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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ForsakenSink6516 on 2023-09-19 10:32:13.

Hello,

This is going to come across as a bit of a rant but I can't help myself. I'm going to start from the start. My sister and I are our parents (m(62), f(59)) only children. My father went to Harvard, and my mother attended Johns Hopkins and works as a pediatrician. I work in the tech industry, and graduated from MIT with a degree in comp-sci.

Meanwhile my sister got pregnant at 20 (they got married at 18), and kept the child, despite our parents saying they would pay for the abortion. My parents stopped paying for her education after that, and for lack of better terms, left her to her own devices. She dropped out, and her husband continued, getting his bachelors in comp-sci 1 year later.

8 years removed from this, I work at a top tech company. I live alone and make over 6 figures. My family have all reconciled, and my sister and her husband have moved back for his work. During dinner last night, the conversation shifted to what their life was like while we were estranged, and my sister brought up how tough it was on their own, but they made it work. During this, they brought up her husbands degrees, and my father and I chuckled when she mentioned he'd gotten his masters degree in comp-sci, as he'd gotten it from one of the worst schools, and got his MBA from an online university, so essentially both were papermills.

Talks then went on to how much he was making, where he mentioned he was set to make over 300k. When hearing this, I was in shock and told him to prove it, to which he asked "why, don't you believe me", and both my father and I both said no. This clearly insulted him a bit and he said he had nothing to prove. We then went back and forth until he said something about half the cost (regarding his degree cost to mine) and double the reward (in regard to his salary to mine, I'd shared my salary with my sister earlier in the year, guess she'd told him). This caused a bit more disagreement, with my father and mother defending me, until they had to go back home as their baby sitter (f 20) had classes the next day.

On their way home, my sister sent me a screenshot of his salary, and told me how disappointed she was in myself and our parents for how we'd acted. I then sent her an angry voice message about why she wouldn't tell me about this earlier, and how she should have defended me because anyone would be in shock with all the facts. She then responded saying my parents and I were bitter because he was more successful than us at a younger age. I then told her to not come to my parents house until both she and her husband apologized. I decided to stay at my parents house for the night as I didnt bring a car, and didn't feel safe walking or calling a taxi late at night. As I was sitting with my parents, my mother then says we were all too hard on them, and he had good reason to be a little boastful considering how we'd treated them. My father and I strongly disagree, as we believe he should have been more respectful all things considered. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Dependent_Compote528 on 2023-09-19 01:07:04.

TL;DR: AITA for asking my MOH to be a bridesmaid instead of MOH since her pregnant sister is due around my wedding and she said she’d attend the birth over the wedding if it came down to it?

I’m (30 F) getting married in early April. I don’t have any sisters so I decided my maid of honor would be my longtime best friend “Sarah”. I’ve been engaged for over a year and Sarah was so excited to help with wedding planning and cried when I asked her to be MOH. I’ve been planning to put her in a different shade of dress than my other bridesmaids so she could stand out. She already got her dress but my other bridesmaids didn’t.

Recently, Sarah’s sister “Jess” announced she’s pregnant and due a week after my wedding. Sarah and her family are understandably extremely excited as this is her first niece/nephew. I’m excited for them! They live locally and are a close family. Sarah told me in a casual way that Jess will likely be induced a week early due to a history of medical conditions and since my wedding is on a Friday and her doctor doesn’t usually do inductions on weekends, the birth could very well fall on my wedding day. Then she told me that, if that happens, she’ll have to attend the birth and not my wedding. She probably won’t be allowed in the delivery room as her sister is allowed two support people per hospital policy and will have her husband and mom, but Jess told her if they’d allow a third person, she’d be happy to have Sarah there as well, so now Sarah wants to camp out at the hospital in case that happened. I asked her if she’d consider just coming for my ceremony even if the birth fell on that day and she very firmly said no, she’s staying at the hospital even if she’s just in the waiting room. Then she laughed and said “honestly, even if the baby is born before, I don’t know if I’ll be up to attending a wedding” because she won’t want to leave the baby. I know her and Jess are close, but I doubt they’ll want her there the whole time. But that’s none of my business.

