This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Primary_Tumbleweed89 on 2023-10-01 11:57:56.

So my girlfriend [F26] and I [M29] found out in August that we were going to be parents to our first child. Generally, everyone was very happy about the news. However because of the shock I felt at the time (it wasn't planned), I called my mother for reassurance and it helped. She wasn't happy I told her over a phone call which I understand and am likely an AH for. I apologised and we put it behind us.

My sister has been supportive, she helped us move to a new house, wanted to take my partner out baby shopping in a few weeks. However, my mother was less helpful. We had a facetime mid August about housing options, then my mother randomly asked me about if my partner was on the pill. I said yes and I've seen her take it, and she asked if I was sure. Almost like she was insinuating that I was baby trapped.

I have had worries about my sister. I'm happy she's excited but I feel sometimes she's too much. She was talking about having the baby every weekend so we could do stuff as a couple, and I said we have to consider both families. She was also concerned about us moving a bit closer to my girlfriend's family than mine. She said I wouldn't get as much support and questioned the support from my partner's as her mother lives 2 hours away. I said she comes down every weekend to look after her mother with dementia, we'll be fine.

My sister offered to pay for our gender reveal scan. We both thought this was a lovely gesture and said yes. My sister understandably wanted to come because she's paying for it. My sister told me that the one she was booking allowed up to five people to come and suggested we bring my mum along. I then said if she's coming, then my girlfriend's mum should come too. She disagreed because it's the only involvement they'll have during the pregnancy and my girlfriend's family will be at other events. We said it's not about who we're including, it's about having support during a personal appointment, and my girlfriend doesn't want only all my family there. My mum previously said either it's just my family or no scan. I said fine, we'll pay for it ourselves. My sister then messaged my girlfriend to explain her reasoning which left her in tears. She also said my family like to do things separate and they're a bit antisocial. They think meeting my girlfriend's mum at the scan will be awkward. We think this kind of reasoning is selfish and not putting our wishes first.

My mum and sister are getting me to understand their reasoning. I do understand it, I just don't agree with it. My girlfriend's mum isn't bothered by them not wanting her there, just more by how it's affected us. She told me not to worry about them and hugged me. She said she's happy to pay for it and for me to invite whoever I want.

This is a post here because despite many agreements about our side of things, I have doubt because my sister was going to pay for it. And I was considering my dad but my girlfriend's mum believes that would anger my family. AITA?