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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Worldly-Tradition598 on 2023-09-22 12:05:40.

My brother has two children with my best friend. They dated for almost 10 years. He was never that good to her though and he left when their kids were 4 and 2. My best friend and I remained best friends despite what my brother did. I have been a very big part of my niece and nephew's lives because I help her out by babysitting and generally we spend a lot of time together.

My niece and nephew are now 8 and 10. Two years ago my brother got married. SIL decided that since she was married to my brother she could make decisions for the kids on her own. She put a request in at the school that the parents wanted him to have her sister as his teacher. When my best friend was contacted she was furious. SIL also tried to change the kids doctor without informing anyone. To be fair my brother gave her permission to. But he can't even do it without my best friend and vice versa.

They ended up back in court and my brother was warned SIL could not interfere and an order was placed that she could not be part of official decision making for the kids. So she's not entitled to be at meetings with schools, doctors, etc.

SIL interfered some more in extra curricular's and tried to move them without saying anything. This led to my brother getting less parenting time with the kids.

This is on my brother. I do understand that. But SIL is always so shocked when I'm not around them or I don't treat her like she's a part of the kids immediate family. She thinks I should be telling her more about the kids when they don't have them, etc. She also said it was wrong for me to stay in touch "with the ex over my brother".

Recently SIL tried to say that my best friend had coached the kids to say mean things to her and to tell her that their dad shouldn't be married to her. I didn't believe her. Nobody in my family did. But she went hard on that and had some people outside of the family believing it.

I have been extra distant since. At my niece's (not my brother's daughter but another niece) birthday party she confronted me for being "distant" and was saying I was treating her like shit. She was like why does nobody care that my best friend keep the kids from her and their dad. This is when I called her a snake and said she overstepped and my brother allowed it which is why he doesn't see his kids as much.

She accused me of being rude and taking too much out on her.

AITA?