This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Alphabetsouphoe on 2023-09-21 06:39:12.

I (25f) have a sister (48f). She was 22 when I was adopted and I moved in with her after our mom died.

A few years ago, my sisters husband got a new job and they moved several states away. They were planning to move back to our hometown in 5-10 years so their storage unit was in our hometown.

6 months ago my husband and I moved into our new home and my sister flew in since it had been a long time since we got to see each other in person.

She told us the storage unit cost had gone up and she couldn’t afford it anymore. She asked if we would be willing to move things to our house to save money.

I asked her how much was left because I wasn’t going to commit to something without knowing what I was committing to. She said the unit was mostly empty and that it was pretty much just my things, Christmas decorations, and a couple boxes of pictures and kitchen stuff. I even showed her the areas we would be able to store her things and she confirmed it’d fit. So I said yes.

In the weeks between agreeing to keep her stuff and the day the stuff was actually being brought to us I asked how much stuff there was again. At least twice she gave me answers similar to what we originally discussed.

The day her husband shows up he is in a huge truck with a trailer attached and it is STUFFED. It was way more than we were told and way more than we could physically store.

As much as I wanted to help her I ended up telling my sister sorry, but we can’t keep all of this.

It’s not like I told her “get your shit out or I’m throwing it in the trash”. I put thought into it and offered her three possible solutions.

1. Let me donate things until it got down to an amount that we could store. I also emphasized that I wouldn’t donate anything before sending her a list of donate items that she could review and “veto” anything she truly couldn’t part with.
2. Let me repack items to try and save space, keep as much as we could and then help her find a smaller, more affordable storage unit for the rest.
3. She find the time to come down and donate items herself and bring some stuff back to her apartment so that it’s an amount we could store.

She lost it. She was so offended that I wouldn’t just put up with it and keep all of her stuff even though it technically wasn’t what I agreed to.

To summarize a series of conversations over several weeks, I am bratty, rude, disrespectful, selfish, and after our parents were brought up at one point she implied that my parents weren’t fully my parents because we aren’t blood relatives. And because my friend asked if I possibly antagonized her, I scrolled through every message I sent to her since this happened and there wasn’t a single time where i called her names. She has since cut me off completely. She says this is my fault because I initially agreed to keep her things and I shouldn’t have said yes if I was just going to screw her over. She said I “crossed an uncrossable line” and is done with me.

AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/spykid on 2023-09-21 05:52:39.

About 4 years ago, my cousin married a woman who I felt was a gold digger. Recently, they finalized a divorce and he got pretty screwed financially (he will still be fine). He found out I had made comments about her before they got married and got upset with me for not talking to him about it.

Some background - my cousin is a pretty successful guy. Started multiple tech companies and made a bunch of money at a young age. When he started dating his ex wife, I suspected she was in it for the money. My assumption was always that he knew what the deal was. He's a highly intelligent guy, but he's pretty socially awkward and not conventionally attractive. She seemed like a materialistic, wannabe Instagram model. It was pretty obvious to me but I was happy for him for getting attention from an attractive woman. Might as well have some fun after all his hard work, right?

Well not long after they started dating, I heard they got engaged. My mom shared the news with me and my immediate reaction was less than enthusiastic, so she pried. I told her it seemed like his fiance was only interested in his money but conceded that I don't see them enough (living in a different city) so maybe things are better than I think. She scolded me for saying that and I felt like a bit of an asshole. My family seemed to really like her, so I never brought it up again. They got married, had a kid, etc.

Well the divorce happened and it was not amicable. I guess she got A LOT of his assets, like millions. She's also being very difficult about their kid. My mom and aunt (his mom) approached me on my last visit home and asked how I knew years earlier. I told them I felt like it was pretty obvious and I was honestly surprised no one in the family felt that way. Then a couple days later my cousin approached me. He felt like I was talking shit behind his back (it was literally that one time) and I should have talked to him about it. I'm kind of annoyed that he found out about what I said, but my mom and aunt are notorious for having big mouths so I should have known better. I also don't think I am close enough to my cousin that he would have taken me seriously. He feels like I could have saved him from a miserable marriage experience, losing a bunch of assets, and having to now deal with child custody issues. My mom and aunt aren't too happy with me about it either, even though my mom basically stopped me from saying anything.

So, AITA?

TL;DR - Cousin married a gold digger and I voiced my suspicion behind his back, one time, before they got married. He got screwed in the divorce and feels like I should have talked to him about it.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Emotional_Cellist281 on 2023-09-21 08:07:46.

I (m26) have been dating my girlfriend (25f) for about a year. I have a 4 year old daughter, June, who I’m raising on my own, her mom gave up custody. My girlfriend, Amber, has a brother, john, who I’m not sure if he’s mentally disabled, I figured it’s not my place to ask. John is in his 40s and I honestly thought he was Amber’s dad. From what I understand, he has never moved out, I don’t know where his money comes from, and he hasn’t have a job in maybe 10 years and I know he isn’t dating anyone.

