I struggle go see beyond my unconsciousness pishing back and hindering me to reflect in a neutral way. I feel like I am stuck with my own image of myself without a possibility to see the actual me if that makes sense, so I feel like I'm not capable to be and feel myself? Like, in my mind the way people perceive me and respect and enjoy me is only a person I try to be while hiding my actual intentions. I am open with my thoughts and I am rarely hesitant to be honest but I still feel that contrast