I really want a maid of honor so I’m thinking of asking Sarah to be a bridesmaid and putting my other friend as MOH. That way, if Sarah doesn’t attend I can still have a MOH. I know Sarah already paid for the dress so I would insist on paying for the new one. I broached it gently and she seemed really hurt so I ended the conversation but I’m thinking of bringing it up again. She says I don’t understand because I’m an only child and won’t be an aunt, which stung. I’m not trying to be unreasonable and I get that babies are exciting. I’m excited for her. And if her sister just happened to go into labor, I’d honestly probably be understanding. But it just feels like she’s planning not to attend my wedding.

I’m trying to be understanding; I don’t want to be a bridezilla. But this really hurts me. I know my wedding isn’t as important to everyone else as it is to me and I know that family comes first. But her nonchalant attitude about it is making me feel like she really doesn’t care.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/RepresentativeCat890 on 2023-09-19 09:10:15.

About a month ago, a friend of mine borrowed some money from me. For context, in my country we use cash for 90% of transactions. He said he was getting paid in 2 days, and he would return it then. Sure, he came to my place to get it. On the day he was supposed to come back with it, he said he finished work late. The next morning he said he left for work earlier than usual. It was reason after reason for about 3 days, then I stopped asking, trusting that he'd come with it. I didn't need it immediately.

The next week he stopped responding to my "hi" messages. Until I called then he said he'd come with the money later that day, he didn't show up. The next day I called again and he said he would send it to me, i preferred cash but I just told him to send. He didn't. When I called him to ask for help with something, my number had been blocked. This was 2 and a half weeks ago.

3 days after, he texted me and told me he'd just gotten home from hospital, and he had the money on him. I told him to bring it home or send it over the phone, nothing until now. My calls are still blocked and he ignores my messages. So yesterday I went to the police station to ask if there was anything I could do, and they offered to help even though they don't deal with such issues. They called him and asked him to come over.

Now he's blowing up my phone and calling me cruel, and saying he's been busy with work that's why he hasn't returned the money. He's saying that I'm horrible for treating him like a thief and there's no way he wouldn't have returned my money. A part of me feels really bad because we were so close before this, but at the same time I feel he was trying to take advantage of me.

So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/PimpleyPete on 2023-09-19 06:33:14.

I (40m) and my siblings, John (31m), and May(26f) lost our dad fairly young.

My mom was by no means a bad mom. She was stubborn.

She hated doctors. Because of that, she never went and relied more on a herbal remedy approach. Ultimately, her state worsened that she entered into a point where she could not do basic tasks for herself. This happened when May was 12ish.

She was home schooled for some time because mom needed help and an in-home caregiver wasn't affordable.

I guess she was doing awful in school, because when May went back to public school she was immediately held back. To graduate on time, she was put in an alternative learning program in high school. Her chances of getting into a nice college plummeted after that.

May continued to struggle with school and almost didn't graduate.

She did not do any sports or clubs.

Now at 26, May is a community college, earning her Associate's. She has expressed embarrassment to John and I about this, usually adding in she wished she had tried harder in high school and went to a nice college.

John is supportive, and will comfort her with things like, 'you tried you're best while suffering from caregiver burnout', etc. I'm quiet on the matter, generally. I am not one for pitying people, even if that's what they want. Do I wish May had tried harder? Yes. But it is, what it is. I wanted to keep it like that until she brought it up again. She asked me about it and I was honest with her. I said she should have tried harder, yes, and while it was more of a challenge on her to help our mom, she could have made better plans when it came to cares and studying (Ex: She could have studied after bathing and putting mom to bed).

She agreed, but John flipped out on me later via text, saying May was depressed asf those years and I had no idea what she went through.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Sensitive_R on 2023-09-19 05:45:51.

My wife and I have been married for many years, but before we got married, I had built up a substantial wealth. When we got married, I opted for a prenuptial agreement and complete separation of assets. She also had a significant pre-marital wealth.

Besides the house we currently live in, I still own a beautiful apartment in the same city that I usually rent out, but it's currently vacant.

Over the past two years, we've had many discussions about moving to a smaller town and getting a house near the beach. Two months ago, we bought the house for our upcoming move. We've already made the renovations we wanted, bought furniture, and will be moving into the new house soon.

Since we won't be living in this city anymore, I didn't see a reason to keep the house we currently live in and sold it without notifying my wife. Considering it's solely my asset, I didn't see the need to inform her in advance. Plus, selling and buying property is always a stressful process.