The issue that happened was a few days ago when Amber wanted to go out for some drinks. Like I said, I’m not social, so I really didn’t want to go, but John insisted that he’d watch June. I really wasn’t comfortable with this because I didn’t want to put June in a weird situation, I’ve never left her with anyone other than my parents, but Amber kept saying how great John is with kids and he watched her a lot when they were younger. Reluctantly, I agreed, gave him her overnight bag and the instructions to follow before she goes to bed.

We got an uber later and I came back to find June asleep on the tile floor, in a tight ball and drenched in pee, John was in his room with his door locked. I was furious, but I quickly took her into the bathroom to clean and change her. I asked what happened and he told me when we left, she asked for a soda, became high energy and she overwhelmed him, so he left her alone. I distinctly told him she cannot have soda, but he backtracked and said she had it without asking, which I know is a lie because she cannot open the tabs on her own. When I asked if he knew she peed herself, he said yes and gave her a small spank. I knew I wasn’t going to get far with asking any more questions, so I just grabbed June and left. My girlfriend called and asked why I left and I told her that I don’t’ want her brother near my daughter ever again. She said I’m over reacting and her brother is harmless. We went back and forth and she said if I really keep my daughter from him, he’s going to think he did something wrong and he’ll feel bad and I had it and told her that he did do something wrong and he should feel bad. In way meaner terms, she said I’m being a jerk.

AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/icyicywater on 2023-09-21 04:26:00.

My best friend said she wanted to hang out with me and get dinner after the gym, I offered to buy dinner for all of us (her and her kids) so we go pick up food to go after working out. We got our food and she separated my stuff out of the rest and said I can just drop her off. I was hungry and said why can’t I come inside to eat with you guys? She said she’s tired and wants to go to sleep. I was HANGRY and also I live 20 minutes away I told her she’s being weird and inconsiderate and I just wanted to come inside and eat real quick she said I was being annoying forcing myself into her house. I said whatever and left now I’m eating my cold food at home alone. AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Distinct-Emphasis-26 on 2023-09-21 04:46:13.

Tried*

LSS… Last year I had a coworker actively participate in an investigation to get me fired at work. All allegations were false and fabricated and I am still employed, thank God. However, this ordeal cost me tens of thousands of dollars (I’m in sales) and months of incredible stress at work and at home.

A few months after everything settled down, said coworker was diagnosed with cancer. He’s a POS, in my opinion, but I wouldn’t wish cancer on my worst enemy.

Fast forward to last week. A different coworker sends out a group message to all of our other coworkers stating he’s bought a card for everyone to sign and asked everyone to donate $20 to help out.

Today, after being asked why I had not yet signed/donated, I told him I will not be signing the card nor donating. He was incredibly upset.

AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/feelitoutaita on 2023-09-20 21:41:51.

My ex-husband (Kyle) and I divorced 4 years ago. We have 3 kids together (11, 8, & 5). I was a SAHM and primary caregiver for the kids, so I petitioned for and was granted primary custody while Kyle gets visitation. He's been trying to get 50-50 split custody, but due to living over an hour away, he has only been granted extra time with the kids. We co-parent pretty well. Or, at least we used to. Things started going south after I remarried a little over a year ago.

My current husband (Jeff) and I were old friends from college and we reconnected through mutual friends after my divorce. Jeff has never been married and has no kids of his own. But he's an amazing step-dad to my kids. He loves them and dotes on them as if they were his own.

Kyle and Jeff did not know each other before I got remarried. But as soon as Kyle found out that Jeff and I were old friends, he started acting really weird and suspicious and I heard from mutual friends that he was asking them if anyone knew if Jeff and I were connecting with each other before the divorce. None of that is true and after I heard about it, I confronted Kyle and told him to stay out of my personal life because that's not his business.

Recently, after one of the kids' visits with Kyle, he said he needed to talk with me about some things. Apparently, Kyle was upset that Jeff has been buying expensive items for the kids. Jeff makes good money and enjoys "spoiling" the kids. The older 2 had brought the new Nintendo systems Jeff got them over to Kyle's house and it started and argument because Kyle made them put them away and not play on them.

Kyle said that he's not comfortable with Jeff spending large amounts of money on the kids like that because he feels like Jeff is trying to "buy" their affection and put too much emphasis on consumer items. I told him that gift-giving is Jeff's love language and it's how he prefers to show he cares about someone.

I told him that I won't tell Jeff not to spend money on the kids because it's his money and he can spend it however he likes. Also, the kids love it and they don't argue with each other about having to take turns on stuff like that. I told him that I would never tell him how to spend his money and he's free to buy things for the kids too.

I told him he's coming off as jealous and it's not a good look, but I will at least try and make sure the kids don't bring things like that to his house if it will make him feel better. I told him that he needs to work on his insecurities about Jeff because he's going to be in the kids' lives from now on. I told him that Jeff is not trying to replace him and that buying a few things for the kids isn't a big deal.

