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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Reddit_User-0 on 2023-09-16 01:39:33.

(English is not my first language so sorry for any grammatical/spelling errors)

I(48F) and my husband(50M) got married 2 moths ago. We both have been married before, me widowed and him him divorced, so we wanted out wedding to be fun and relaxed with all out friends and family there to celebrate the start to a new chapter of our lives. We both had decided to wear purple at our wedding so when we sent out our invitations we asked that all guest attending not wear purple. This color has significant meaning to the both of us as it was the favorite color of my husband's daughter who unfortunately died of cancer a year ago. She was able to be there when we got engaged but couldn't here who to see us get married. My husband and her were very close as her mother (husbands ex wife) was barely in her life. In the 3 years I knew her, we had become close and I truly felt like she was my own daughter (I don't have any children). When she died, my husband and I were devastated. To honor her we chose to wear purple so we could feel like she was there with us.

Now on to when it started. We asked all guests who wanted to be in early pictures to show up an hour before the ceremony, so you can imagine my surprise while in the middle of taking pictures I see a woman get out a car wearing a floor length, solid purple dress. My husband and I noticed at the same time and we were both horrified. Shortly other caught wind of what was happening so my mom, my sisters, and my MIL when over and told her she had to leave. I didn't hear exactly what was said but there was lots of yelling before she got back into her car and drove off. at that time others were starting to show up for the ceremony and caught the end of the encounter and were all asking questions of what happened. We later found out that she the plus one of my husband's cousin but he ended up getting sick and just told her she could go by herself so since no one really knew her we all thought the issue was dropped. The rest of the night was beautiful and everything I could have ever imagined and naturally I forgot about what happened.

About a week ago, one of my friends who was at the wedding and saw the encounter, sent a Facebook post made by her the day after my wedding. She basically talked about how we were disrespectful and rude for kicking her out the way we did. Saying we had completely embarrassed her and made a fool out of her. She called us all sorts of names saying that I was just jealous and insecure because she was prettier than me and how it's "just a color and we can't own it". I was horrified. I started crying out of frustration reading it then started to feel guilty, thinking that maybe she was right. I told my husband and he was furious and immediately called his cousin to tell her to take down the post but to no avail.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Ok_Yesterday_6214 on 2023-09-16 14:23:43.

Obligatory mobile phone warning

Recently moved into our own flat, money is tight. We don't really know our neighbors except for 3-4 people.

Got slapped with a big fine for general electricity coz of a mistake. Each flat pays by meter, but usage of electricity for elevators and what not was not accounted for for many years. Now electricity provider decided to get their money and each flat needs to pay an average of 3-4 months of individual usage on top of their own usage.

We consulted the company and lawyer and decided to pay, some neighbors decided not to. They were cut off on Monday.

Today while Hb is out I was woken up from a nap by knocking on the door. We have a dog and she guards me when Hb is out, so during the whole convo I had to hold her back. I open the door and see a woman I don't know holding a kid 3-4 years old, the convo goes like this:

Me: How can I help you?

Her: you know, we have no electricity.

Me: Okay, so?

Her: Can I use yours?

Me: Excuse me, what?

Her: My child needs his daily inhalation. It's gonna take about 20-30 minutes.

Me: I'm sorry, my Hb is out and I'm not letting anyone in.

Her: You don't have to let me in, I'm gonna bring an extension cord so just plug it in and I will use it in my place

Me: I'm sorry, my Hb is out and I'm not doing anything like that without consulting him first. Have a nice day.

So she goes Pikachu face and I close the door. I talked to my friend and she told me that she gets why I refused, but if she were in my shoes she wouldn't refuse (And I'm 100% sure she wouldn't).

The reasons I didn't agree: First of all, I don't know her and she didn't even introduce herself or gave me her flat number. Secondly, our network is old and my flat meter may overload if she plugs several appliances in extension cord (it has 3 plugs) and I can't control it coz it would be in her flat. Thirdly, I would have to shoulder the bill fow how much she would use. Fourthly, I would have to keep my apartment door unlocked for the extension and I wouldn't feel safe. I used my Hb as an excuse coz I was shocked somewhat.

Why I think I may be an AH is coz the kid's health was involved and they have no electricity for 5-6 days now.

Edit: added fourth reason not to agree

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Zealousideal-Lie1085 on 2023-09-16 14:22:41.

