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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Silver-Butterfly-767 on 2023-09-25 00:41:08.

I (35F) am currently 8 months pregnant. Something I've learned (fun news for anyone aspiring to follow down that same path) is that a LOT of people, mostly older women, feel that if you get pregnant they suddenly have the right to both comment and touch your body without permission. Sometimes/often without warning- even total strangers. I'm an intrinsically private person and while I don't take offense, it does encourage the inner snark to come out.

I started showing around 5/6 months. I have two fibroids that are each quite large, think softball size. This causes me to look bigger and further along than I am. I've also not really gained elsewise (yes I'm aware it's a good problem to have, but I do look disproportionate) so it's REALLY apparent even under hoodies. Fast forward to last weekend.

I was in our local grocery store and an older, larger woman walks up to me and says something akin to "aw hunny, congrats! How far along are you?". Kindly, sure, so I smile, step out of touching distance (this is usually when they go for a belly feel) and say "8 months". She looked at me with a shocked expression and exclaims "Oh hun NO I would have guessed any day now! YOU'RE HUGE!!"

So... I smiled sweetly back at her and said "aw thanks, you too".

You can imagine it didn't go over well. At one point she said something about it being medical, and so my one interjection was "hey me too"- but it didn't do much to diffuse the situation. Eventually she huffed away and I carried on my business.

I don't really feel bad, but I am trying to gauge the assholiness of my response. I strongly feel that there shouldn't be a stigma that pregnant women suddenly become public property, but acknowledge I could have once again been the 'bigger person'. Or responded with "yeah I have two tumors in there with her" which has historically gotten a sputtering apology from people too. (Fibroids are benign tumors so this is technically true, just aimed at making people uncomfortable).