On the day I finalized the sale, I told her that I had sold the house, and she was furious with me for not letting her know. She mentioned that she still needs a residence in this city and intends to come here frequently. I explained to her that I still have the apartment, which we can use whenever we need to be in the city, so there shouldn't be an issue.

She remains upset with me, claiming that I didn't treat her like a wife by not involving her in such an important decision. On the other hand, I believe I didn't leave her without an address in the city, and the house was always exclusively my asset, just as she has her own wealth. She argues that it's a completely different situation because it's the house we've been living in, and we're moving in the next few days.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/IndependentMonth1517 on 2023-09-19 04:55:05.

I have a 20yo son Drew that I had with a girlfriend. If I could had kept Drew and not his mom then I'd do that. She's basically a broke ass artist. I agreed to a generous arrangement that allowed her to stay in a nice part of town but my financial help would end once Drew hit 19.

The point was for her to get her life in order and not to live off my child support. The day after Drew turned 18, I had my lawyer send her a letter notifying her that my child support payments were ending in one year.

She freaked out. She's done nothing over the last 13 years. She actually asked me to buy her a house. I told her to fuck off. Her dumbass could had bought a house with my child support but she insisted on renting.

She told Drew I was putting her on the street and he got mad. He said im rich so why can't I just buy his mom a house? I said okay. I'll give her YOUR college money. Come back to me in a month and tell me if you want me to help her dumbass out now that you know where the money is coming out of.

So now he and his mom are fighting over money. I do feel bad but they're not bugging me over it. And I don't give a fuck where my ex lives may it be in a mansion or a tent. She can go sell her doll artwork on the street corner.

Regarding Drew, oh I love that kid but his mom instilled a sense of entitlement in him that was bound to clash with me. I have two younger boys to worry about.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Kangerlu on 2023-09-19 03:10:48.

Our young teen son is supposed to pack his bag for afterschool sports. I drive to pick him up to take him to sports practice. Well, he didn't pack a towel which is a necessity (pool sport). Spouse wanted to put in a hot pink hooded towel with a large unicorn on it (from another child's younger years) as a lesson in "this is what happens if you don't pack your bag". I was in a hurry and stressed...gave spouse an earful about not helpful and made him go get another towel...our son is still finding his footing socially, so I was being protective and worried this would lead to him being made fun of at practice. AITA and should have let my spouse prank our kid?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/arrusureaboutthat on 2023-09-19 02:52:51.

I was shopping at Walmart, looking for a plastic bag for a single onion. I ran across the flower display and saw a set of roses that I thought were beautiful together and I wanted my wife to have them. Later that night, I was told that "I brought her homework" because now she has to do something with them to make them presentable (adding an element that makes them presentable)i.e. baby's breath, greenery etc. It sounded like "either go to a florist or don't bother buying me cheap flowers" Are cheap flowers a no-no? (Fyi...Married 19 years)

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Extreme_Giraffe_9954 on 2023-09-19 03:25:38.

I married my husband last year. After what felt like an eternity I got pregnant. We were trying and not succeeding and his family knew that. I cried a lot about it and skipped out on things because I got really depressed because it was not happening. (I have an ovulation issue and have been told it would be almost impossible to get pregnant). My husbands oldest sister named her child after my husband(first name) and now his youngest sister who got pregnant unintentionally wants to use the other name(middle name). I have made it clear that I was going to use the name. The oldest sister doesn't understand why I am upset as it a "family name". My husband is the only one in the family with that name. My husbands oldest sister also named her first child after their dad who has family name it goes back at least 4 generations that I know of. I do not feel my husbands name is a "family name" I think that family names go back generations your sibling is not generations. I also am upset that my husbands mom told me I was stealing the youngest daughters thunder as she is due a few days before me. (the same daughter that wanted to wear a wedding dress to my wedding) Again I got pregnant intentionally she did not. So am I the Ahole for being upset here? I know I cannot control what others name their child but I told them I was doing it.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Midwestman_23 on 2023-09-19 01:48:48.

My sister 33 (F) hasn't been in my life or anyone in our families lives for over 10 years. She hasn't let any family speak to her or her children (4 boys) in that time. She is extremely narcissistic, lies, and steals from everyone she's ever been in contact with. She moved across country and cut off everyone including our parents.

