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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Alternative_Sky_175 on 2023-10-01 20:46:25.

Throwaway account because my family members are on here. I (f38) and my husband (40) have had a bad year. He had major surgery and I looked after our 6 year old and 2 year old for the last 6 months, while helping him recover and working full time. My parents helped out from time to time but they are in their 70s so I only ever asked them to mind the kids maybe once a week and never for more than 2 hours at a time. They are in creche otherwise.

A close cousin sent out wedding invites last week. The wedding is next year on the other side of the world to us. A trip of a lifetime basically. We decided we should treat ourselves for once and go.

I told my parents we going and they seemed to be happy for us at first. Then out of nowhere today they called me. Apparently my mother has been upset for days that we’d even consider leaving the kids and travelling so far away. They said they weren’t up to minding them at all. I said we were never going to ask them that, we had other relatives lined up. They said even so, they’d still feel totally responsible for them while we’re gone and if anything happened to them we’d be too far away. They said we needed to rethink the decision to go.

My SIL would have happily taken them, she has kids the same age and they adore each other. But my parents think our kids wouldn’t be happy there and ultimately they’d end up looking after them.

I feel totally disrespected as a daughter and mother. I was made to feel guilty for upsetting my mother and for considering leaving my kids for a week. So am I the asshole for considering going to this wedding in the first place?