He told me to stop being a condescending b!tch for 5 minutes so that we can actually have a constructive conversation about his concerns. I told him if he's going to speak to me like that, he needs to leave my property right now.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/discont_waffles on 2023-09-20 20:00:52.

So I am an only child by mom and dad, they were never married and didnt really date when I was born but they are still friends to this day. My mom met my stepdad when I was like 4 or 5 and they dated for a LONG time, they didnt get married till I was almost 10 lol. He had 2 daughters around my age, one was basically the same age as me and the other being about 2 years older than both of us. We all moved into a new place, it isnt the biggest so me and the younger stepsister had to share a room.

Maybe its just my own weird issues but I never really felt like I "belong" with them. I want to say that they were never ever once mean to me or bullied me but I always got the sense that I was just an "add on" if that makes any sense. Me and the one I shared a room with fought quite a bit but that was more in the past and we've been good for about a year. I know they never had any responsibility for me to not feel this way but deep down I always felt left out in a way.

Me and the one I share a room with are entering senior year of HS and the oldest is going into her 2nd year of college. While at home I was on the phone with my friends and a couple new people that have been added to the group if that makes sense. IDK why but one asked if I had any siblings and I said no and that im an only child. It didnt even cross my mind that my stepsister was also in our room and was reading. I looked up at her and I am pretty sure she heard what I said but she didnt looked phased at all and kept reading.

After I was done I guess my mom heard what I said (our door was open) and wasnt too pleased. She made me apologize to my stepsister who seemed to not really care and gave me this whole lecture about how its rude of me to be so cold to people ive known longer than I haven't. I am wondering if what I did was wrong. So AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/IWantSteamedHams on 2023-09-21 01:05:50.

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/16dl77v/aita\_guy\_i\_went\_to\_school\_with\_refused\_to\_say\_he/

So this whole saga has been resolved. I hadn't been to the volunteer session since the whole incident happened and I was mostly over it. I contacted a few other classmates and they basically told me that the guy I had the issue with did the same thing to all of them, the only difference was that I actually ran into the guy in person so that's what made it super awkward.

I emailed the event coordinator earlier today because I was interested in volunteering this weekend and next weekend and I wanted to make sure that guy wasn't already on the schedule.

Turns out he was there last weekend and he had an absolute meltdown against one of the other volunteers. I don't have any specifics but apparently it was bad. They told him to leave the premises and he isn't allowed back. One of my new friends from the bar incident saw it happen and the guy just lost his mind without any provocation. I'll get more details this weekend.

So I guess the issue is resolved. I am still extremely confused, but I am just going to move on.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ThrowawayMyDadIsBad on 2023-09-21 01:19:03.

Throwaway for privacy reasons. I (25M) left home when I was 17 because my step-father made my teenage life a living hell. Little bit of a backstory, my mom had me when she was 19 and was a single mother until I was 12. We moved from place to place for many years until she met her husband. At first, me and him got along fine. While we had different interests, we were civil with each other at the time. He pulled me aside a year after they met and after we fully moved into his condo and asked me what I would think if he proposed to my mom. At the time, I was excited! Not only would my mom have a husband, but I would finally have the father figure I was desperate for! It was after their wedding when things took a turn.

I’m not going to say everything he did to me (I don’t have enough characters for that) but here are some of the highlights:

1. Took my bedroom door off of its hinges when I asked for more privacy
2. Picked the lock on the bathroom door when I’m answering natures call just to yell at me that I forgot to turn off my bedroom light that morning before leaving for school
3. Threatened to game over himself when mom and I yelled back at him (he was screaming in my face for burning the dinner I was cooking that night)
4. Said to my face “you have no idea how much I want to wring your neck right now” because I didn’t want to go to archery practice that day because I had a date
5. Took away my Christmas presents on Christmas Day when I was 14 because I slept in

There are many others but not enough spaces. When I was 15, mom got pregnant and my little sister was born 9 months later. I adore her to this day. She’s 9 now. Here is where I might be TA. One day in summer when I was 17, my step-dad and I got into a REALLY heated argument. I don’t remember what about. I begged mom to call my grandparents to come pick me up. They did with my uncle hidden in another driveway to make sure my step-dad didn’t follow us. Mom and I still kept in contact (we never talked about step-dad when her and I talked) but I went no contact with him. 8 years later we’re at the current day and mom comes to visit for a month with my little sister. A day before they made their trip back, my little sister was crying saying she didn’t want to leave because “daddy will just yell and scream again.” That was a HUGE red flag for me so I asked mom to tell me the truth as to what’s going on at home. She broke down and says he’s been treating her worse and worse ever since I left and that she’s planning an exit and divorce. 2 weeks later they’re back with all of their stuff in tow. My step-dad’s side of the family have been barraging me with messages saying it’s all my fault and I broke up a family that didn’t deserve to be. My side of the family says I was the victim, but I don’t know. I feel really guilty. If they divorced because of me wouldn’t it be my fault after all? AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Throwaway35641 on 2023-09-20 23:03:05.