Now the state is reaching out as 1 of her 4 boys has been taken away. My nephew is 13 almost 14 and has been through a lot due to what my sister has put them through (many partners, homelessness, bouncing from house to house, not having them in school, drug use, and God knows what else).

My dilemma is I don't know what lies have been drilled into this child's head over the last 10 plus years. I personally haven't seen this child since he was 2 or 3 years old. I don't know what kind of psychological, emotional, and educational issues he has due to his poor upbringing.

To add to that I'm recently married, expecting my first child, and busy with my own life with my wife and soon to be child.

AITA for not wanting to take my nephew in with all the unknowns especially since he really doesn't know me?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Organic_Helicopter83 on 2023-09-19 01:56:17.

My (F32) am married to my husband (M30) and we have 3 young children together. We have been married for 3 years, together for 3 years before that. He’s a wonderful husband and father, provides everything we need, never tells me no, is involved with the kids, helps with household chores without being asked. I really couldn’t ask for more and I am so happy with him.

Before we met, My ex fiancé and I were together 6 years and he was my first love. We took a bit of a break when things got tough, we were young and didn’t know how to navigate. I always thought we would get back together, work things out and be happily ever after, like the Notebook or something. However, while we were in the break, he died of diabetic ketone acidosis. He didn’t take his insulin correctly, something I had always gotten onto him about and helped him manage. I was devastated, blamed myself for not being there, and it took me a few years to get over. I’m still in touch with his family, and they treat me like the daughter in law they never got, so that made it all the harder. When they cremated him, they gave me some of his ashes. I have kept them, as well as his favorite shirt. I have them in a little box with some pictures of us in my cedar chest.

My husband found out, and he’s uncomfortable with the fact I’ve kept the ashes and the shirt. He thinks I should have moved on, that I’m not some kind of widow, and that it’s like he’s second-choice. He doesn’t see why I’d keep the ashes and shirt if I wasn’t unhappy with him and stuck on this guy. I don’t see him as second-choice, I’m very happy with him, I just don’t feel like it’s right to throw someone’s remains away.

So, am I the asshole here for holding on to this “stuff” from my ex-fiancé?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/hidingintheshadows2 on 2023-09-19 02:46:14.

My girlfriend (24f) and I (25m) have been together for 8 months. She has been spending a lot of time at my house. I have a dog named Tato and he is a small wiener dog. I had him when I was going through a lot and he has always been there for me. I have never been ashamed to say that I consider him to be my best friend.

My girlfriend is more of a cat person, and she is not the biggest fan of Tato, but she knows how much he means to me so she learned to accept him.

I had to work yesterday and she asked me to stay at my house to work (she works from home), because her parents had guests over (she lives with her parents). So i of course said yes.

I take the bus to go to work, so when I was walking in my driveway, I saw from the window her KICKING MY LITTLE TEENY TATO IN THE STOMACH. I had never been so furious with everyone, I stormed in the house and screamed at her to get the FUCK out of my house and to never call me or talk to me ever again.

When I told my coworker, he told me that I overreacted and acted in a dick way. So, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Crafty_Peak_2853 on 2023-09-19 00:03:12.

We've been in a serious relationship, living together for a year and planned to have kids (both of us nearly 40). I know that camping nude is something she does often. In fact, we recently spent 10 days doing that in one very popular and crowded nudist beach in Greece.

As a woman, she has mostly male friends. I was about to go on a work trip and I found out she wanted, while I couldn't attend, to spend a week or so at that same place with a company of male friends (maybe also a girl friend of hers). In the end she didn't, though I urged her to go, though I felt uncomfortable with the idea but I didn't want to spoil it for her.

I really can't explain why, but I find it insulting that she'd do that. We talked about this and I explained that I'd personally wouldn't even think of asking the same from her, ie to have a few female friends and camp nude with them for a week, while in a relationship.

She errupted and found my point of view extremely conservative. When I asked if she'd be ok with sleeping in the same tent with one of her male friends, she said of course.

She attributed my reservations to patriarchy and clearly emotionally charged, said that it's her body and she'll decide who to show it to. I didn't have the chance to explain that of course it's her body, I claim no control over it. I just don't feel comfortable at all with either situation above. So, am I the ass here for being uncomfortable with something like that?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Impressive_Grab_3568 on 2023-09-19 01:23:56.

