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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/DiligentDefinition33 on 2023-09-18 11:12:15.


I (27f) have chosen to walk down the aisle alone on my wedding day. The decision was made for two reasons. My dad died when I was 7 and he would be my number one choice if he were alive but he's not and two, my mom has made it perfectly clear that she would find it disrespectful to my stepdad if she walked me down the aisle and so would not do it. Given that both my parents are out and I don't want to ask my paternal grandparents to do too much, my grandma and I are already sharing a special dance, walking alone is what I feel the most comfortable doing.

I could ask my stepdad and even when I contemplated my decision, I knew he would want to do it. But it would make me sad to have him walk me instead of my dad if I'm honest. I think my stepdad is a good man and he has tried his very best to be a dad for me. But I didn't want a dad when I lost mine. I wanted my dad. Nobody else was ever going to be able to fill that role in my heart.

I asked my mom and stepdad if they would like to do a joint toast or two separate ones and whether they would like to walk down the aisle/dance to specific songs. While discussing this my stepdad asked who I would be walking with and I told him I was walking alone. He offered to do it and I said it was a lovely offer but I would walk alone. He pressed me on why and I said it felt like the best option. He said it would mean the world to him if he could do it, if just once he could feel like he's a real dad and not just second place to my dad. I told him I understood but it was not an option on the table.

He said he was already being shamed by having to watch me dance with my grandma when it should be a father/daughter dance. But to have everyone watch me walk alone when they know I have a stepdad is going to send a very big message.

I know people will ask about details on our relationship, etc. I met my stepdad when I was 9 and he married my mom when I was 10. He offered to adopt me and give me his last name and I turned him down five times in the 8 years I lived with them. He was married before my mom and he lost his wife and unborn baby in an accident. He was also made sterile by the same accident. He always longed to be a dad. We got along well but our relationship was always more to him than it was to me. Where he sees a daughter and wants a daughter, I see a good man and someone who is a great spouse to my mom and is good to me, but does not fill the father role he wants to emotionally for me. Physically, he did. But emotionally I never felt like he was my dad and everyone in our lives is aware that I feel as though I have one dad and my stepdad is my stepdad.

My mom and stepdad are not paying or contributing to the wedding in any way. My fiancé and I both have savings and we're putting those into the wedding. Though our wedding will be smallish since we want to prioritize other things.

My mom and stepdad say I am rude and heartless for turning down the offer. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/kupkakw182929 on 2023-09-18 07:34:25.


Hello so I'm (F15) the oldest sibling of 4 kids. (Liam and Ryan that are twins M13, Sarah F10 and Melanie F7). My father is a lawyer and my mom is a housewife. My mom lately has been super fixated about these social media channels of families and the clout they get and she also has been complaining a lot of how boring being a housewife is and that she plans on becoming an influencer. My mom asked me if I wanted to appear on her vids, I told her I didn't want to because I didn't feel comfortable abt it. It has been bothering me a bit since she's too insistent and always tries to include me in her videos. I also feel concerned because the internet is a harsh place and my siblings are too young to be so exposed here. I tried to warn my mom about this but she didn't pay attention to me.

Here's where I might be the AH. I was speaking with my dad and I brought the topic about my mom starting to upload videos of my siblings in social media. I didn't knew that my dad was oblivious of this, it seems like my mom was keeping it as a secret. My dad went to my mom and they started to fight about him not giving permission to post videos of my siblings on social media. My mom told him to "mind his own business" and that she doesn't need his permission since they are her kids too. They continued to fight and later my dad went to work.

My mother already knew that I was the one who told him, so she got mad at me and scolded me for also not minding my own business. Since that she has been giving me the silent treatment and has been ignoring me. AITA for "snitching" on her?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/hey-bby on 2023-09-18 06:44:24.


I (22F) live with 6 roommates who were my closest college friends. EM and I are the only ones in a relationship. I've been with my bf for 3 years but atm we're long-distance (6 hour flight away). Everyone else has never been in a relationship (not religious tho).

We moved in together last year; we all have private rooms and I have a private bathroom. We all had agreed on guest policies before signing the lease.

One year in, my roommates start getting bitter that EM and I have our boyfriends over. They limited our guests to twice a month even if it's for 1 hour (with 2 day notice) and they want us to coordinate our bfs so they don't feel like there's too much male presence (even tho they agreed that my bf was okay to visit before signing the lease).

I'm very okay with respecting boundaries and sticking to house rules. However, I start having a problem when they don't respect their own rules.

