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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/crimsontide5654 on 2023-09-27 14:38:21.

AITA? I'm a 54/M my wife 54/F. We've been married 16 years and during that time I have paid for everything. She has a law degree from her country but gave up being a lawyer to come here. She is a us citizen. She has only had jobs where she would work 2-4 hours per day for about 14-16$ per hour. She took care of our daughter who is now 12 and in 7th grade. I have worked since I was 12 and in retirement I have social security, my 401k, my inheritance, and other investments. As I said currently I pay for absolutely everything we do and have and owe. She works and say that is her money and the money I make is our money.

I told her last night that i love her but if she thinks she doesn't need to step up and get some savings and start paying the bills (been saying for 4 years) and consider money for retirement, that I don't plan on staying with her to cut my retirement savings in half and just squeak bye and drag her across the finish line. That she shouldn't consider me her retirement plan. She said, "Why should i be with you if you wont take care of me," "You are an asshole". Again AITA?

EDIT: OK I may have worded this poorly. I only said that I would expect her, since she is working, to help pay some bills to help the family and to consider starting an IRA to help her with her retire goals. That considering me as her sole source of income in retirement is not a good plan for either us.