My (15M) mom died 6 months ago, pretty much straight after my dad took down all the pictures she was in. A month ago I met my dad's new girlfriend and her 8 year old son, they moved in a week after I met them and they're already talking about getting married early next year.

I've not tried to form a relationship with them and I've been pretty much ignoring them since they've been here, I'm not interested in having a new mom or brother, which is what my dad wants. It just feels like she's replacing my mom, there's literally no signs of my mom ever living in my house It pisses me off so much.

His gf complained about me to my dad after I refused to take her kid to the park. He screamed at me and we had a big argument. He said I'm not respecting his relationship and I need to move on from my mom and accept his gf and her kid since they're part of the family now. I don't understand how he can move on from my mom so quickly. My dad grounded me until I can "learn to respect him and our family"

Am I the asshole? should I have made more of an effort with his girlfriend and her son?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Early-Retirement-22 on 2023-09-21 00:07:00.

I have always been good with money and am careful with it. I also inherited a good chunk to be fair, I was able to retire last year fairly early as these things go. I am not married and have no children. My sister in law asked me to help with her daughter's wedding. This is my brother's step daughter, there is no blood relationship. I suppose she is not really my niece, but they call me her uncle.

I initially told them I would help, I was thinking maybe $1,000 or so. I was going to give the same amount as a wedding gift, but they did not know that. They started booking things and asked if I could give them $15,000. Yes, I could, I just don't want to, I would give $1,000. My sister-in-law started pressuring me for more, I said no. $1,000 was a nice contribution for a step uncle (for lack of a better term). She then got angry and called me names, etc. This is where I might be an asshole.

I told her that the offer of any money is rescinded, I would not give a cent, not attend the wedding and not give a gift. She called me an AH and all sorts of other things. My brother called me an apologized for his wife and asked if I would consider $5,000. I told him that I loved him, but did not like his wife and that my decision to give nothing stands. He then joined the AH chorus.

AITA for rescinding my offer to $1,000?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/pinkies_up_sip_sip on 2023-09-20 21:25:43.

So my sister is getting married in November, mid November. My birthday is in October, mid October.

Anyways, I have been looking at some restaurants to celebrate my birthday with my core group. Today as I was searching for a dress to wear for my birthday. I found the prettiest white dress with sunflowers tho white gave off autumn vibes. Its also very fairy/hippie like which fits my whole aura in general.

I excitedly show my sister the dress- and yes, its overwhelming white because its long with peasant style puff sleeves, however, its clear that its not remotely a wedding like dress or bridal party dress. She asked me how could I wear white when she is the bride. Her wedding festivities had begun (we just got back from her bachelorette and her bridal shower is towards the end of October, after my birthday) and me wearing white is not okay. Only she can wear white. "You're not a bride you cannot wear white" were her words.

I took it as a joke, and told her, its my birthday, I can choose to wear whichever color I wanted. She is a reddit lurker, and I told her I was going to ask reddit for their opinion.

So reddit, WIBTA if I choose to wear white to my birthday dinner? Or is my sister on the verge of becoming a bridezilla? So far things have been light hearted between us, however I do believe she would take issue with me wearing white.

TLDR: I want to wear a white dress for my birthday in October- my sister is getting married in November. She thinks only she can own the color until after her wedding day.

Edit: I live in Miami where white does not go out of fashion - side note.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Throwaway201908399 on 2023-09-20 19:34:36.

So, disclosure: I love my SO. They are absolutely the person I want to spend all my time with, and I thoroughly enjoy making them happy as I can. We've been together for more than a few years now. Let's call them a super non-binary name like Chris, just in case they find this. We're Nth generation Americans, so nothing below is cultural that I can tell.

Chris has some eating habits that they're unwilling to change, and I just cannot have a meal with them.

• They eat with their hands. We're not talking about fries and pizza, we're talking about picking out the sliced olives from their salad. If I grill some veggies, then they'll ignore the utensils altogether, and eat with their fingers. It's not a huge deal, but happens enough that it makes me feel a little uncomfortable.

• Open mouth chewing. This is the killer for me. Chewing with their mouth open and then licking or smacking their lips. It's not a quiet chewing either, as it's a bite of a burger for example, and then chewing without closing their lips. After a bite, it's a half tongue out to lick their lips. It'd be one thing if I could just read a book or check my phone while we're eating but the killer is always the sounds! I can hear the SMACK SMACK SMACK while eating. Did I mention the soup slurping? There's soup slurping too. All the noises while eating.

For a few months now, I've been avoiding meals at home together (mostly dinners), where I'll make them a meal, and then just say I'm not feeling well or hungry. They began to notice that I had an appetite when eating out at restaurants or with company, but seemed to be avoiding the issue at home. So I explained the issues, and they seemed super oblivious about it. So I asked if I could point out when they were doing it, in case it was thoroughly subconscious. We tried that for a bit, but they quickly became frustrated with my "constant corrections."

I've given up at this point, and have considered this to just be something we agree to disagree about.

I absolutely love every other interaction we have, and everything else in this relationship aligns exceedingly well.