  • They have female and some male friends over all the time without any notice. They don't wait for permission.
  • When EM and I ask for permission (I ask MONTHS in advance) no one responds in the gc, then they blame us and say we didn't wait for permission (even tho its days and no response)
  • They call us out on smallest mess (one drop of oil on the stove), but they never cleanup and our living room is a mess. 2 of them smoke and their ground weed is all over the table for weeks.
  • They stay up until 3am almost every night even on school/exam days.
  • They blame me and EM for not hanging out but when we make plans, they skip it out last minute.
  • I asked 4 months in advance if my bf can stay over for 3 days in my room. They said yes but a year later, they said they didn't like having guys in the house and referred to my bf staying for 3 days. Idk why they said okay but held on resentment. Me and my bf are always out, dont make a mess.

Basically, EM and I agreed that it seems like they're blaming us on everything and taking out their stress on us. We're always willing to compromise but they always think they're in the right and not willing to compromise.

EM and I decided to move out within the next 2 months. Our lease is month to month so no problem there.

However, our roommates are calling us the AS since they have to find new roommates now (but doesn't affect anyone's rent). They're tryna guilt us since we're "friends."

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/LucidPurpleLife on 2023-09-18 04:09:23.


My husband & I went to see a movie tonight. The movie was rated R and with it being a Sunday night, we didn't think there would be a ton of people there.

When we got to our seats, there was only one other couple in there, and soon after, quite a few other people had shown up. There were two teen girls that sat in front of us, 4 teen boys that were seated two rows ahead, a couple other groups of people, and a few couples. Before the movie started, everyone was being really loud. The girls in front of us were on their phones, talking and laughing. The 4 boys were being obnoxious, making choking noises and such, then laughing like it was funny. The group to our right was talking loudly also. I ignored it all because the movie hadn't started yet.

Once the movie started, the girls in front of us, continued to be on their phones, talking and laughing. I said "Excuse me. We're trying to watch the movie." Then the boys two rows ahead, were still being loud, making noises and laughing. I yelled out, "Shut the fuck up! If you don't want to watch the movie, leave! Nobody thinks you're funny!"

After they initially laughed about me calling them out, it quieted down a little bit. It wasn't long before they were talking again. The girls in front of us resumed being on their phones, talking and laughing. I leaned forward and said to them, "why did you come to a movie if you don't want to watch it? You're on your phone and talking this whole time." One of the girls told me she wasn't. I told her, "yes, you are. I can see you. If you don't want to watch the movie, get the fuck out." I went back to trying to watch the movie.

With everyone talking and being disruptive, we decided to leave. Right before we got up to leave, I think I heard the girl in front of us crying. I didn't mean to make anyone cry, but come on. Going to the movies isn't fun anymore. No one can shut up and stay off their phones for an hour or two. So, AITA for making this girl cry?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ill-Research3290 on 2023-09-17 23:36:52.


My bf (23m) and I (23F) been together for 6 years. I always preferred short haircut on guys, and I don’t like long hair on guys because it just seems messy to me. My bf has known this since the beginning we’ve been together. Last year I wanted to dye my hair red, but my bf hates the color red and was urging me not to. Basically saying he wouldn’t be attracted to me if I dyed my hair red. I was disappointed, but he kept his hair short since that was my preference, so why wouldn’t I do the same for him. Well recently this year he’s been growing out his hair. I asked him when he was going to get a haircut, and he said he’s trying to grow out his hair a bit. I responded back “well don’t grow it out too long because you know how I feel about long hair on guys”. Months passed and his hair is way past his shoulders now. I personally think his hair is covering his handsome face, and it makes him look messy and not put together. I voiced to him again that I really preferred if he gets a haircut. He snapped at me saying it’s his hair, and he can do what he want which I responded back well I guess I’ll dye my hair red then. I only said that because I was upset with this double standard. He can whatever he wants to his hair, but I can’t?? Anyways that made him even more mad claiming it’s different. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Dapper-Yellow8180 on 2023-09-18 05:43:52.


My son is a freshman and his dad is telling me he wants to go to homecoming but it is 6-10 pm on my saturday (I get him fri night to sunday night). I only see him 4 days a month right now and he only sees his brother on the weekends because my ex took my older son away from me to go live with him when he wasn’t doing good in school with me…

So I told his dad no and said it isn’t fair to me or his brother to allow him to go and I can’t drive him there because it’s an hour each way so would be 4 hours of driving for me. His dad said he would give up the monday but I’d still only get him from sunday morning to monday evening which is less than my usual time. Well my son is throwing a fit now and his dad is telling me I don’t put my kids first, but it’s literally just a dance?

I barely see my son and I already up a lot of time for his football practice.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Wonderful-Window493 on 2023-09-18 03:57:47.


My girlfriend and I have been together for about 4 months. She’s always talked so highly of her friends so I was excited to meet them, it turns out they’re awful people. I met them yesterday for lunch and immediately they started teasing her for her degree choice calling it “basic” and they’ve “never imagined her in a relationship.” They then continued to leave in a few passive aggressive comments about her looks and lack of relationship experience.

My blood was boiling but she was just smiling the whole time and not reacting to these comments in any negative way. I didn’t want to ruin the meal so I bit my tongue, but I hate these people. Once we got back to her place I brought this up and she said “that’s just how they are, we poke fun at each other.”

