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Kid repeats my patterns (sh.itjust.works)
submitted 10 months ago by lyf10@sh.itjust.works to c/parenting@lemmy.world

My kid , 4 year old. She repeats some patterns in my life.

I was good with maths, science, books but was dumb/stupid for day-to-day interactions with other persons and lacked common sense . I am not an introvert and want to company with huge number of people around me. But I miss the sense in people talk, my replies will be foolish. And, do things ( like : gym ) in artificial/goofy ways - my default facial expression was embarrassment.

This pulled me back and I lived with books, cinema etc. And my friends are either similar persons or persons who can tolerate(?) me. I do joke to them that I only have few friends . The number is 4+3 and the answer is 6 ( last one being myself )

Now, my kid behaves similarly . She is good at studies, but lacks sense and do things in stupid ways. She wants to be friend with kids. From what I understood, she has one friend only and others are not ok with her.

My innermost feeling is that even if she is having stupidity/lack of sense, she should be friends with same age kids.

My Qns are:

  1. She is concerned with the not-loved-by-others situation. She sometimes cry that kids said H ( hate ) to her. How to help her. Can I simply say your dad faced similar situations ( I do remember feeling what's the issue with me at many places, why they do not like me, and crying )

  2. How can I tell the world is not fare. And if she did not get friends here, she could find soulmates somewhere else.

  3. I think she is not a listener-type and keep talking what's in her mind at that moment. How to make her understand on listening to others.

  4. Finally, which doctor assistance required , like child psychologist ..

Thank you for reading all this, fellow parents. Any advises/Qns , let me know.

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[-] Vqhm@lemmy.world 4 points 10 months ago

If the kid is 4 they're going to be a COVID baby and possibly have some socialization issues due to lockdowns.

Talk to their daycare, preschool teachers, caregivers about their socializing and interaction. But kids need room to experiment, try, test boundaries, grow. If you measure them all the time rather than model behavior and tell them, show them, teach them what you want them to do then they will find other less desirable things to do.

Kids want to be involved and do things that other enjoy. Teach them the skills you think they need. If you value reading and music show them. If you value social interaction and conversation show them. They little sponges and will pick up whatever you make a point to show them consistently.

[-] kif@lemmy.nz 2 points 10 months ago

I'm not a parent and have nothing to add to this conversation, but your understanding and thoughtful approach to child development is truly admirable. Best wishes to you and OP.

this post was submitted on 24 Dec 2023
25 points (93.1% liked)

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