I29f have been married to my husband30 for a year and a half. I am in my starting years as an resident in the medical field and over the past 2 years I have witnessed how badly obesity affects your health and how there are woman with new born babies and their husbands out of breath or vise versa. My husband isn’t necessarily unhealthy but he is overweight, and we have had discussions of trying for a baby. I love my husband but he’s pushing 250. He eats horribly. He has issues bringing groceries in. I can’t do this alone and I need a healthy husband. I have been trying to take better care of myself and cook better meals for him or go to the gym whenever I can and have been encouraging my husband to do better but he has yet too.

I finally told him, to either begin working out or we will not be having a baby. I told him if I’m having a baby I need him to keep up with me, and that I will not do this alone. He got very upset and said that was so unfair to with hold from him and that he’d be a great dad despite his weight. I tried to explain I witness it all the time, and how he’d feel much better and he needs to feel energized with a baby and healthy, but he told me I was just being insulting, and rude. He accused me of being inconsiderate of his feelings because I know how badly he wants a baby.

I want a baby as well, but I need a healthy husband and a healthy support team. I have been encouraging him for years, and not just for a baby for himself. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Obvious_Promise_3483 on 2023-09-18 23:04:23.

I (f26) was born healthy and my twin "Amy" was born with a disability; that birth guilt really set the tone for our relationship. Our parents sucked, so I spent our childhood trying to protect us both, mostly failing. We only had each other, which because of her limitations and volatility meant Amy only had me to rely on and I had no one.

I've walked on eggshells our whole lives to avoid setting Amy off and always given into her demands to keep her happy. If I had something, it became hers; if she couldn't have it (e.g., friends, boyfriends), I couldn't either or she'd throw a fit.

As an adult she has gotten more subtle: rather than just demanding things, she will complain to make me guilty and then ask for something (usually money). I didn't notice the pattern of manipulation until my fiancé "Brian" (m30) pointed it out, because this is how it has always been.

Amy isn't too disabled to work, but she can't delay gratification. As soon as she gets her paycheck she spends it all on weed, anime stuff, clothes, and makeup.

She was evicted six months ago for non-payment of rent and got fired around the same time for reasons I still don't know. She had nowhere else to turn.

I took Amy in, telling Brian that this would only be until Amy got another job. Now, Amy has a job but is still here. She's not helping with rent, paying for her own groceries, gas, or anything else but always comes home with new shopping bags. On top of Amy overstaying her welcome, Brian has become uncomfortable because of how Amy treats me (constant insults, guilt trips, and much more). Amy doesn't treat anyone else like that, but knows she can get away with mistreating me (at least when Brian isn't there.)

Last week when I found out that Amy has been stealing money from me the whole time she's been staying with us (she admitted it when Brian and I confronted her, but offered no apologies--instead making it all my fault). Amy spent over $2000 of my money that she stole, and that's on top of the hundreds I've been paying (without getting so much as a "thank you") to keep her fed, clothed, etc.

On top of that, the next time I came home from work before Brian, Amy cornered me and said she isn't coming to our engagement party because 1) she feels like I "only care about" Brian now and not her because I've been spending so much time with him and 2) she can't afford anything to wear to the party because I told her she needs to start paying for her own groceries and contributing to rent (before the theft revelation). It was Amy's way of asking me to buy her an expensive dress to wear to the engagement party and punishing me for setting boundaries.

If I kick Amy out she will have nowhere to go. When I first told her she had to pay for her own groceries she said "I guess I'll starve" and part of me fears she will. But, my enabling Amy isn't fair to Brian either.

WIBTA if I told Amy that she has 1 month to either pay me back the $2000+ she stole and pay 1/3 of the rent or leave?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ThrowRAhypodad on 2023-09-18 19:40:05.

When I was 16, I had a crush on my friends cousin who was a junior in college. We just instantly clicked on every level and he is still the best person I know. Unfortunately when we tried dating, my dad found out and made a huge deal about him being in college and dating his "young" daughter from high school. I couldn't understand it as we were only 5 years apart and absolutely the same age maturity wise, but dad did not approve and apparently the cursing out / shaming tactics worked on him and he regretfully broke up with me. He said he was cursed out by my dad, called a groomer and that he is taking advantage of me and he do not want to feel like a creep. It broke my heart, but I guess I focused on finishing high school and moving the hell out, so I can be with him in college. Unfortunately by the time I went to college, he was with his girlfriend, who he stayed together all throughout college and so on, and yesterday was their wedding. I am not gonna lie, I congratulated him but I felt really sad by that because I feel that should have been me. I have never met another man like him and I am developing some unhealthy jealousy towards his now wife. But I am working through this and also have created some daddy issue due to my resentment towards my dad.