Here’s where I might be the AH: I refused to let that slide because they obviously were not doing it as a joke they were just being rude. No one else poked fun at anyone but her. She got upset and told me to please stop saying mean things about her friends, they’ve been hanging out since middle school and I don’t know them like she does.

I kept insisting that I’m not being mean they are and she would never say any of those things to them. She was quiet for a moment and then asked me to please leave.

She hasn’t messaged me since.

AITA for telling my girlfriend the truth about her friends?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Dependent-Stand-8707 on 2023-09-18 06:16:37.


So me and my ex-wife have 4 kids (21m,20m,19m,14f). We got divorced back in 2015 because of her infidelity and did not end in good terms. She has always tried to put an image of herself as well put off but in reality she relies on a man who she doesn’t even love and only wants for money. Our youngest recently told us that she wanted to throw a party for her 15th birthday. My ex started looking into venues without telling me about it and after she found one she liked, she called me to say I had to put money in to pay for it. I obviously told her no because I had never agreed to it and me and my current wife had already planned to throw my daughter a separate party which did not include her. I suggested that she throw another separate party for her to celebrate on her own with her side of the family but she got mad and berated me for being a horrible father and not providing for our child. My daughter is mad at me for not paying for the venue and she wont speak to me. The last thing she said was that she didn’t want the stupid party me and my wife wanted to do. Im so confused and a bit upset at the fact that they got mad at me for something that I never consented to. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/OrdinaryStretch9017 on 2023-09-18 05:01:38.


Throwaway account because yes.

I (F20) have been dating "Adam" (M20) since we were 17. Ever since I have started dating Adam, his family is lovely and very kind to me. Except from Adam's pregnat sister "Saddie" (F23). For more context, I am latino. Saddie has shamelessly shown her disgust towards me. For example, she has called me things like "exotic looking", "lower class", "not fitting", she has told me how it is surprising that I'm pale considering my race, or a day she even said that people of my country looked like monkeys.

Adam's family planned a trip and he begged me to go with them. I was hesitant at first but then I decided to go. Everyone treated me kindly and were very welcoming, except from SIL, that seemed pissed off for the fact that I was here. Firstly we got to a restaurant, we ate breakfast and everything was going smoothly. Until Saddie began to speak. She started to do passive-aggresive comments that were obviously towards me. I didn't pay attention, my indifference clesrly got Saddie more pissed off and then she started to do more direct comments, regarding class and ethnicity.

I bit my tongue for the sake of peace. Bad idea, because Saddie continued with her BS comments. Nobody told her anything, not even my boyfriend. I was expecting Adam to stick up for me but he never did. At a point I took him to a more close place and asked him to please talk with his sister and put her a stop, that her comments were making me uncomfortable. Adam laughed at it and say I was being oversensitive, that Saddie was just hormonal because of her pregnancy.

More later, Saddie continued with her subtle insults and weird fixation for me. I snapped and told her to stfu and that she was being a total b*tch. Saddie got silent after that and began to cry cocodrile tears, MIL got angry and told me not to speak that way to her daughter. Adam also got annoyed and told me I had no rights to insult Saddie. I never felt more freaking humiliated in my life.

I told Adam that I've got enough and that I will be returning home. I gladly had few bucks with me so I called an uber and returned home safely. I haven't answered any of Adam's calls or text because I just don't feel like it.

So, reddit. AITA for calling my SIL a b*tch?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ill-Clue-8436 on 2023-09-17 22:08:19.


Sorry for any mispellings and the formatting.

I've (F17) never been close to my parents. I wasn't planned since both my parents had me when they were 18. My father always leave me clear that I was a mistake and that if i wasn't born he could have had a normal life for a 18-years-old (parties, dating, pursuing his career). My mother wasn't like this; but she's always been really cold and never showed me any kind of affection, but she cared about my well- being at least.

This made my upbringing extremely hard because I didn't even have any other familiar that could take care of me. This for obvious reasons fucked me up a lot. When i was 14 my parents divorced and almost instantly my dad meet this another woman "Lila" and they got engaged. After their split, i mostly stayed with my mom because when i went to my dad's it was so clear that nobody wanted me here and at least my mom was kind of more tolerant of me.

a year ago, my dad married Lila and they had a baby boy that they named "Alex". Alex was actually planned, this was clear since both my dad and Lila were really happy about it and adorned their home full of pics of Axel. They pucharsed a lot of toys for him, treated him with so much love. And this only fucked me up more and if i am honest, jealous to see how much my dad loved this kid but he never loved or treated me like that.

since my brother was born, i have stopped visiting my dad and stopped talking to him because now i feel much more pain. For some reason he has tried to make me go to his place to spend time and "bond" with Axel but i refuse everytime because seeing that kid really brings me so much pain. my dad has also even asked me to babysit the kid, which i also refused.

my mom has asked me why i haven't go to my dad's anymore, i hesitantly told her the truth and she told me that i should try to bond with the child since he's my only sibling and he's not at fault. I told her that i didn't want to and that i am not planning to bond with him or visit my father.

