I have a really good bright quality flashlight, USB rechargeable that turns on and off with no bullshit in between. It lasts a long time between recharges too. O'Reilly Auto parts. Found it among all the fun stuff they sell at the front counter.

Maglite, the last one I bought has twist on and off. No flashing or buttons.

Here's a feature I want that doesn't seem to exist in any modern flashlight:

DON'T DRAIN THE BATTERY WHEN TURNED OFF!!!

Seriously, the constant drain on the battery means that you cannot have an emergency flashlight in the drawer. How FUCKING STUPID is that?

Fenix makes a few that are like what you're looking for, I have two, one has one big button on the back and one on the side, the back button is a simple on off and the side button cycles the power settings, if you hold down on the smaller side button it goes to strobe instantly. The other is basically the same but both buttons are on the back and the smaller button toggles strobe by pressing it when the flashlight is off vs cycles power settings when the flashlight is on. I only buy flashlights that are set up like this or similar. I need to be able to access strobe instantly and I need to be able to turn it on and off at a low power setting without turning on the fire of a thousand suns to get there.

The vast majority of flashlights just go to your last setting with one click, what flashlights are you using that this is an issue?

I know the feeling. Most of those features are only useful in low probability events.

If you’re looking for simple flashlights, Maglight has always made decent flashlights, though I’ve been buying Ryobi flashlights for the last 15 years as they are relatively affordable and I’ve already a bunch of their 18v batteries. Not sure how weather proof they are but I’ve never had an issue with the “new” (I think it’s a 10 year old design) led flashlights.

The problem is that the old multiple-choice physical switches (like the ones from 90s) got replaced by a single electronic flip-flop button (plus lots of "modernities"). These old flashlights could last for decades (especially if the user has the knowledge to repair it through simple soldering for replacement of a defective battery contact, for example).

Peak power can only be maintained for a minute (if you are lucky) before it overheats. Peak power is the main advertised spec, so it has to be high and default mode so you don't feel cheated when you turn it on for the first time. The other modes you toggle through are settings that can be sustained for extended periods of time.

I have never had strong opinions about my flashlights. My favourite is a blue one I found that had leds and lasts forever on AA batteries. Never had one with settings all the ones I've used are on/off

I have two Fenix lights that both have 2 buttons, one on/off and a second mode selector.

The LD12 is perfect as a daily although the side/mode button is kinda awkward to use, the main button is perfect though.
My PD35R is a bigger one that's really bright, but also too big for normal carry, so I only use it for work when it's too dusty to see. It has 2 buttons on the back, one small one for mode selection and a nice big one to turn it on/off.