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submitted 1 year ago by Salsifi@lemmy.world to c/memes@lemmy.ml

Can't trust anyone today....

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[-] pottedmeat7910@lemmy.world 135 points 1 year ago

My wife is a surgeon... Or as she puts it, "Standing in the way of God since 2005".

[-] zloubida@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

Meanwhile, God: 😏

[-] AllonzeeLV@lemmy.world 98 points 1 year ago

Just once I want to see a coach post game blaming God for favoring the other team.

[-] NegativeLookBehind@kbin.social 58 points 1 year ago

“Listen Jesus he’s got 15 years left to pay on his mortgage and at least 10 years of labor we can squeeze out of him. Plus this $110k medical bill to pay. You’re not taking him yet, you son of a bitch”

[-] Got_Bent@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago

$110k? That's it? Damn, that's some good insurance!

[-] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

$110k is just the copay.

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 53 points 1 year ago

I have a feeling that some nutjob out there is saying this unironically.

[-] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 41 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I mean there are people who refuse medical assistance because "god will heal me"

So yeah. There are multiple nutjobs unfortunately

Edit: idfk how but autocorrect turned nutjobs into buttons.

[-] demlet@lemmy.world 19 points 1 year ago

Yeah, a bunch of them were Covid deniers who ran to the hospitals when they got sick and clogged them up for responsible people. Buncha faithless hypocrites, just stay home and follow God's Plan...

[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

When you allow the lunacy that death, and therefore afterlife is a treatment option, well...

[-] query@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

It's called Christian Science.

[-] Salsifi@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Always assume the worst, specially with nutjobs !

[-] shasta@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

I always see "unironically" and pronounce the "uni" part like "university". Such a weird word.

[-] Pantoffel@feddit.de 3 points 1 year ago

Perhaps we are pronouncing "university" just incorrectly. Perhaps in the days of creation of the university it was meant to be a word for "un-diversity" -> "university"

[-] Sabre363@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

I have an "aunt" that genuinely believed that one of her brothers would be risen from the dead. Called it the Lazarus effect. I'd be almost willing to bet that she has posted this meme on Facebook unironcally. Probably with some cringy bible verse attached.

[-] LEDZeppelin@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Alternative caption: why are you removing the tumor I put in there? I haven’t yet received enough likes and prayers on Facebook.

[-] altasshet@lemmy.ca 22 points 1 year ago
[-] dingus@lemmy.ml 14 points 1 year ago

What, just because he's the son of God you think his human form is somehow special and immune to male pattern baldness?

[-] altasshet@lemmy.ca 10 points 1 year ago

Not gonna lie, this is a bit of a let down for me.

[-] dingus@lemmy.ml 15 points 1 year ago

A God who puts tumors into people for fun wasn't the let down?

[-] altasshet@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 year ago

That's just normal God stuff. Doing his own son dirty like that seems special, though.

[-] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Don't blame god. It's from Mary's father's side.

[-] frokie@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

But god could’ve picked someone else or prevented Mary from receiving those genes

[-] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

You are putting a lot of faith in the problem solving ability of the same guy that put his brand new creation in a garden with his biggest fuck up and a yummy fruit tree and said, "I made you dumb, but I hope you understand that this tree of knowledge is off limits to your dumb ass. And don't listened to Mr. Hissy."

[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I mean, he already let him get crucified.

[-] Kandorr@lemmy.world 9 points 1 year ago

I thought it was Jake the snake

[-] yumpsuit@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

‘I banish thee, Lucifer!’

[snake leaves the wound and slithers back into the wedding present for Macho Man]

[-] Scooter411@lemmy.ml 7 points 1 year ago

In this episode Jesus will be played by Michael Keaton.

[-] ApeNo1@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago

Likely inherited from his mum’s side of the family. Looking at you Mary!

[-] BassaForte@lemmy.world 18 points 1 year ago
[-] stevedidWHAT@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

Griever Jesus is the best name I’ve ever heard for a metal band 😂

[-] RIP_Cheems@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

It may not be Jesus, but it's definitely is gods will.

[-] Pistcow@lemm.ee 15 points 1 year ago
[-] argh_another_username@lemmy.ca 12 points 1 year ago
[-] samus12345@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

"How dare you? How dare you create a world to which there is such misery that is not our fault? Instead, you should have created a world of wonder and whimsy...in LittleBigPlanet."

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[-] demlet@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

How dare you?

[-] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

Truly one of the great monologues.

[-] yumpsuit@lemmy.world 3 points 1 year ago

His Only Begotten Son in there contaminating the sterile field. Brown Jesus would mask up in a gatdam hospital

[-] RQG@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Jesus Harold Christ!

If you agree that God gave us cancer, then you should normally agree as well that S.H..e gave us everything else.

this post was submitted on 11 Sep 2023
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