If I am 100% honest, i feel really bitter and salty towards the toddler. i know he's not at fault but i can't help it, i can't even see him in pics. I need to know if I am really being too overdramatic and the AH for feeling like this towards an innocent child. Bc i'm feeling really affected just by seeing how much they love and cherish him. I know that it's a kid and he deserves all the love and joy, but i would just prefer to stay away from him as much as i can.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Impressive_Many2425 on 2023-09-17 23:05:02.


English isn't my first language.

I (20F) have a half-brother (30M) from my father's first marriage. My parents divorced when I was 5. My brother and I were close and he stayed over at our house a lot until I was around 12 yo. After some personal stuff between him and my mom and work on his side we sadly drifted apart and maybe saw each other 1-2 times a year.

My brother called me last year telling me was getting 'engaged' (in our culture the grooms family goes to the brides home to ask for her hand in marriage from her family. It was about that) and said he really wanted me there. I was excited and agreed, hoping that this would be a good time to try and reconnect. My mom encouraged me to go, but she seemed upset that it was 'last minute' (he called me a week before) and asked if he planned on buying me a dress. I said I didn't need a dress because I already had one at home that would fit. She didn't say much more after that.

Afterwards our relationship became much better and we hung out more.

Where I'm from most couples get married before the actual wedding. My brother and his now-wife got married a week before their wedding and again, my mom asked me if my brother was going to buy me a dress. I said I didn't need a new one because I had one at home. She held her tongue but it was obvious she was annoyed and upset.

Then, the night before the wedding, my mom exploded over the dress thing. She said that she could overlook my brother not buying me a dress until now but she couldn't overlook the disrespect he was showing towards me as his sister by not buying one for his actual wedding. He did ask me if I wanted to go dress shopping. I declined since I had a dress at home. It was one I wore to my cousins wedding a few years back and it still fit me. I told her as much.

She said that she won't allow her daughter to be 'humiliated'. What would people think if I wore an 'inappropriate dress for the grooms sister'. I said I didn't care and that the dress was very much appropriate. She then said that my brother was treating me like a guest and how he never looked after me during all of this. I said that he always made me appointments for hair&makeup. My mother said I was blind to how my brother has been treating me because I've idolized him, that he only wants me there because he wants to keep up face with his wife and in-laws, showing them how 'great of a brother he is'. Then she took my keys and hid them away so I couldn't leave.

I didn't get my keys back so I had to call my brother and tell him I couldn't come to the wedding.

Ever since then I've been ignoring my mother. She's tried to talk to me and tell me she was sorry but that she only had my best interest in mind.

I don't really see the issue in how my brother was treating me. I was happy to rebuild our relationship. I don't know if I can forgive my mother for making me miss his wedding.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/GrandJeweler3398 on 2023-09-18 04:47:27.


My wife34f and I43m have two children together, ages 7 and 4. I work as an OBGYN, and my wife has been a SAHM mom since our youngest was born. I make very good money, so I’d always give my wife a good chunk to walk around with or do whatever with. She’ll go get her nails done, or hair, shopping. Pamper herself and I never minded. This year our youngest was capable of starting early head start vpk. Even though both kids have been at school, my wife continued to be a SAHM. I brought it up to her as we have a house cleaner so my wife isn’t busy cleaning, and I could afford an after school nanny, that she should start looking for a job.

My wife was furious when I suggested that, and said we live more then comfortably with my paychecks alone, that she shouldn’t have to give up her days to do unnecessary work. I tried to explain, as the kids age, and inflation rises, money will begin to get tight. Then I told her until she goes and looks for work I’d no longer be giving her money, and that it would be spent responsibly.

She was furious, accused me of being jealous of her “easy life,” and said i was being unreasonable and stingy. Our argument cooled off a few days later, but Friday I got paid and did not give my wife the money I usually do, and she exploded once again, saying how unfair I was being and how there was no real reason for her to work. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/West-Witness-300 on 2023-09-18 02:38:47.


I(20m) used to work part-time as a cashier at a grocery store when I was in high school. I'd occasionally get customers that would crack a couple of jokes with me, and I'd appreciate it, especially if I was having a stressful day or if I had had a lot of rude customers that day so whenever I go to grocery stores or restaurants, I almost always crack a joke with the cashier or servers. I do it when I'm paying, so i dont hold up the line, and because they probably just want to get their shift over as quickly as possible. My goal is to make their days a little better.