I (20F) and my boyfriend (20M) share pretty much everything. I like my t shirts oversized, usually a men’s medium. So they fit him. Recently he started playing paintball and started wearing the t shirts I bought. He says “it’ll wash out” which it sometimes does. He’ll go get clothes covered in paint and wait 2-3 weeks to wash it. He wore my black ccargo pants which really ticked me off because I like the way they fit me. I told him I don’t want him wearing my clothes anymore. We got into an argument and I said he should buy his own clothes, which hit a nerve because he doesn’t have a job. I make more than enough money to support us and money isn’t the problem, it’s the fact that he has no problem ruining clothes that he didn’t buy. I do feel bad for arguing and bringing up that he has no income. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwawaymeantosil on 2023-09-16 14:20:08.

Thanks to some work-related perks, I was able to book two beach houses on the same block for my in-laws to join my husband, two kids, and I on a vacation. They paid me back for their portion already, but I made the reservation.

SIL relies heavily on her parents to take care of her children. Even as a SAHM, she has one or both of them at her house helping or sends her kids to their house a lot of the time. When all of them are together, I've noticed what regularly happens is the kids end up unsupervised because everyone thinks someone else is watching them. When we're around, suddenly we end up in charge of the kids without being asked or even informed. One time, I was upstairs with my kids, their kids were downstairs, and they all left to grab lunch for us without telling me they were leaving. It's a big house, so I didn't hear them leave or the kids head outside to the yard while they were gone. When they returned, they saw the kids outside and tried to blame me for not watching them, when I had no idea they had left. Obviously, my husband set them straight and made sure they understood that if they wanted us to watch the kids they needed to ask us so that we know we're supposed to be in charge. I felt good about booking the vacation after this conversation.

A few weeks later, we were all at a small public beach together. We started bringing our stuff down to the beach and one of their kids wanted to come with us, so FIL said "OK, go ahead with them," loud enough for me to hear. Not asking, but at least I'm being informed that I'm in charge of him now and presumably they're following closely behind. After at least 10 minutes at the beach, they still haven't arrived and I notice their other child in the water by himself. I tell him to get out of the water and come over by me. I ask if they know he's down here and he says yes, that they told him he could come down and swim. He wasn't told to even check in with us so we knew he was there. I feel this is completely unsafe as I very easily could not have seen him in the water, and we had already had a very clear conversation about supervision of the children. I was too angry to have a productive conversation, and they are ones that immediately get defensive and shut down or get combative at any hint of confrontation, so we said nothing and just finished the beach day.

Once we got home, I told my husband I'm not comfortable going to the beach with them again and I canceled the reservation on the beach house. He returned their money and told them it’s because of what happened at the beach. Obviously, they were very upset and felt they deserved another chance because they had informed me about one child and the other child was supposed to check in with us and didn’t, so how can I punish all of them. My husband also feels that because they paid for their portion, it wasn’t necessarily fair of me to cancel it and we could’ve just had mostly separate vacations and refused to go to the beach with them. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Visual_Acanthaceae96 on 2023-09-16 08:17:08.

I'm having a party soon. I asked everyone their allergies, no one is allergic to anything but my boyfriend's daughter. She's allergic to pineapples and nuts. I compromised and it'll be a nut free zone. No candy, no deserts, no anything with nuts. However, my witches brew has pineapples and my pumpkin brew does not. I told him she can't have the witches brew, he got upset. I don't think it's fair that I have to cut out EVERYTHING I like for one person. She doesn't have to drink it. I have another option with her in mind. But he feels that I shouldn't make it at all... And I should just choose something else. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Cow-Financial on 2023-09-16 06:58:32.

My husband and I were at a craft fair that was being held at a brewery. I felt natures call, but saw the line for the women’s room. So I waited. One or two drinks later, it’s time for the restroom.

First, I go to the women’s room. There are 10+ women waiting in line. Then, I look at the men’s room (both restrooms have completely open doors….idk breweries?) There is no one waiting, and there are three females in the mensroom washing their hands.

So I think, soil my pants or use the men’s room? My bladder chose the men’s room.

After the fact I told my husband about it, thinking it would be a funny anecdote. He got so angry thinking that I was using the men’s room for sexual reasons. I slept on the couch for the next two days.

My argument was that in an absolute emergency, whatever bathroom you choose doesn’t matter…..meanwhile, whenever nature calls for him, he will go/pull over wherever or whenever.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Pastel-Tiger on 2023-09-16 05:17:17.

