Im open to anything, let her date and find someone I don't want to be in her way and I won't make it harder than it already is. I'd just disapear a while and if she needs me she can call. I'd always be there for her, even if she finds a new person and this person would break up with her I'd support her even if it wouldn't be my own child.

You say that you would support her even if it wasn't your child, what do you mean by this? You'd get back together and raise the child with her?

Why is that a possibility with someone else child but not your own?

I had my daughter at 40 for the same reasons you have right now. My only regret is that I didn't have kids earlier.

Kids are the most terrible decision you won't regret. It's a shit ton of work, stress, and anguish. And still worth it. It's also something that can't really be explained, you have to experience it.

Everything around kids is paradoxical. Worried about whether having kids is a bad idea? You're probably better suited to parenthood than people who 'oopsie' out kids at random. Having kids is murder on your personal freedom, finances, relationships, and every parent I've ever met has hated their effect on their lives, but parents also say it's the best mistake they ever made, that they make all the pain feel like it means something. Kids are everything people hate about other adults, being noisy, willful, ignorant, unsocialized, entitled, demanding, and annoying, but lots of people still like them. They have to be protected from everything, but exposed to life to learn from it. They are the most precious things in the world, but so easy to make that the stupidest people in the world can have a dozen. People have them to have someone to care for them in their dotage but end up with a genetic 'Nat 1' that leaves them parenting someone who can never return the favor. People obsess over getting it right and leave lasting psychological trauma while others wing it and end up with well-adjusted adults. People are horrified at the thought of abandoning them, but end up staying and putting the kid in a home with someone who hates them for their mere existence. Is that better or worse? Is it any wonder no one can make sense of it that reaches past their own limited experience?

I have a homework assignment for you.
I think before you make a decision like closing the door on parenthood forever you should have a full picture of what it involves.

Find a family. Someone with a 4-6 year old kid. One kid better than multiple. Explain the general situation. Say you want to spend a couple of weekends and part of a weekday with the family at their home to just acclimate to what being around kids is like.

Youll be able to see the full spectrum of parenting. The cute moments, the tantrums, the learning, the growth, what the parents have to do. Little visits only show a portion of that. A weekend will give the full picture.

I think you may be over focused on the initial couple of years of babyhood. A two or three year old is starting to be their own lil person. And at four on they are a full person with quirks and talents and everything. I can hang out with them, watch spongebob, go on hikes or go out to eat hamburgers or ice cream. It's great.
Of course, that's paired with responsibility and having to get them dressed and fed and cleaned every morning, but that's the trade.

I'll also say that parenting is a skill. You can be a shit parent of babies but a great parent of teenagers. Or your spouse can be great at one part and you pick up the slack on the other part. So don't feel like you have to be the super parent that can do everything.