We were celebrating my dad's birthday today, and my family went out for dinner. As I was paying for my meal, I cracked a joke with the waitress. She smiled, and that was that. Afterwards, my stepbrother came up to me in the parking lot and told me I was just being annoying and that the servers don't want to hear any jokes and just want to get their shifts over with. He ranted at me for a couple minutes before calling me an asshole and going to his car.

It's making me think I am just being annoying, and they don't want to hear it. So, AITA for cracking a joke with our waitress?

Edit: Here's the joke.

what did the pillow say when it fell off the bed?

"Oh sheet!"

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Throwaway5612qwerty on 2023-09-18 00:39:42.


My (56F) daughter (21F) was home from college for a short break and we were looking forward to spending time together. Last year, the local historical society hosted an afternoon tea at one of the member’s house, which is from the 1800s, and I attended and really enjoyed it. We were allowed to tour to house, which was what I really enjoyed. They’d hired a catering service to make the tea and food that went along with it - finger sandwiches, custard tarts, etc. My daughter expressed interest in seeing the house and attending the tea with me, and this year it happened to fall on when she was home on break.

I asked her if she still wanted to go and she said yes. She is a very picky eater, always has been, despite my best efforts, so I warned her that they might not serve anything she wanted to eat at the tea. She said that was okay and she’d eat something before we left, which she did. We got to the house and did the tour—she absolutely loved it and took a genuine interest in hearing about the restoration efforts and the history of the house. When it came time for tea, she politely refused any tea that was offered and simply drank her water. She took a few bites of one of the sandwiches but it wasn’t to her taste so she simply set it down.

She was incredibly polite and didn’t raise a fuss over the food at all. She complimented the caterers on their hard work and held conversation with the other women at the table. When the lunch was over, she excused herself to go to the bathroom, and one of the women sitting nearby (60sF, part of the historical society committee) said it was rude of me to invite my daughter and her not eat anything. Another woman agreed and asked why I even brought her to the tea if she wasn’t going to drink any. I explained that she had wanted to see the house and it was a way for us to spend time together, but now I’m wondering if I had been wrong to bring her.

I am not upset with my daughter at all, I am just wondering if I should have found something else to do with her while she was home instead that wouldn’t have upset so many people.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ScheduleExtension819 on 2023-09-17 22:15:53.


My Husband and I had our first foster child placed with us four months ago. A 10 year old girl, it has been a lot of work but we're making a lot of progress with her and finally have her in a position where she feels safe and is willing to begin opening up with us.

Her therapist has suggested that we have her involved in activities with other children to help broaden her socialisation which we have been doing but an opportunity closer to home is coming up, My niece is having her 9th Birthday in a week and my sister has rented out an indoor play area for it. I reached out to my Sister asking if I could bring my Foster Daughter with me to the party so she could play and spend time with the other kids. I even offered to cover the extra cost of her food if money was a concern and if it had been somewhere that it was a price per child i'd have paid her entry fee too.

My sister wasn't into the idea at all, saying she wasn't comfortable with it as who knows what "Issues" my foster daughter could have and what if she caused any trouble on the day? and even if she didn't cause any trouble there was the fact this is my niece's day and what if the other parents and children were curious about who this new child was and began to ask a lot of questions. I was rather angry and shocked at this and how heartless she was being, she's met my Foster Daughter and it's not like she has ever caused any trouble before and it's just a horrible way to view a child.

I asked her what the hell was wrong with her and that if anyone was curious she could just say that it was a girl her sister was taking care of, there is no need to go into further detail. She told me that she isn't comfortable with it all the same and isn't going to change her mind. I was angry but not about to argue further on this matter and told her if that was how she felt it was her decision but I wouldn't be going either then as it's not right for me to go to a children's party while my foster daughter sits at home left out as what kind of message is that?

I told her i'd call my Niece on the day of her birthday and of course send a gift round but that i'd just tell her I was too busy to attend, my Sister is angry with me over this as i've never missed a single birthday for my Niece and i'm very close to her. She feels that this will really upset her daughter and she doesn't get why I can't just not tell my foster daughter where i'm going.

I honestly am conflicted over this and feel horrible that it will upset my niece but I don't want to lie as we're trying to build a foundation of trust and respect with our foster daughter. Is it wrong of me to not even do a flyby visit to say hello?

Edit: I should clarify that while my niece's friends are going it is also relatives and children within the family attending.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Downtown_Round_3356 on 2023-09-18 01:35:36.


My(15F) parents divorced when I was 3, my dad quickly remarried after that to my now step-mother, no kids between them, tho my Step-mom (whom I'll call ''Dora'') has a 16 y/o daughter (Sam) who quickly bonded with my dad because her bio dad has never been in the picture, he loves her and treats her as his own, but we're not close and we don't really like each other so anyway. She also lives primarily with my dad while I spend friday night to monday morning at his house and around 3-5 weeks during school break.

