I get a lot of compliments on my use of the English language and I absolutely cannot stand prescriptivists (among other pedants).
Family bathrooms are also great. Once flew with my intellectually disabled sister who fucking fingerpainted a rest stop stall on a previous trip when my mother broke her arm chasing her to the bathroom and she was left to her own devices. This time I brought gloves and wet wipes and there was a little suite kinda thing. I didn't need the child size toilet or the breastfeeding couch but the nice big accessible area around the adult toilet was good to have. She wasn't constipated that time so I didn't have to stop her from digging it out manually again but man; if I'd had to I totally could've! 10/10 would use a family bathroom again.
Oh for a lot of immigrants I do wind up resorting to folk music, and there's a lot of overlap with hymns and other spiritual music.
Oh that's actually a known phenomenon music is a different part of the brain from speech for some reason. Lemme get on the computer with a keyboard I've got a few more fun comments...
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Here's a ballerina getting activated like a fucking sleeper agent to the score from Swan Lake. I'd also like to comment that the way she's in the wheelchair and kinda slumped over to me suggests that the dementia has likely progressed enough that she's having trouble walking (it even affects muscle memory, eventually she may even forget how to swallow) so the fact that music can activate her muscle memory anyway is pretty cool.
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If you ever have a relative with dementia that requires caregivers that are not family or friends (nurses, home health aides, etc) please put together two music playlists for me (or spiritual me 😉):
- one set of chill music I can play if I need them to relax for bedtime and stressful events
- one more upbeat set of songs physical or recreation therapy can play if they need to get them up and out of bed.
If I don't know what songs they like I'll usually try whatever was popular in their demographic when they were 15-25y/o but that's never gonna beat knowing the exact song they danced to at their wedding.
Thnx for reading! <3
If you're as disabled as you say and either you have documentation (such as state benefits) or it's just obvious I would try APS (adult protective services) over the cops. Things will move faster and more effectively if you do some of the legwork (hypothetically speaking) for them ahead of time.
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Get in touch with the family that might take you in. Try to find three options who confirm they will take you. Write down or keep in a Google doc or whatever their: full names, phone numbers, email addresses, and physical addresses. The number one thing I see holding up cases like yours is housing, and if you have all those details worked out ahead of time a caseworker can do a lot more for you a lot faster. A lot of the time our psych social workers can get someone a uber / lyft or bus ticket easily enough, the problem is figuring out where they're going. If you have the contact info of someone they can call right there and then who has already agreed to take you, you are a slam dunk open and shut case. Get three so you have backups.
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Arrange for a ride locally such as a friend or acquaintance or literally anyone else who has a car and is willing to help you for 24-48 hours. This should not be hard to talk someone into. Many people want to help a person like you but don't have the resources to house someone for weeks or months. For this acquantaince you are an easy way to help and feel good about themselves. Use that. Tell them to wait for you to contact them. Again, try to get three options set up so you have two failsafes.
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AFTER you've done that, call your local APS (adult protective services) or file a report online. Do whatever you can to keep your family from knowing you called because it might take a few hours up to maybe even a day or two for them to get to you and you don't want your family tipped off in the meantime. Tell them you're being held by your family and kept from accessing your legal identifying documents like your birth certificate. If you get state benefits your documentation or papers regularly mailed to you may also have a compliance / abuse reporting hotline number somewhere on it. You could also try a crisis hotline through an organization that does community outreach. Tell them they have abused you in the past and you are in fear for your life. Tell them you HAVE A PLACE TO GO you just need help getting your documents. Again, you are easy to help in this situation, they don't need to worry about setting you up with benefits or housing or anything, just transport maybe. This is what the numbers and addresses are for, they may want to confirm you have somewhere to go and even have options. Just play up the danger and that they're keeping you from your documents. If you get an asshole worker wait six hours and try again (change of shift) or try calling a different agency or the next town over. You may also be able to find other places to call or worst case scenario call 911.
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The SECOND they show up and if they're able to get you those documents, get the hell out to that person who's helping you locally and block your family and do not tell or hint or give them any other indication of where you're going. Don't even tell the person giving you a ride if you think it will get back to them. If necessary tell them an entirely different final destination and just get them to get you to the airport / bus terminal and get out.
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while you're waiting, get all your medications, medical equipment / supplies, any valuables or sentimental items, and 3-5 changes of clothes all in the same area of the house. Make sure to pack sentimental clothing but especially pack accessible clothing that's easy for you to dress yourself with. Get them into a bag if you think you can do so discreetly, but a box or even just a pile in an out of the way corner is fine. If you have any special skin safe shampoo or other non-medicine but important toiletries stash them too or just make sure they're all in the same place in the bathroom. Get everything into 1-3 discreet / hidden piles so you just need to throw them in a trash bag and go. If there's any valuables you think your family will try to dispute ownership of, try to get any receipts or photos of you wearing or using them or texts from someone who bought them for you or whatever else you can find and put them in a Google drive folder or email to yourself. Worst case scenario though, be willing to leave some things behind if you have to.
Good luck and godspeed. :)
we had some trouble one morning when I was too tired to drive trying to get the dog to the vet. we kept ordering pet Ubers and the drivers kept showing up and canceling when they saw we had the dog. they kept saying they just saw the better rate and didn't realize it was because we had a dog with us. except it took like 10 minutes each time we had to try and get a new driver and we were trying to make it to the appointment on time at risk of them canceling the appointment and charging us a fee. is Uber going to reimburse me for the missed appointment fee? it didn't come to that in the end but it was very stressful.