Now to the hypocrisy part. My younger brother who is in high school, came out like a year ago. My family was very supporting and celebrated his journey. Especially my dad, who in the past had said some homophobic remarks have really done a 180 and have been very supporting to my brother and is very protective of him, except who he dates. See my brother has dated few guys who are considerably older than he is and for some reason my dad is perfectly okay with it. The final straw for me was his latest date that he brought to the wedding. My brother is now dating a guy who is 31 (14 year old difference) and my dad took photos with them together all really happy. I just couldn't take it so when we got home, I exploded on my dad on how he could allow my brother to be in relationship with significantly older guy but had a problem with me dating a few years older. He says that my brother is a man and its different for daughters and I won't be able to understand. I asked if his older boyfriend is now not taking advantage of my brother and he said that I am being homophobic by questioning their relationship. I in reply said that he is overcompensating of his previous homophobia by condoning pe**philia now. Well he got angry and kicked me out and then told my brother about that. Now both of them are not speaking but I don't think I have said anything wrong here. AITA for saying this and How can I reach out to my brother and have him see my side in this ?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Embarrassed-Act3763 on 2023-09-18 22:31:02.

My brother has 2 kids Henry 17 and Aria 16. Henry is his wife's child and Aria is his affair partner's child.

While he is a good dad to Henry he is a terrible dad to Aria. He is the every other weekend dad who does the bare minimum. Unfortunately Aria has a terrible mom too so she spends most of her time at my home. I love expriencing new things like new food, new activities, going to new cities.... and Aria has started to enjoy these too so a few times a week we like to try something new. She also has an instagram page that she posts everything she does.

A few days ago my brother called me and said that Henry is upset that I never include him and asked if I could take Henry with me as well sometimes. That's when I lost it. I asked him if he seriously expects me to parent his son too while I basically had to adopt his daughter. I told him that frankly I don't care that Henry is feeling left out and I'm not going to include him in activities I do with my daughter.

He called me an asshole both for excluding Henry and refering to Aria as my daughter

Edit: why is everyone acting like I'm completely ignoring Henry? I spend time with him, I go to some of his important basketball games, I call him whenever I have time and I buy him nice gifts for birthdays and christmas. Last month was his birthday and I bought him an expensive pair of headphones. Do y'all do more than this for your nephews?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Calm_Produce_6526 on 2023-09-18 22:30:07.

Hi all— looking for judgement here. I (25F) and my husband (25M) just got in an argument which ended with him abruptly hanging up on me. Basically, I was just told by him that the trip which was supposed to be just his parents, has now turned into his parents & grandparents, and that them coming in Friday evening has now turned into them arriving Friday at 3 AM. My husband said he cannot take off work, and while I work from home (telework position), I cannot afford to take time to entertain them when they get in (which, while he said isn’t expected of me, is basically what’s going to end up happening.) So between them being there with only me and trying to entertain them, taking care of our 5 dogs, and also trying to work, it puts a lot of stress on my plate.

So with those things in mind, I basically told him that his parents have planned this trip for months and should have told us more than a week in advance about this so that we could be prepared and he could have taken Friday off. He got very defensive about his family and basically told me that he didn’t see the issue even though I’d explained it multiple times. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/BlooregardQKazoo_ on 2023-09-18 22:04:27.

Yesterday I 22F made dinner for myself, my brother and 2 roommates, 26-28M. It was supremely exhausting. Really delicious, but exhausting to make. I really hoped to have leftovers more than ever before because I didn’t even want to look at my stove—today I still don’t. Then my brother told me his girlfriend was coming over. I didn’t think anything of it, and they both start eating, which is fine. Everyone who wanted food was fed, and there was a lot left until they both decided to get seconds. That’s fine too, but at this point I’m just thinking, there is definitely enough for me to have a small portion for lunch to bring to work, and I’m content with that. I wake up today, ready to pack some for work, but all of it is gone, she ate the last of it, and her and my brother told me as much. They even left the plates in the sink despite me having done the dishes before going to bed.