Now my paternal family is really outdoorsie, we like to do a bunch of things around that Sam is included and we just ignore each other during them while enjoying our time with others, however, my dad, grandad, aunt and I have a special treasure hunt we do around Christmas that it's really special to me. It's like the only real time I have with my dad because, while Sam is not as bitchy as some I've read here, she really likes to demand both my grandad and dad's attention and since they consider me ''tomboy-ish'' they kinda ignore me to coddle her which sucks.

My dad asked me around my 10th birthday if he could invite Sam and I said no. I've been saying no ever since and while he doesn't like it, he respects it, he does other stuff with her without me and I don't complain. This year, however, Sam is very adamant on going and I just don't want to, my dad is pressuring me to let her come as well as Dora, while my aunt and grandma are insisting he just leaves this thing untouched between us but my dad doesn't want to hurt ''his little girl's feelings''.

NGL, that stung o I said that if he really wants her there, then he doesn't have to pick me up for Christmas this year and to just leave me be. I called my mom to pick me up and my dad tried to console me and apologize because I was crying but I just asked him to leave me alone and got to the porch to wait. Sam and Dora insist that I'm and AH and I'm acting selfish but the way I see it it's not like that, this is the only real thing I have with my dad, I have to do everything else with him and Sam or else I get a nasty look. I get that dad loves her, I don't care, but why do I have to share the only thing I have?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Several-Inspector-37 on 2023-09-18 00:45:48.


I am father of 5 biological children and 1 adopted nephew. My 3 oldest children are adults in their 20's and have previously moved out. My youngest 2 are teenagers aged 16 and 14, and my nephew is 8. My in-laws also live with us. We have a 6-bedroom house so each of the kids have a bedroom, my wife and I have a bedroom, my in-laws have a bedroom, and we previously had a spare bedroom for my older children to stay in when they visit.

My oldest daughter moved to my home country at 18 to attend university there. She met and later married her husband, and they have an almost 4-year-old son together. Things went south in their relationship a few months ago. My daughter moved out with their son, and she was able to stay with my brother for the last few months.

A couple weeks ago she was able to leave the country to move back home with us. My 16-year-old daughter moved into the spare bedroom so we could turn her bedroom (that is bigger and has its own bathroom) into a room for my daughter and grandson to share.

The whole family pitched in to decorate to my daughter's taste and to create a nice area for her son with a small loft bed.

When she came, she was initially grateful, but she did express not being too fond of sharing a room with her son.

Last week she suggested that my nephew and grandson could share a room instead. I told her if she was staying in my home it would have to be in a shared room with her son. She mentioned it a few more times so I asked my nephew if he would like to share his room. His answer was that he didn't really want to, but said some nights grandson could have a sleepover in his room.

Last time my daughter brought up the boys sharing a room I was a little harsh with my tone and my wife thinks I was being an ass. My wife isn't completely on my side. She thinks I'm not being nice to our daughter who is going through a tough time right now and might need some space/privacy to adjust to her whole life/future changing. She doesn't see why the boys can't share as there's only a small age gap and our nephew would probably get used to sharing with his little cousin. Am I being the asshole thinking my daughter should keep sharing with her son?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Odd-Tumbleweed-1891 on 2023-09-17 21:56:51.


I've been a vegetarian all my life, its a cultural thing. I'm married to someone who is not from the same culture. I cook food that he likes which includes meat exclusively for him. We have some of my relatives who are also vegetarians since birth visiting us for 10 days. I requested my husband to not have us cook meat in the house while they are visiting just to ensure the guests are comfortable . He thinks I'm forcing things on him and not seeing the sacrifice im making by cooking meat for him everyday. Is it too much to ask to adjust for 10 days while I do the adjustment for him all year around.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/RevolutionaryGuess27 on 2023-09-18 01:27:14.


Let me explain myself a little bit. My girlfiend (18F) and I (19M) have been together for a year and a half. We are currently living at my father’s place.

I’m still in school and I work a lot (about 30 hours a week). My girlfriend quit school a while ago and doesn’t have a job. So I’ve been "providing" for the both of us and even though I would never admit it to her, it’s extremely hard and I am exhausted all the time. I try to tell her in the nicest way I could, that she could maybe start looking for a job to help me a little but everytime I bring it up she gets pissed off. She keeps telling me that she does a lot of chores in the house and it takes a lot of her time, but everytime I come home I find dirty dishes in the sink and piles of clothes next to the washing machine that needs to be clean and I end up doing all of it…

Anyway, recently she suffered an appendicitis and had to be hospitalized for 3 days. While the doctor was giving us an update, he asked her the reason she had stopped renewing her contraceptive pill 1 month ago. She turned red and kept looking away from me. She started stuttering and finally asked me to go and get her water.

