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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Friendly_Source658 on 2023-10-05 21:03:06.
About 8 years ago, I (then 20s) was working as a receptionist at a car dealership in my town. During my time there, an older employee “John” (50s M) used to walk me to my car when I worked the closing shift. I honestly didn’t think much of it, since there were no street lights where we parked and it was a comfort to think someone was looking out for me.
Unfortunately after a few months, that mindset changed when John attempted to kiss my face. I’m unsure if he was going for my cheek or lips, but I felt extremely uncomfortable and no longer safe with him walking me to my car. After that incident, I spoke with the sales manager on closing shift and asked if he wouldn’t mind escorting me to my car at closing. I wasn’t quite sure how to explain my sudden fear of walking to my car alone, but he agreed without questions.
The following week, John kept trying to “take over” walking me to my car and the manager picked up on my discomfort. He asked me if I was alright, I broke down and told him what happened. He helped me file a complaint with HR as well as told them the behavior he witnessed the week he walked me to my car. HR saw it as harassment and John was terminated. I only stayed at the dealership another 3 months before I quit for another job.
Jump to today and I run into an old coworker, “Paul” who still knows John. He says John hasn’t been able to find steady work since I “got him fired”, that John is now homeless, and that I was an AH for ruining an innocent man’s life. He swears John was only going to kiss my cheek and I overreacted and destroyed his reputation. I told him that attempting any type of kiss was inappropriate and, while I’m sorry John has struggled, what he did was still not ok.
My friend overheard and also thinks I’m an AH who should have just not gone to HR. And I genuinely feel awful knowing that what happened caused him to be homeless. AITA?