AITA for just avoiding meals with them when we're alone? They expressed how they're feeling hurt when I avoid meals, or point out the noises, but they're also unwilling to work on the uncomfortable (for me) sound effects.

When we're eating with others, then I'll stick around but usually ensure that I'm back in the kitchen to "finish up" or clean etc. while they eat so I enjoy more of my meal without the barbaric sounds (I kid, but seriously...)

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Any-Temperature-8825 on 2023-09-20 22:39:47.

I(m27) started dating my gf (f25) 1.3 years ago and things are going great between us. We also live very close to each other like(my flat is exactly 560m from her flat). The only thing that some time bothers us is our income disparity. I make almost 3 times more than her and I also have intraday trading accounts so I also earn money from their too. It some time makes unbalanced in our relationship but I am always very mindful to treat money carefully arround her. I don't spend carelessly in front of her and I pay majority of our dates and all.

In 2021 I bought a MacBook pro and after using it for almost 1.5 yr I don't like working on it anymore and i decided to give it to my younger sister (18f). I know it sounds snobbish but I wanted to build a gaming pc for me and now the pc part are all time low price so i am building a very expensive gaming pc. After booking everything online I told my gf about this and she started telling me how much I am spending on something when I already have a expensive laptop. I told her everything that you can't game on mackooks and it's work laptop and I need a gaming pc for me but she kept going on and on about how unnecessary it is. Finally after half and hour i just told her if it's bothering you that much don't pay attention to it and it's my money I can use it however I want. Again she got emotional and left. Now she is giving me cold shoulder and I am feeling very complicated.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/its-for-the-better on 2023-09-20 19:59:35.

I (60s) have two sisters (60s) and we were born from our father's first marriage. Unfortunately our mother passed away when we were young, so our father was left all alone to take care of us and I admit it must have been difficult to do so, I mean, we were teenagers at that time. Our father was an immigrant from Italy and saw the horrors of war firsthand but was always a good father and also a decent man.

He married his second wife, the stepmother, and they stayed together until his death. Bear in mind the stepmother was the same age as us and so the relationship between was always strained. Stepmother got pregnant and at that time concerns were raised because of their advanced age. Unfortunately our father passed away fifteen years ago, my sisters and I were in our fifties, half-sister was only 12. She's now 27.

I should mention that half-sister was absolutely the apple of our father's eye.

When he passed, I made it very clear that I didn't want anything to do with the stepmother and half-sister anymore, that all the ties were gone and so we were no contact for a couple years even though we lived in the same street. Stepmother took my half-sister out of school after his death, purposely ruining her daughter's life. I know that my half-sister did not have the normal experience of growing up, she also lost her friends, she missed out on the experiences and I always knew it would come to this because stepmother is a terrible person.

I recognize that I did have the privilege of keeping a normal life after a parent's death and while it is a shame that half-sister hasn't had the same chance, I choose not to intervene.

Fast forward a couple years, found out my half-sister got severe depression, hasn't finished her studies and is pratically a doormat. Our father left each daughter a share in his estate, but half-sister was very irresponsible with hers. She tried to reach out to my sisters and I, saying her psychiatrist told her she "needed a support group," and said she's alone and can't count on anyone else.

She's going through a difficult time and wants to cut ties with her mother/our stepmother. She says she desperately needs someone. We tried to explained to her that a lot of time has passed, there's no bridge between us and our father's already dead. As in, there's no bond anymore.

I got a call a couple days ago from the psychiatrist (apparently she gave my number to him in case of a emergency), who's very worried about her. To put it bluntly, I told him to forget my number, to never contact me again and made it clear that I don't want anything to do with the stepmother and half-sister. I also told him I will never forgive my half-sister for what she did to our father, destroying his legacy. AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwaway1075868 on 2023-09-20 21:49:11.

I (43F) am close friends with my neighbor (42F) and we both have kids that attend the same highschool. We don’t live far from the school, but it’s not really walking distance. My neighbor has work early in the morning and there’s no one home when her son has to go to school so I’ve always let him ride with me and my son. As for picking him up, my son has football practice directly after school so I don’t need to pick him up. However, my neighbors son doesn’t have any practices so I find myself going to just pick him up often. His dad can pick him up, but his dad also works a lot and goes on business trips almost every other week. So again it’s mostly just me.

Earlier this week, my neighbor was off work and I asked her if she minded taking my son to school with hers since I had a work call that morning I had to take. She said no, which kind of had me taken aback since I figured she’d just do it. I asked her why and she told me “You’re home, you can take him.” I was honestly just speechless, and so I took my son that day and she took hers. I called her later that day and told her I thought it was pretty rude that she wouldn’t take my son when I take hers every single day. She told me that her son doesn’t have any other option, while mine does. I told her she should show some appreciation for me because if it weren’t for me, her son would be walking 3 miles to and from school every day. She still kept repeating the same thing, that I’m home so I can take my son, and I told her if that’s how she feels I’m not taking her son anymore. She screamed at me but I just hung up.