When we got home, I was extremely pissed off because she always told me that I didn’t need to wear a condom because she was taking the pill. The reason I got so pissed off is because I don’t want to bring a baby into this world without knowing confidently that I can provide for him/her. Also, we are still so young, I’m still in school, and to be quite honest, I’m not ready to have a baby. She tried to explain herself by saying that she is home alone all day and that she tought that having a baby would give her a sort of purpose. So, now she has been crying for 2 days straight because of how mad I got (I just want to specify that I was only screaming, I would NEVER be physical with her).

I just want to know AITA for the way I reacted? Should I have just let it go?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/BeautifulHumor1842 on 2023-09-18 00:41:16.


I’ve been giving this one co-worker rides to work and back because it’s on my way. But lately she has been taking extra long to get ready and meet me. Our workplace is 20 minutes by car from her house and I got to her place 40 minutes before work. I called her two times and left a text. She said she’s coming down in “a few”. I waited for 20 minutes and left her a text again, she didn’t respond. So I drove to work and clocked just in time. She came to work an hour later and asked why I left her… I told her to not bother meeting me after her shift ends, i’n done. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Smart_External1366 on 2023-09-17 23:20:56.


I (38M) have been with my husband (31M) for 5 years. My husband ‘Elliot’ has always been a child at heart, he’s the type of guy who loves video games and such, and that’s something in common he has with my nephew ‘Jake’ (16M). Jake is my brother’s son. My brother and I aren’t that close, we don’t match well but still we try to not argue. Recently my niece had her birthday party and there was a pool. This pool was really big and around 8 feet in the deepest part. Jake, along with another nephew and two nieces (all teenagers) were playing around but sometimes they tend to play rough, so naturally their mother was telling them to stop or someone could get hurt.

At one moment my brother’s wife was annoyed, told Jake and the kids to stop it, but minutes later he decided that it would be fun and a good idea to throw my husband into the pool. Elliot was thrown to the deepest part, he knows how to swim but was in shock. He wasn’t expecting that, everyone thought it wasn’t big deal until he couldn’t make it out of the pool.

My other nephew and I got him out of the pool, he was disoriented but was mostly alright, besides the few bruises he got. I lost it and screamed at Jake, asked him if he was mentally compromised and told him that he was out of his mind. My brother eventually told me to cut it off, that everything was alright. I told my brother ‘tell your son to get out of my way, I don’t want to see him’, but that was it

Later at night my brother’s wife came to apologize, but my father and a few members of my family think that we’re making a big deal about it…

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/AtmosphereTop5830 on 2023-09-17 17:40:52.


My 10yo Alden is a pretty good kid. I know he's starting puberty and he's had emotional moments. Sometimes he'll have a bath over a shower and then ask me to stay with him to stay so we can chitchat.

Last night, Alden was calling me from the bathroom but I was outside cleaning out my car. My wife called Alden what he wanted. He said he wanted to play hangman with bathtub markers.

My wife misunderstood that he wanted to play hangman when he wanted to play hangman with me, not anyone else. She went upstairs and the minute Alden saw her coming to the bathroom, he quickly slammed door because he didn't want her to see him in all his glory.

My wife was angry and she was taking away all of his electronics for a week. When I came inside and my wife related this to me, I told her she was wrong. She should had announced that she was going to the bathroom and or asked if it was okay to come in. Yes, slamming the door was wrong too but she could had used common sense to avoid it.

At first she refused until I asked her what if this had happened to and it was our daughter (if we had one)? She apologized to Alden and a few hours later she told me she didn't mean the apology and it was not a hill worth dying on.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Delicious-Juice-2385 on 2023-09-17 23:24:03.


I (20F) am the maid of honor in my sister’s (32F) wedding in a few months. My reputation is known as being fun and upbeat and a little wild, and upholding that reputation landed me a MIP/MIC earlier this year, and since it was my first run-in with the law, it scared the shit out of me.

I turned my life around in a matter of a week or two. Got a good job (for a college student), picked up on my studies, prioritized myself, quit going out, and ditched all the people who only hung around me because of my in’s and popularity at bars/parties. Doing this has helped a lot of my depression IMMENSELY, because I know the people I hold close care about me for me, not for any other benefits.

My sister is already a little mad at me, because I got my MIP right before her bachelorette and I refused to use a fake ID to get into the 21+ events she had planned. She told me “well, we’ll make an exception for the wedding. My best dance partner can’t be sober”.

I recently got the terms of my probation/diversion, of which i sign tomorrow, and I will be subject to provide a urine/blood/breath sample at any point during my probationary period. It’s 6 months of behaving and then it’s off my record permanently, so I don’t want to risk anything that could land me in more trouble. Even if it’s random 2x a month, I could still test positive if I were to be tested the week after her wedding.

I broke this news to her, and explained that I wouldnt be able to drink, and she was visibly hurt. I don’t know why drinking is such a huge deal.She said that it’s just one night, and I can tell my future PO that I’ll be out of town and cannot be tested. I told her I don’t think it works that way. the other bridesmaids have told me I hurt her feelings and are saying I can sacrifice one night since it’ll be my sisters only (hopefully) wedding. My dad is on my side, my mom on the bridesmaids.

