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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/UnhappyEnthusiasm882 on 2023-09-29 20:14:11.
I’ve got a situation, Reddit, and I need some guidance. I’m the older sibling, clocking in at 25, and my sister’s 20. Our family dynamic has always been... well, complicated.
My parents have been together for a long time, and they always wanted a daughter, even before I was born. When I came along, they were a bit bummed but not too disappointed. They kept trying for another child and faced some conception troubles, even seeking help from a clinic.
Eventually, they succeeded and were overjoyed when they found out it was a girl. They told me to be a good role model and keep her safe, which made me happy as a 5-year-old.
However, things changed after my sister was born. My relationship with my parents shifted dramatically. I felt sidelined, almost like I didn't matter anymore. I didn't get birthday celebrations, gifts, or a close connection with my parents. They said they had to focus on my younger sister because she was little, and I needed to understand that.
Growing up, my parents treated my sister and me totally differently. They made me get a job at 14 to help with bills and rent, while my sister didn't have to. I never got the same treatment as her - she got new stuff, and I had to work for everything with my part-time job, even though I had to give half of my earnings to my parents. My sister was the favorite, and we never got along well.
When I turned 18, I worked hard and got into medical school. But my parents said they couldn't afford to help me out, which really annoyed me. I decided to go anyway and worked my butt off to pay for everything. Despite the challenges, I finished my degree and started my residency.
My sister just finished high school and got into this pricey private college, living on her own with our parents' full support. I've kinda made peace with their favoritism, keeping my distance since I barely see them - living in a different city and all. So, when I visited recently, my sister shocked me by suggesting we go to therapy together. I thought it might help us patch things up, but the therapist ended up blaming me for all my sister's issues, saying I needed to step back for her mental health. I got seriously pissed, confronted the therapist, and, of course, my sister and parents took her side, leaving me fuming.
Since I believe what the therapist did was unethical, I filed a complaint against the her, thinking it was the right thing to do. Turns out, it's not as anonymous as I thought, and now my parents are begging me to withdraw it, claiming it'll hurt the person who was apparently "helping their princess." I had enough and hightailed it out of there, driving six hours back to my place, still seething and feeling like I could've handled the whole mess better.
Now, I can't say I'm not feeling like shit. I hate this situation, and while I don't feel like all I did was undeserving, maybe I should have handled it differently. So, Reddit, AITA?
Note: I'm not on the US or Europe.