I stuck to my words, and yesterday I didn’t take him to school so he had to walk. He ended up being late and my neighbor texted me an angry message about how I’m ruining her sons attendance. My husband noticed the text and asked what it was about. I told him what happened, and he told me that although our neighbor was being a pain in the ass, I shouldn’t just refuse to take her son because it’s not his fault and it’s too far to be walking. Now I don’t know if I’m wrong or what to do. I feel like it’s reasonable to not want to take him anymore since my neighbor doesn’t value what I’ve done for him, but I also see my husbands point of that it isn’t her sons fault and 3 miles is a pretty long distance to walk. AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Key-Objective6729 on 2023-09-20 21:29:35.

My husband has 2 (19 and 16) daughters from his previous relationship. He only sees them once or twice a week on his days off. Its because of his work schedule that he can’t see them often. When they come over they usually stay for a short time, eat dinner or lunch, and talk with their dad. Sometimes they go out for a couple of hours

The problem is that they have no respect for me, my kids, and 16F constantly steals from our home.

I don’t mind if they just didn’t want a relationship with me. But they constantly disrespect me, and insult me when I enter the room. They have insulted me for not working (i have a job but just recently had a baby), and make ‘jokes’ how i’m using their dad for money (I make more money him). I have two sons from a previous relationship (7M, and 9M) Which they insult because they think my sons are too dumb to understand what they are saying. Yet they understand clearly and are hurt by it. I have talked to my husband about this, and he says its all just jokes, and that he acted like that to his siblings. I have talked to them about it and they told their mom who argued with my husband about it.

16F also steals, she’ll say she’s going to the bathroom and then enter the bedroom and take some cash. I have caught her doing this multiple times. My husband will make her give it back then give her money from his own wallet. When I try to talk to her about it she tells her mom, who again argued with my husband. We have gotten locks for our rooms but she has just stolen other stuff instead.

My kids avoid going to the kitchen or living room when the girls are over, and i’m tired of being worried that something is missing. I told my husband that he could spend time with the girls outside the house, and if he brought them over i’d just take the kids and leave until they’re gone.

My husband called me childish, and my mom said its unfair to make him do that for me. AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/TeamContent8301 on 2023-09-20 20:35:45.

My wife is a stay at home mom and I work from home. My wife doesn’t drive so I pick up my oldest from school daily and bring them back home. We also have 2 kids too young for school.

When my oldest started, my wife and other 2 kids came along for drop off and pick up. After a few days, I said that everyone coming along for a school pickup drive is too overwhelming for me in the middle of the day of work and completely throws me off as I get out of my work mind state and go back into parenting/husband mode. For example, when I go alone, I stay in the work mindset and think to myself about what I was working on and can get back on track faster and also get to relax and listen to my own music. Most of the time I go alone I also bring my work computer and work while waiting. I absolutely cannot do this when other people are in the car as it is entirely too distracting.

While I understand my wife’s PoV that she wants to be there too for our oldest and it is a fun thing to do, we got into a huge argument when I said we cannot be doing this every day for the above reasons. Her parents are in town now from Mexico and she also want to come along too for a couple of times. I’m rightfully fucking annoyed at this point as now it is even more time away and more corralling and getting everyone ready. I’m currently biting my tongue as I don’t want to say anything in front of her parents to make them feel bad.

IMO my ability to get away from work to quickly pick up and bring my oldest home is a luxury and priority should be getting them home safely and as quick as possible so that I can get back to work and finish at a decent time. She does not understand this and is more focused on the experience for her and now her parents. I am currently sitting here typing this annoyed as fuck bringing 4 additional people on a car ride that honestly are not required to be present for the task. AITA?

Edit: She has her license after I convinced her this summer but she does not feel comfortable or confident enough driving with the kids in the car yet, which IMO is completely reasonable and likely a smart choice.

As for those saying I need to be in dad mode, I am once my kid is in the car and that is my 15 minute break. I ask them how their day was, what they did today, what they learned, etc on the drive home. However, the issue is the additional 20-ish minutes of waiting before then and during the drive.

As for the bus, my wife had some extremely fucked up experiences on the bus growing up, which is why we go this route. I fully support the no bus route with how terrible kids are with near zero supervision.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/dramamagnetwishnot on 2023-09-20 19:51:23.

For some quick context. I (15f soon to be 16f) dont have much contact w my extended family. I was never close due to me being the only child my age in the family. So during family gatherings like Christmas and birthdays im forgotten a lot but ive gotten used to it.

So my birthday is coming up and as a lot if people know 16 is usually a really big milestone in someones life. Im not from the US so im not getting a sweet16 obviously. But i would still love to have my whole family there. So last week my aunt (42f) brought up how i am planning on having cake at my house for my birthday.

(i wont bore you with details but) the conversation somehow went from my birthday to how her daughter (7f) was so excited especially for the cake. She said how she was going to make a bunch of fall related treats such as a bunch of orange flavoured food. My aunt knows that i am allergic to oranges and i get sick when i smell them or get dizzy. I reminded her of this and she brushes it off saying how i dont have to eat them and how it shouldn't affect me much. She then went on to bring up how her daughter loved to blow out candles and that she can't wait to get photos. I assured her my parents will get enough pictures of me blowing MY candles out. She then corrected me saying that she can just relight them for her daughter to blow out anyway.