I just would like to put in my 6 months of good behavior and have this whole situation be over with, but I don’t want to be a damper at my sisters wedding, so AITA?

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This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/gfproblemsthrowaway2 on 2023-09-17 22:24:39.


This whole thing started with two of my best friends marrying each other. The friends Chris and Zara are from different religions and cultures. Zara has Indian muslim heritage. Me and Chris are both white English.

As they are planning their wedding I asked Zara why she's not having a big fat Indian wedding and getting married in the English way as I was excited to go to one. Zara explained that she chose the wedding venue to be the church as Chris grew up in the parish and that as muslim women couldn't marry out of the faith she thought having a huge Indian affair was superflous.

I asked her to explain and she said muslim women are not allowed to marry men outside of the faith and that she didn't want to do any pre-wedding rituals only to have a civil ceremony.

So far, so good right? Her wedding, her choice right. Now, my issue is that my fiancee is a Tamil Muslim woman as well. Our wedding is in December, we were thinking of having a New Year's eve wedding. And it's being done the traditional way.

I asked my fiancee Zee about this as I was confused about what Zara had said. And then she told me the truth. She said that Zara isn't wrong, that muslim women indeed cannot marry out of the faith and that the priests don't usually legalize such a ceremony. I asked her how are we getting married then since we're having a traditional "Nikah" ceremony.

And then she tells me the truth! Zee just says "Well you'll have to convert, but don't worry it's just for posterity's sake"? Lol what?

At this point I'm shocked. I have been lied to and basically being led to a farce in the name of marriage? And the worst part is that Zee was like "What's the big deal?". Apparently I just have to recite the religions prayer and then I'll become muslim in name and can marry her.

She wants me to then go around pretending it never happened (unless it's in front of her family of course).

Now this caused the worst fight of our lives. I told her she's basically cheating me by doing this not telling me beforehand. She still maintains that it's not a big deal. I ask her why couldn't we just had a civil ceremony instead of this. Zee says she didn't want to ruffle feathers in her family by doing this that me converting "for name's sake" at the Nikah was "easier". And now I've packed up my shit for the week and left home to live with a friend.

I haven't been picking up her calls. A few "strongly worded" text messages were exchanged.

Zara has been telling me that I should give it another chance as her family might be very strict and she might find it difficult to stand up to them and that basically ghosting Zee and flying off the handle on her was wrong. Although she does admit that lying to me wasn't very cool.

I'm devastated. I don't know if I'm an asshole now as I think I should at least have heard what Zee wanted to say and that maybe not communicating is a bad thing. But another part of me can't get over the betrayal! She completely lied to me!!

So reddit, AITA?

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This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Professional-Poet401 on 2023-09-17 21:59:31.


My(48f) pregnant Daughter (25) and her husband are moving back to our city because of a job offer for my sil. They asked us to move in with us for a year or so because they couldn’t find an affordable house immediately. They will eventually buy a house here. I am thrilled that she is coming back. Not only because I missed having her close to me but also because of the help I can provide for her when the baby is born.

However there is a big problem. We have three bedrooms. My husband and I have the master bedroom and our son (16) has the second largest one. These two rooms are really LARGE. The third room is not small per se but in comparison to the other two it is. Also to small for two people (and a baby). My Son had the smallest room until his sister moved out two years ago. He was very happy with his new room.

I know that it is kinda mean to ask him to move back into the smaller room and his father and I are willing to compensate to him. His dad offered him a new gaming pc and when that didn’t convince him he said he can have a new phone of his choosing on top of that. But my son is adamant about staying in his room. He even called his pregnant(!) sister to tell her to f*** off and stay where she is. She was very upset after his phone call and cried when she told me. She also said sil has second thoughts about moving in with us after my sons tirade.

Today I told him to start moving his stuff into his old room and informed him that we ordered an iPhone 15 Pro for him and that his dad will buy him any pc he chooses. He was furious and accused me of playing favorites.

I tried to explain to him that the circumstances demand this and that his sisters needs have priority over his wants. But he refused to listen. He stormed out of the house a few hours ago and won’t answer my calls. My husband thinks I went to far and was an AH for telling our boy that his sisters needs are more important. Am I the AH here? I get that he is angry but his sister needs her family (including him) right now and that is more important than having the larger room.

Edit: sil is my Son in Law. There is no third person involved.

Edit 2: My daughter never was a ,golden child, she was always there for her brother and cared for him and I love and treat my kids equally. She got the bigger room because she had much more clothes and needed a bigger closet (he spends most of his money for tech stuff that is FAR MORE expensive then whatever we gave her for clothes before you get ideas).

I didn’t offer my room because this room is shared my two persons. He is one. Two persons need more space then one person .

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