I don’t really care about not having the leftovers; I dislike having to spend money on fast food and takeout, but I still can and will do it if I need to eat. What bothers me—and maybe this is a minor thing—is that she never reciprocates. Today she had the nerve to get annoyed with me for asking if she could add one thing to her DoorDash order for me, that I was going to Venmo her for. I do groceries for 4 because it’s 4 of us that live here, not 5. She comes over and eats more than half of what I make (my brother is also not innocent here), sometimes my roommates have to go without or go buy their own food because of her, and I’m supposed to just be okay with that… why? We go through our groceries quicker and I have to cook more when she’s here eating more than her fair share. I had to have McDonald’s for lunch at work (it’s the closest restaurant to my job that wouldn’t make me get points for being late) today and I don’t even know what for dinner because she just had to have a third plate last night, and she couldn’t even be bothered to get me a sandwich? Some fries? Anything???? That royally pissed me off, so I told my brother she can’t come here to help herself to my food anymore.

She feels bad now, and my brother argued, “But your cooking is good! And DoorDash is a lot of money, she shouldn’t be expected to spend it on you,” but groceries for 4 is also a lot of money that I’m spending on food that’s supposed to last, and cooking is a lot of work! How is it supposed to last if she comes around eating more than her fair share? And she does this often! Not even because she’s struggling for food or anything like that, she just likes my cooking. But I’m not a restaurant or a food pantry! I don’t actually expect her to buy me food, or do my groceries or anything like that, but the least she could do is be considerate of the people who actually live here and not eat a majority of our food nearly every time I cook.

AITA or am I just being selfish?

Edit: I didn’t think to mention it, I don’t cook for everyone just because. Everyone in the house contributes to groceries when they are able. Sometimes they even pay me to make something specific that they want. I wouldn’t cook for anyone that wasn’t contributing something, otherwise I wouldn’t be so mad about my brother’s gf doing it.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/kthrowaway244 on 2023-09-18 20:17:39.

Long story short, my parents hate my husband. But because I am their child, they accepted him “for my happiness.” Context, my mom was fine with him until my dad found out (I told my mom first).

It’s not like he’s a bad person. My parents just had someone else in mind. Anyways, my parents moved back to where we’re from while I stayed and I eventually met my husband. We’ve been dating since 19 and we kept our relationship secret from from my parents for years until he proposed to me.

Now I just gave birth to our first child and obviously my parents want to meet him. The thing is, they live nowhere near North America and the flight would be miserable. I hate flying in general but with a baby? I get anxious thinking about it.

I’ve put it off for a long time and even asked my parents if they could fly over (we’d pay for everything) but they said it was disrespectful for me to even ask. I’ve been stuck in a thing of “fine, we’ll come” and “no I can’t do this” and it’s affecting my whole life. My mom calls me twice a day just to remind me that I have to come and that she wants to see her grandbaby before he gets too big but I finally came to the conclusion that I can’t.

He’s a fussy baby and needs to be held by me a lot. He lets his dad hold him for a couple hours but then he won’t stop crying till I hold him. I can’t do that on a plane. And I’m terrified of the reaction we might get since he does make a lot of noise. If it was a smaller flight I could make do but it would be over 10 hours. I’m exhausted just thinking about it and then I have to deal with my parents and their passive aggressive comments right after.

I called my mom and told her that we won’t be coming. She got very angry and kept ranting about my husband keeping us away from them. She eventually said “forget it, we don’t want to see his child. Don’t call us again.”

My aunt (who I don’t talk to) said that she’s very upset with me and my mom has been so excited to see the baby but we crushed her. Apparently dad doesn’t want to see the baby but mom really does (but she refuses to travel without him) which is why she’s been pushing me so hard.

I feel bad because I know how much my mom adores babies and I get she’s in a tough spot but I can’t fly for over 10 hours with a 4 month old. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/DependentPen3347 on 2023-09-18 20:10:26.

Backstory, my father was an aggressive alcoholic, all my childhood memories with him are of him wanting things in our house and attacking my mother, I grew up in this environment and only freed myself when I turned 18 and moved out.

In any case, I cut off contact with him, my brothers still talk to him, it was my brothers who told me about our father's health condition, his liver is compromised and he will have to undergo a transplant.

My brother and sister were tested and cannot donate, I refused to take the test, I wouldn't donate even a strand of hair to him, let alone my liver.