I (19f) regularly babysit for a single dad. The pay is good and the kids are great. However the most recent time he was supposed to be back at 10pm. At 10:15 he texts me asking if I could be flexible with how late he got home (I was thinking he would be home in 5-10 min). I responded I wasn’t as I had an early morning the next day and I would have to commute home. (Additionally I had been planning on catching the tail end of a party for a friend I hadn’t seen in a while). He doesn’t get back until 10:45. I had to rush out because my Uber had already been waiting the 5 min and just curtly said “if you are going to be later please let me know I had to cancel plans I had after this”. I texted after trying to soften the blow but I feel as though whether I had plans or not (and no I’m not just upset I couldn’t go get drunk I’m sober) my time should be respected but I feel crazy and bad because I know he doesn’t get out much and need to know AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/OutcomeSafe303 on 2023-09-16 03:19:03.

I F(26) have been dating my boyfriend M(27) for two years. Within those two years I realized that I put my emotional needs to the side to tend to his.

For example, if we are both having a bad day, I would put my emotions to the side so he can talk about what is bothering him and I can comfort him. He’s admitted to me that he feels I am the stronger one, emotionally, out of the both of us. Now here is why I get upset and can not tend to his love language. One of his love language is words of affirmation, and he constantly asks me if I still love him or if I’m happy with him.

Recently something happened to me physically where I was in a lot of pain and could only lay down to get some type of relief, if any. My boyfriend was there with me while I was in pain however kept asking me if I still loved him and if i was happy with him. I got fed up to the point where I told him I wouldn’t answer that question anymore and to stop asking me. I could tell I hurt his feelings but I was in a lot of discomfort where I needed him and I got upset that I had to put my physical and emotional suffering to the side to tend to him once again. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/princess-bluberry on 2023-09-16 00:17:39.

So I (F25) just got married last Saturday the 9th. I had a beautiful ceremony up in the mountains overlooking a lake. It was a nice quick ceremony. Then we had a beautiful dinner after dinner we had speeches from both the maid of honor and best friend. the whole wedding was supposed to be less than people, but it was still supposed to be cocktail and a little bit formal which I specified at the invitations. After the speeches, everybody kind of got together in the living room.(the cabin was really big if it up to 30 people comfortably) when I saw that everybody was looking at a fight that was on. I told my husband (M29) thought it was upsetting me that instead of celebrating the wedding, they were just watching TV. I asked him to shut it off and tell everybody to go outside and enjoy the party. Instead he argued with me and told me that it would only take 20 minutes. We later talked about it. He understood he was in the wrong and how this was very important to me. I ended up asking them myself. Everybody just looked at me if I was crazy. This caused me to have a panic attack and very keep myself in one of the bathrooms for about an hour. My husband was with me the whole time trying to call me down. they eventually turn TV off and starting and joining the wedding but this whole issue ruined the wedding for me. I can’t stop thinking about it. Was I the asshole for asking them to turn it off?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Thr0waway_parentvent on 2023-09-16 08:25:23.

This happened a while ago but I'm still getting some heat for it so I need to know if I overreacted and I am in fact The AH, or whether it was a justified response at the time.

I (43F) don't have a great relationship with my mother (68F), but most of the time we get along okay when I do see her (but are not particularly close). There is one thing in particular she does that really bugs me to the point of me seeing red every time, and that's her insistence on picking at the food on my plate whenever we dine out. She also does it whenever I buy take-out, and the routine is as follows;

I inform her I am buying take out, and ask her if she wants any herself. She usually responds with disgust, saying it's junk food and she doesn't know how I can eat that revolting muck. Then the food arrives and she gives it the side eye until she decides she would like to 'just have a small taste', and before you know it she has eaten half of the meal.

Her routine at cafes and restaurants is this;

The food arrives and she makes some kind of passive aggressive comment such as "Wow, look at the SIZE of that meal", or " Got enough food on your plate there?", or she will puff her cheeks to imitate an overweight person ( I try to ignore all of this ). Then not long after she 'just wants a small taste' and then the picking off my plate begins despite her having her own order in front of her, and despite me offering to leave her something to try at the end.

This has been going on literally for over 2 decades.

Her grandchildren know not to leave their plates unattended for even a few minutes because she will polish it off and say " Oh I thought you were finished". They know if they want to enjoy a takeaway treat to not bring the food into her house. I once saw her battle a 4 year old for a cheeseburger, they both had a death grip on the burger and were going red in the face. It was bizarre.

The incident in question in which I may have been the AH, was a large family gathering at a local restaurant, with uncles and aunts and children present, so yeah there were a lot of witnesses to the one time I lost my shit and snapped when she started reaching for my plate. On her first attempt I said calmly " Don't do that, you know how much it annoys me." Then on her second attempt I went from 0 to 100 in half a second and looked her dead in the eye and said very forcefully " Don't you DARE touch that F***ING CHIP !!!" It was loud enough that half the table heard it and they all looked up to see me glaring and her with her hand frozen in mid air and her mouth wide open in shock. Honestly I don't know why she was that surprised because I had told her multiple times that I hated her picking at my food.....but this was the first time I had raised my voice and dropped the F bomb. With a table of family to witness.