Thats when i told her that its my birthday and that not everything revolves around her daughter and how she can easily have her own cake at her own house with HER own candles. I then walked out but i keeo getting messages from my family and cousins how i was rude and it was unnecessary to day what i said to my aunt. whick note i know i blew up on her fast but i have extremely short temper and i have put up with thus woman for too long.so AITA? if necessary i will give an update.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/EtOHMartini on 2023-09-20 19:45:30.

My family spent a week in an AirBNB in Europe. After leaving that apartment and continuing our vacation, we got the "leave a review" email so I was honest: great location, nice host, shower did not drain, and I felt stray voltage when using the washer and dishwasher. While running the dishwasher on the last day, I got a painful shock. Not a tingle. Not static electricity. A real zap. Some of the outlets were not properly secured to the wall, so they moved when plugging in or removing devices.

Fast forward a few hours and I get a canned response from AirBNB regarding safety issues and the owner asked me about the issues (I mentioned them to him before we left) because AirBNB flagged this unit and cancelled pending bookings until he got an electrician to certify the safety of the appliances. Owner gave me grief for costing him so much money and inconveniencing people like me who were on holiday.

AITA for mentioning the safety issues?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Fancy_Technology2774 on 2023-09-20 18:40:15.

I(m26) started dating my gf (f27) two years ago and now we also living together from last 4 5 months. So yesterday was my gf's birthday and i did small celebration for her at midnight. I bought cake, bouquet and small gift for her(apple watch) and everything went nicely. I also had dinner planned in my head but my gf's very close friend was in the city so she asked me if we both can go for birthday dinner with her 3 friends. I happily accepted because it was her birthday.

In evening we had her birthday dinner and her friends had also brought cake and balloons for her again celebration went pretty nicely. After dinner waiter came up with bill and handed it to my gf and she paid for it. After saying goodbyes to everyone when we were in car my gf said something really weird(out of her character) that I should have payed the bill in restaurant it would have made really good impression about me in front of her friends because (I make 2-3 time more than her). Not gonna lie but it was hurtful to hear that so I said my friends frequently spends time at our place so you should do more chores/cooking around our house in front of them so it would make really good impression of you too.

As you can guess this made her upset and remaining night was not good. So was I in the wrong to make that comparison.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Neat_Relief9406 on 2023-09-20 18:35:52.

My Dad (39) won't acknowledge his son (16). I am 19 and have been told my entire life not to mention my brother to anybody by my Dad and other family members. We haven't had a relationship up until about two years ago where we bumped into each other by coincidence and he approached me (as his Mum had only told him a few months prior). Over the last two years we have been seeing each other and building a relationship. My dad knows but not to the extent of how close mine and my brothers relationship is. My Dad lives 60 miles away from me whereas my brother lives round the corner. I have no doubt in my mind he is my brother as he looks exactly the same and my Dad refused a DNA test 16 years ago and has since married and had another child. His current wife doesn’t know about the child hence why I have always been told not to mention it. My Dad also coincidentally ran into him too, and decided not to acknowledge him. I asked questions about how he felt about it to which he gave a response of ‘it was weird’. He is actively trying for another child but in my mind I don't think it's fair for him to have another without acknowledging the 16 year old he already has. I want to do a DNA test with him to prove what I already know is right. AITA?

Edit: Not in U.S. 16 year olds mother chose not to pursue legal redress at any stage.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwwRAA232 on 2023-09-20 18:26:34.

I just celebrated my birthday a few weeks ago, and my husband celebrated by getting me cake, flowers a card and surprise visits from my family. I was grateful, but I would've loved for him to ask me what gift I wanted for my birthday, or gotten me something off of my wishlist. He knows I love jewelry. For Christmas last year he got me a perfume and boots. It's really only on birthdays he slacks off because this is the second birthday he gets me just that. I know birthdays are important to him because he was super touched when he saw his birthday set up and told me what he wanted as a gift. So it's simple. He knows birthdays are important and a great time to give gifts.

I've been needing a new water bottle but he said he went and didn't find any. And I guess he opted out of a gift entirely. Kinda messed up considering I asked him what he wanted for his birthday, and got him one of what he said he needed, tix to a movie he's been wanting to see, on top of a birthday cake and card.

I went to the store to find a water bottle myself and I ended up finding a beautiful pair of shoes at an extremely discounted price. I already have a pair but they're super cheap and low quality, and thus super uncomfortable. I couldn't find anything better so I settled for them. Also I'm not super in love with them. My husband didn't know this but I would have told him had he asked. Also he was there with me when I bought them and he knows they're cheap.

