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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/bethmcgoy on 2023-10-04 20:50:52.
About four weeks ago our family (me, my husband, and our 1 year old daughter) went to a wedding for some friends. And just today, my husband gets a text from his friend "just letting him know" that kids actually weren't welcome at the wedding. The information about kids not being welcome was not on the invitation, the only location that it was mentioned was buried on their wedding website under the FAQ. Additionally these friends had seen/talked to us several times in the months leading up to the wedding and not once did they warn us or mention that kids weren't invited. At the wedding we were very aware of not letting our kid disrupt anything, during the ceremony we were about 100 yards away hiding behind trees and during the reception we stayed outside the whole time either hiding around the corner of the building or walking around the grounds away from everyone. So we were very successful in not letting our kid disrupt anyone at all, and the groom even acknowledged this in his "letting us know". Of course we feel bad and are embarrassed about it. We did send an apology saying that we were sorry and that it was an honest mistake but included the info that the reason we didn't know was because we assumed that the official invite would have all the info we would need and therefore didn't read the website and never saw the FAQ. The groom has been kind but we know that the bride is very very very detail oriented (to an extreme degree, so much so that the groom commented on it in his vows) and we are certain that she asked him to message us. We aren't sure what it is that they want from us at this point, and what the reason for sending this awkward message is, we can't change the past. Am I the asshole for accidentally bring my kid even though they didn't disrupt anything? Or is it them, because they didn't make it clear but then got pretty upset about it and made our relationship awkward now?