I have to go blast a dookie.
It’s a Simpson reference.
Two of my favourites are:
Sorry im late for the meeting folks. I just took a massive bio break.
Where do you people take your excrement?
I tend to leave mine. Sometimes I even flush them..
Gotta run, I'm groundhogging!
I have to see a man about a horse.
I have to turn a bolus
I tell my dog "dookies get cookies" when she's taking too long to find the PERFECT spot to drop a giant soft serve ice cream cone.
My IBS is flaring up. Be back in 30.
I gotta go hang a mud snake.
I'm gonna knit a brown sweater. If you guess what I'm gonna do, I'll let you have half of it.
Instant weight loss plan.
Time to lighten my load.
Gotta shake a tit.
Train's coming in to the station, I can smell the smoke.
Time for the most productive part of my day
Gotta go ponder the mysteries of the universe.
Gotta go release my fear.
Gotta go pop a squat.
Gotta go stop a penalty kick.
Do pardon my absence, for it seems my coffee has stimulated gastrin production, triggering peristalsis and thus motility of a log flume near my nethers.
Toodle-oo (to the loo) as you leave the room. That's what I say to my cats at least.
I'm off to strain the spuds.
"I gotta see a man about a horse" Cowboy Curtis used this one on Pee Wee's Playhouse
I have to back one out
I gotta go shake a tit
Imma go look for some tile'd poetry
I'm kingly but I gotta get rid of this crown
(These were made up on the spot, enjoy)
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