I like to pull this list up whenever someone starts talking about how the signs are clear that the end is near: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_dates_predicted_for_apocalyptic_events

Our guns were no match for their energy weapons. They disintegrated anyone who got in their way.

We weren't sure if they didn't understand us or they just didn't care.

We tried to offer them resources but they disintegrated those as well.

The only thing we knew for sure was that we needed to keep running in order to survive their invasion.

We thought we would be safe in the caves, but their energy weapons made quick work of our cavernous shelter.

I was in the back with my pistol, ready to defend the children, when they broke through the last defenders.

I spent the entire magazine, but nothing could pierce their armor.

I threw my gun at them uselessly, resigned to my inevitable fate.

One of them stepped forward, extending a clawed tentacle. The small object at the end of its appendage squawked to life.

"You...are...John...Berrington... confirm."

I glanced at my wife as her eyes went wide.

They could speak our language.

I nodded my head.

"Confirm!" The volume got louder.

They didn't know what a nod meant.

"I confirm," I said. "I am John Berrington."

The silence hung in the air as I waited to be blasted to atoms, but it squawked again.

"We...have...been...trying...to reach you...about your...planet's extended warranty."

Honestly, this is just an indictment of the health care system in the Forgotten Realms. Mindflayers should control a powerful lord to mandate universal healthcare and improve the supply of potions and employ cleric healers throughout the realm.

Nice try, HR.

Sounds like the Mechanical Turk which was run by chess players moving the "automaton."

So much of the wow factor of new technologies is just marketing hyperbole.

"Sorry, guys, but I gotta bail."

I yearn to eat a potato I looted from the body of a zombie that I killed with a sword I made out of a tree that I cut down by punching it.

I'm not sure I understand the "yesterday's" part. Thomas the Tank Engine predates Cars by decades.

"Somehow Palpatine returned"

• Familiarity
• More games/better gaming support
• Consistency with computers used at work/school or by friends/colleagues
• IT people can benefit from using the same systems as their users to provide better support
• Availability of proprietary software necessary to run specialized equipment
• Non-power users might not run into significant issues with Windows since it does basic tasks like web browsing, game playing, and movie watching just fine

Video title: "How to unlock the demon door on the fourth level of Demon Smasher Elite"

"Hello, video game fans! Don't forget to like and subscribe! Last week I posted a video that isn't relevant to this video, but I need to drag out the time on this one to game the algorithm, so I'm going to rehash and plug that video. I'm going to shout out to my Patreon subscribers with ridiculous usernames I won't pronounce well. Now let's get to the part you've waiting for: I'm going to play through the entire thirty minutes worth of level four before you get to the demon door and I will stop to make useless commentary on the bad guys you encounter. Okay, now you've skipped forward to what looks like the area before the demon door part of the stage, but I'm going to talk about some unrelated anecdote about this game or maybe the game devs, and then plug my Patreon account and mention a completely different game that I'll be streaming next. Oh and here's the five seconds of the video you wanted to see when I tell you to click the right mouse button on the hidden lever next to the demon door in order to open it, except you aren't seeing it because you skipped forward too far and gave up. Don't forget to like and subscribe! This video has been brought to you by Nord VPN."

"Okay, I switched to Linux, now I'm getting this error message: _______."

"Install ______."

"It gives me this error now: ______."

"You have to update the _____ library first."

"It won't let me."

"You have to use sudo."

"It tells me to clone the git via the command line, but git says verifying login from command line isn't supported any more."

"You're following seven year old instructions."

"They're the only instructions I can find."

"You should switch to this other flavor of Linux."