I knew I'd miss out if I didn't get them so I brought them home and told him I got myself a birthday present. When he asked why I said "because if I didn't get them I'll never see them again!" What I really wanted to say was: "had you asked me I would've said I wanted a nice comfy pair of slip ons!" He then told me I should be saving money, but that if they make me happy it's fine. Lol. I do save money for the record. And we are in no way struggling. We split all of our bills.

For those who I know will ask: I didn't feel comfortable asking him to get me a birthday gift because I honestly thought that a first year of husband and wife he would get me a gift. It's my fault for assuming this but it makes no sense. It makes me feel like he isn't generous, he gives the absolute bare minimum and wants me to just be happy with that. And I can't be. I don't know how to be. I go above and beyond for him. Why can't he do the same?!

Edit: we are not saving money for anything in specific. He just meant we should be saving our money as in putting it into savings. Well I just sent $2,200 into my savings last wk and I never buy treat myself to ANYTHING but takeout so I told him to put a sock in it. (Not literally obviously but that's what I wanted to say)

Edit: The shoes were $34 in case you were wondering.

INFO: For his birthday last year I got him the cologne of his dreams, and a trip to a nice spa, and cake. For Christmas I got him a pair of long sleeve shirts from his favorite brand. For his birthday this year, I got him a nice pack of boxers (because his were super old and worn out and he specifically said he wanted them!!!!) and movie tickets along with a cake and decorations.

Edit: he had options besides a water bottle. He could've bought me panties as well, which I also need, which he knows because he's reminded me to purchase them myself. lol. He knows what I have and what I don't. He knows every item in my closet and what I like and what I don't. I have one pair of mom jeans, he knows I'd love another pair. I could go on. There's no reason to just not get anything.

Edit: I don't consider the celebration a gift. It's super sweet but I just don't consider it a gift. I got him a celebration on TOP of a gift. That's just normal birthday stuff to me.

Edit: I just realized that he gifted me something he values. Time with family. He doesn't have his family nearby and I know he would've wanted to spend time with them. I do value family time but not as much as him, so thought this IS sentimental, I think he was thinking more of what he'd like for his birthday.

More info: for those asking my family lives nearby, they don't have to fly out to see me. His would have to, though.

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/squibiloma on 2023-09-20 18:18:06.

My (25M) grandpa (67M) called me yesterday and “accidentally” spilled the beans that he knocked up his gf/fwb/whatever. Today he called asking for $500 so he could pay for her surgery because apparently the pregnancy is ectopic.

I refused, I told him I didn’t have $500 (I have $500, but not for that) and to talk to my dad (his son, me and my dad haven’t spoken almost a year after I came out to him although my grandpa doesn’t know this) instead. He asked me not to breathe a word to anyone, especially my dad, especially because they’re in a fight at the moment (as always).

As a bit of a context, my grandpa is a gambling addict and has asked for money before when I was much younger, my grandparents have been divorced for a long time, and while I believe he knocked his gf up I think he’s just looking for abortion money and doesn’t want to deal with the fallout if he were to tell his kids about it (which would be quite major). I do feel bad that his gf is going through this, but I also wonder what hopeless tragedy young enough to get pregnant decided to put out for him. AITA?

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Dear_Offer326 on 2023-09-20 19:12:15.

Title sounds weird? I'll explain. So my dad is engaged to a woman, Ruth. Ruth has an almost 5 year old daughter Laci. Their wedding is planned for January and ever since Ruth and Laci moved in with us (dad and me) and Laci and I have been forced to share a room because it's a two bedroom house, Laci has become obsessed with me. She thinks I'm the coolest person and she always wants to be around me. So Ruth came up with this idea of having sibling moments during the wedding where we embrace each other as true sisters for the first time. She mentioned it to Laci before either her or my dad mentioned it to me. So Laci was really excited and happy.

But I'm not comfortable with the idea. I don't want to hold her during a family unity ceremony is performed, I don't want to do a special sister dance where the spotlight is on us, and I don't want to make promises that I'm not sure I would keep. The promises were already printed out by Ruth and she showed me what I would need to say. It's basically I will always answer her calls, always call her my sister from that day forward, that I will be there for her and chase away the bullies and show her how to do things. It's not that I'm opposed to us being closer at all. But I won't be going out of my way to come home from college just to be there more with Laci. I might not even stay at my dad's when I do because I don't want to share with Laci. I already hate doing it now.

I expressed that I didn't want to do those things during the wedding and Ruth was furious. My dad was like it would be so sweet and would be super cute to look back on when watching the wedding videos. Ruth was saying how excited Laci now is and how I would crush her heart and soul and stomp on them if I refuse to do it. She even claimed Laci was saying how excited she was to have me as a sister forever and that she wants me to be her protector. Not sure I buy a 4 year old saying all that.

Ever since I said I didn't want to do those things I have been under a lot of pressure to give in and Ruth has been accusing me of rejecting Laci and refusing to have anything to do with her. That's not what this is but I don't love Laci right now and I don't know that I will be playing the big sister role. It might be more like cousins because honestly I will be moving out as soon as I'm 18 to get a little more space. But this whole thing is starting to get to me.

AITA?