Thank you for this additional piece of background, dear FistingEnthusiast.

I want to pet it.

Dating sites besieging their users with bots and fake profiles.

I used to live in an eerily similar setup, but additionally, the floor was made of tile that was as hard as diamond. And that made it no good for phones, plates... anything, really. They'd bust into pieces like they've been dipped in liquid nitrogen.
Also, is the mattress on the right inflatable? I used to have one like this.

I don't see you guys rating
The kind of mate I'm contemplating
I'd let you watch, I would invite you
But the queens we use would not excite you