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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Several-Inspector-37 on 2023-09-18 00:45:48.
I am father of 5 biological children and 1 adopted nephew. My 3 oldest children are adults in their 20's and have previously moved out. My youngest 2 are teenagers aged 16 and 14, and my nephew is 8. My in-laws also live with us. We have a 6-bedroom house so each of the kids have a bedroom, my wife and I have a bedroom, my in-laws have a bedroom, and we previously had a spare bedroom for my older children to stay in when they visit.
My oldest daughter moved to my home country at 18 to attend university there. She met and later married her husband, and they have an almost 4-year-old son together. Things went south in their relationship a few months ago. My daughter moved out with their son, and she was able to stay with my brother for the last few months.
A couple weeks ago she was able to leave the country to move back home with us. My 16-year-old daughter moved into the spare bedroom so we could turn her bedroom (that is bigger and has its own bathroom) into a room for my daughter and grandson to share.
The whole family pitched in to decorate to my daughter's taste and to create a nice area for her son with a small loft bed.
When she came, she was initially grateful, but she did express not being too fond of sharing a room with her son.
Last week she suggested that my nephew and grandson could share a room instead. I told her if she was staying in my home it would have to be in a shared room with her son. She mentioned it a few more times so I asked my nephew if he would like to share his room. His answer was that he didn't really want to, but said some nights grandson could have a sleepover in his room.
Last time my daughter brought up the boys sharing a room I was a little harsh with my tone and my wife thinks I was being an ass. My wife isn't completely on my side. She thinks I'm not being nice to our daughter who is going through a tough time right now and might need some space/privacy to adjust to her whole life/future changing. She doesn't see why the boys can't share as there's only a small age gap and our nephew would probably get used to sharing with his little cousin. Am I being the asshole thinking my daughter should keep sharing with her son?