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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Top-Context3526 on 2023-09-27 16:25:44.
One of my (F24) friends, Anna (F24) had a baby around 6 months back. Our friendgroup is otherwise childless.
All of us used to hang out a lot before the baby was born. Baby changed dynamics because Anna wanted to bring the baby everywhere with her and its a baby. We tried to plan things around baby to include Anna but it always ended up badly. We shouldn't drink, cause Anna can't drink. We shouldn't be loud cause baby needs to sleep. Iceing on the cake is her baby is extremely fussy and cries all the time. It was just a downer for rest of us. So we started hanging out without Anna and her baby.
Last weekend all of us went on a staycation. We had a great time and posted photos and videos on instagram. Anna saw these and called me to ask why I did not ask her to come with. I tried telling her it was a last minute plan and we could only find a childfree resort so as to not hurt her feelings. She called my bluff sending me pics some random family had posted with kids at the resort.
She kept forcing me and I told her we did not want to hang out with her baby. She asked how can I say that about her baby.
I asked her to leave it at that but she wouldn't. I finally told her its a baby and we are all young. We don't want to live our life around a baby she chose to have. That we get to do adult stuff and party all we wanted. Her baby is the only reason she wasn't invited. If she left baby at home she can come too.
She got pissed off at me and called me a AH. She also sent a text in group chat saying she is disappointed in all of us for excluding her just because she is a mom.
Half of our friendgroup thinks I should not have told her the real reason and is mad at me. Other half thinks she is unreasonable.
AITA for telling her the truth?
From comments : we have tried to communicate to her about adults only events before. Other than openly saying don't come if you have to bring your baby.
She refuses to leave baby with her boyfriend or babysitter. Even when we say an event is adults only, like a dinner we had a few weeks ago, she still brought her baby. Baby cried throughout the night earning us glares and we had to leave early.