My sister convinced me to visit him, my father was depressed, crying and asking for my help, he asked me for forgiveness for the past and promised me that things will be different now.

I stood my ground, I'm not going to donate and I'm not even going to forgive him for his past, my family has been calling me an asshole for not helping him, am I an asshole?

EDIT: some people asked me about my father's sobriety, I didn't include it in the post because I didn't see the need, according to my sister he has been sober for some time, he also needs to be sober for the surgery, but I can't say for sure about that and I can't even say if this is rehab or any positive sign.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/19829193 on 2023-09-18 18:39:12.

This is a throwaway account. I (25F) met my boyfriend (24M) at a party right after the pandemic. He was a friend of a friend and he immediately caught my eye. I walked up to him to introduce myself and tried to shake his hand. He immediately got uncomfortable and told me he had hyperhidrosis (an excessive sweating condition) so he couldn't shake my hand, apart from that he was friendly and so funny, we immediately clicked and I even got his number.

Later that night the friend in common told me he was super self-concious about his condition and about how he smelled because of it. We started chatting and went on a few dates, it was amazing, I had never met a guy like him and we always had so much fun together, he was kind, considerate and the kind of guy who my parents would love.

I could tell he was always nervous about his sweat and insisted on not getting to close to me. One day I asked him why he acted like that and he basically confessed to me he was scared I wouldn't like him because of his smell. That was completely false, I couldn't care less about how he smells, he's an amazing guy and at that point I already had feelings for him, his smell wouldn't change anything between us. I don't know what came over me but I completely lied and told him I had COVID earlier that year and I permanently lost all sense of smell, he immediately seemed to calm down and relax, I could tell that in the next dates he wasn't as nervous or self-concious.

When we became official I thought about telling him, but since I didn't mind AT ALL his smell (it isn't even that bad, it's mostly an insecurity he created in his own head) and he seemed comfortable I made an impulse decision to expand this lie to my whole family and friends. Now everyone thinks I can't smell at all, honestly life is the same because you don't even use smell that much, except my boyfriend isn't self-concious around me. I feel bad for not telling him, but I don't want him to go back to how he was before.

So, AITA for not telling my boyfriend of 3 years I haven't actually lost the ability to smell?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/iloveagoodapple on 2023-09-18 21:00:21.

I’ll be as brief as possible. I drive a bus. Every day, a man yells up at me to “please let him off” at the other side of a busy street that I guess he doesn’t want to cross (the bus stop is across the busy street and he walks back across the busy street to get wherever he is going). I tell him no every day. When this happens he tries to push the doors of the bus open to get out anyway and generally fails.

I don’t want to oblige when this guy tries to get out of the bus in an area that is not a bus stop. It will set an example that I do that for everyone and it also wastes the time of people correctly riding the bus. Am I being a nitpicky douche for not letting the guy out? Thanks

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Away_Abalone_748 on 2023-09-18 19:57:09.

Yesterday was my birthday and my boyfriend gifted me a Rolex. He has been hinting at it for a few months now, and I repeatedly told him that I did not want a watch as a gift again since I already have an Apple watch, and I never wore the watch he gifted me last year as it was too big and heavy and didn't match my style and other jewelries (I mostly wear yellow gold, and this was steel).

I told him straight up that I didn't like the gift, and he should return the watch to the jeweller and we can go pick out something I like together. I don't care for the Rolex brand and I don't care for watches. I don't even know why he got me a Rolex since he doesn't even have one himself.

He has been sulking ever since. Was I wrong?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Substantial-Ask-1418 on 2023-09-18 19:22:49.

My kid is a junior in highschool and she is a sweet kid. She has a best friend named Abby and they have been friends since preschool. It’s really cute how long they have been friends. They tease eachother all the time

Last week at school she had to go the principal on Friday because one of the teacher heard her call Abby a bitch. It was in the context of her saying yesss bitch in agreement with her. Abby was brought in and it was explained that no bully was happening and it is a saying.

Well the school gave my kid a bully mark and a week detention for it. I went in and fought it today with the school board and Abby gave her own statement. I got an email today saying it was removed but it was pretty rude and ended with you can come to the school and not go above the principal if there is an issue. According to my wife there is gossip that I was a huge jerk at the school for fighting this.

So outside opinions