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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/AnonymousCandy1 on 2023-09-26 17:14:24.
Anonymous account because my husband knows my main. I (F34) and my husband (M34) have been married for 8 years, together for 10. We have a happy married life with 3 b3autiful children. I have a wonderful relationship with my husbands side. However, 8 years ago before we got married, we were going through a rough patch. Certain comments made by his mother made me doubt whether this is the kind of family I want to be a part of. My then fiancé (now husband) had told me that it was a misunderstanding and sometimes my MIL is rough around the edges and what she says doesn't mean what she meant to say and that i was taling it the wrong way. Anyways I have always told him from the beginning when we were dating that any issues we have should be between us and not to share what we go through with anyone outside our relationship. While we were going through the rough patch and I was having doubts, my husband surprised me with a bbq get together with both his and my family as a pre wedding celebration. During that event, my MIL slipped me a letter and told me that it was just between her and me. Needless to say, when I got back home that day and I read the letter, it was one of the most heartfelt letters I had read. My MIL reassured me that she would always care for me, and that mine and her son's happiness was all that she cared for. There were a few other things that honestly made me tear up. After getting that letter, mine and my MIL relationship improved significantly and any doubts I had were erased. Now fast forward 8 years, last week my FIL accidently let slip to me that my husband had told my MIL while we were going through the rough patch and of my doubts about getting married to him. My MIL has asked what she could do to make it better, and my husband had put it in to her mind to write that heartfelt letter all those years ago. Despite telling him then, not to share our personal things with others outside the relationship, my husband broke my trust and did it anyway. I have asked my husband if he did it, he admitted he did but only because he says he knew it would make me feel better and not to feel like his mother was going to make our married life difficult. I am now confused as on one hand the letter definitely improved our relationship, heck we even go on short getaways just me and my MIL, on the other hand my husband violated trust. I am now mad at him. So Reddit, AITA ?
TLDR : Husband told his mother we were going through a rough patch before our wedding. She writes letter that improves our relationship. Found out husband told her to write it even though he was told not to share our problems with anyone outside our relationship. Told him off for lying.