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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/princessweddingaita on 2023-09-30 20:23:56.
So I (24F) am friends with Holly (28F) who is getting married next summer. Holly has always been a Disney girlie, and I wasn’t surprised when she told me and the other bridesmaids she wanted us to dress as Disney princesses. Holly is going to wear a huge, glittery, glammed up ballgown, and we’ll be in dresses that are more of a modern take on the princess’s dresses, but there will be text on the invite stating which bridesmaid is which princess and which groom is which prince.
There are five of us, and she wants us each in a different color, so she has chosen Ariel (pink), Cinderella (blue), Belle (yellow), Rapunzel (purple), and Tiana (green). She picked who would be who for us, and told me that she wants me as Tiana since I have black hair. The problem is, I’m white. The entire bridal party is white. You can see why I’m not feeling this choice.
I brought it up privately with Holly and tried to suggest alternatives for green (Merida from Brave or Anna from Frozen) but she shot them down (Merida’s dress is “actually blue” + she has no prince, and she doesn’t like Frozen). I told Holly that I will not be Tiana for her wedding and that I’m stepping down unless she accepts one of the alternatives or provides another. She called me a b**ch and a terrible friend and said nobody is going to care. I told her that I care, and I’m not doing it.
I’ve gotten some Facebook messages from some of her family/friends asking why I’m being so difficult and why I’m trying to ruin Holly’s wedding, and even a couple of the bridesmaids have told me to just “suck it up” because I’m throwing Holly’s plan out of whack. I’m standing my ground on this, but the pushback kind of has me wondering if I’m making something out of nothing. Am I the asshole?
Edit: Bride only asked me to get a tan. Nowhere did I comment saying she asked everyone. Even if I had done so and deleted the comment, someone in this thread would still be able to find it, or at least the [deleted] marker in one of the comment threads. ✌️