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Matt Gaetz Tells Girlfriend He Can Attend Quinceañera After All (thehardtimes.net)
submitted 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to c/theonion@midwest.social
16 comments fedilink hide all child comments

TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Former Florida representative Matt Gaetz informed his girlfriend Valentina he will be able to go to her 15th birthday party after ending his bid for Attorney General, sources who attend Rickards High School confirm.

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[-] Facebones@reddthat.com 52 points 1 day ago

Gaetz found out it wasn't "JV Dance" it was "JD Vance"

[-] theangryseal@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

Oh yooooou! I love this comment!

[-] Jimbabwe@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Somebody was on reddit today

[-] Today@lemmy.world 74 points 1 day ago

Sometimes the articles are just silly, but this one is worth the read!

[-] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

The cousins from Miami got me

[-] bitchkat@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago

The "Gaetz made a post asking reddit how to make venmo payments private" was my favorite.

[-] spamellama@midwest.social 3 points 1 day ago

Because of course he would

[-] theangryseal@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

I felt compelled to read it too. Haha.

Was not disappointed!

[-] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 36 points 1 day ago

So glad his schedule freed up

[-] radix@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago

He has time to finally go back and get another diploma. He can graduate high school again, right?

[-] NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago

He’d probably prefer middle school

[-] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

I cannot wait for them to take over Infowars

[-] davidgro@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago

This one is a different satire newspaper, but yeah.

[-] jwt@programming.dev 7 points 1 day ago

This one can take over breitbart or oan.

[-] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Punks probably drooling in anticipation

[-] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

TBF middle school volleyball finals take precedence

this post was submitted on 21 Nov 2024
640 points (98.8% liked)

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