CW HOMOPHOBIA: My mother said I was too young to be gay, and now I don't have the motivation to come out again. (beehaw.org)

submitted 1 year ago by ImASquirrelYipee@beehaw.org to c/lgbtq_plus@beehaw.org

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Hello, The 4 people in my family who I was considering telling my truth have previously shown acceptance of LGBTQ+ people. They are my mother, father, grandpa (mother's side, probably the most vocal ally I know), grandma (father's side). I recently came out to my mother. She stated that I was too young to be gay, too young to know, and that she wasn't going to believe me until I was over the age of 18. I am in the middle of my teens, and I do not believe I am too young. I now find myself unable to come out to anyone else. It took so much effort to get the words out of my mouth and now I don't know how to tell anyone else. I'm sure, I'm praying, that if I tell her dad, or my dad, or his mum, they'll accept me. They'll make it all right. I don't know what to do. How can I tell someone.

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[-] foxtrots@beehaw.org 23 points 1 year ago

Hot take, but you don't actually have to come out if you don't feel like it. Or, you can come out in another way - for example, when the time comes, be like "hey, I have a [boy/girl/whatever applicable term]friend and I want you to meet them." If you still want to be out but don't feel like it right now, maybe wait a little bit and then come out to the people you're most sure will respond well.

Good luck with your journey and I hope it goes better next time. Just remember to listen to your needs and not push yourself out of any sense of obligation.

[-] ImASquirrelYipee@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago

I kind of want to come out because if I don't I will find it hard to find a boyfriend especially in my current situation there are like 0 queer people around

[-] foxtrots@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago

That's fair. Are you in a place where everybody knows each other? If your parents aren't really likely to hear it from anywhere else, you can also come out to other people, like at school or in your social circles, without necessarily having to come out to your family.