It's been ages but every now and again it gets brought up 'that time you abused your mother at the restaurant over a chip'. So did I go to far? AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Major-Dot-7858 on 2023-09-16 08:06:33.

For some background info: I am 25F. My boyfriend is 31M. He is in the process of building a house and has been very stressed over not only the process but the money it is costing him. I am in graduate school. I don't have much money right now but the money I do have is mostly going towards school. We have been dating for a year.

My boyfriend and I went to the state fair tonight. I expressed to him how excited I was to go and get this specific food that I only get once a year at the fair. I grabbed some cash from my car and threw it into my purse before we went in. I paid for both of our admission tickets and an order of curly fries we shared. He bought us two hot sausages. Then, we went over to the stand that I was most excited for, but he was not getting anything from this stand. The line was very VERY long. We waited for about a half hour.. He expressed a desire for us to just leave and not wait any longer, but I said I really wanted this one so we waited. He also mentioned that he wanted me to take it to go, but I said I really wanted to eat it at the fair while it was still hot. It is the kind of food that isn't good after sitting for a while.

We finally got to the front of the line and I reached into my purse to pay when I realized I didn't have enough cash left. I thought I had grabbed more than I did from my car. I would never do this on purpose. I said to him... "I messed up and didn't grab enough money. Is there any way you could give me $5 and I will pay you back when we get back to the car?" He was immediately disgusted with me and couldn't believe I would not bring enough money into the fair but he gave me the money. Then I realized I actually needed one more dollar so I asked if I could have just one more dollar and reiterated that I would immediately pay him back when we got to the car. He was VERY disgusted with me at the point and snapped at me "for WHAT?" because he couldn't understand why I needed another dollar. His tone of voice immediately made me tear up. When the guy working the stand asked if it was for here or to go, I told him to go, and we left. The WHOLE reason we went to the fair was for me to get something from this stand because I love it, and I ended up crying and having to take it to go.

We walked to the car silently and I immediately reached into the glove box to pay him back and he wouldn't let me open it and said just to drive. That he didn't want me to pay him back. He said (loudly) that I am completely ridiculous and a baby. I told him I was already nervous to ask him for the money in the first place and then his response just made everything worse, and he could not believe I said I was afraid to ask him for money. I said well look at the way you responded... why wouldn't I have been? He claimed that he thought I was "joking" when I asked for the extra dollar and that's why he acted the way he did.. But I don't believe it. You could tell in the moment it was genuine irritation. AITA?

Edit: the food I wanted was a Stromboli. It was 9.50, and I had 4 dollars left in my purse.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Acceptable_Smoke3597 on 2023-09-16 05:28:16.

My (30F) chiropractor (29M) does an adjustment where he lifts up the top half of my body off of the table and lowers it on his fist as an adjustment. This can be done face down, but it doesn’t work as well. He’s said before that I just need to buy a fist to lay on at home since it gives me so much relief.

Anyways, today he told me he did that adjustment on his wife and she asked him if he does that to patients (she was not happy) and he told her only on male patients. I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not. I didn’t know what to say, so I just said he was a doctor doing his job. Maybe I should have told him to not do it?

We are somewhat close and I’ve been going for so long that at this point, he just does whatever to me. I told him I wanted dry needling on my lower back and he offered to do it on my glutes, completely serious. He’s offered it on my hips before too, typically asking more than once. So I don’t get why an adjustment where he’s holding me basically would be a problem when it’s okay for him to see my naked ass. 🤷🏼‍♀️ it’s all medical to me, but maybe I’m being oblivious.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Philosopher1976 on 2023-09-16 04:03:07.

I’m going to a charity gala and bought tickets for me and my wife. She wants to buy a dress for the gala and I said okay.

She then asked if she could buy a few dresses to try on and only return one, and texted me screenshots of four dresses, which cost about $280 each before tax. She said she wanted to order them in two different sizes.

I said fine, pick three dresses and order those. That seemed like a lot of $ to float on my card, and a weird way to shop, but whatever. She then asked, “at each store?” and got upset because she wants to order three dresses in two sizes at every store and have them delivered.

This seems silly to me. It would involve thousands of dollars (which I have, but still) tied up and tons of shipping costs. I told her to go to the mall like everyone else and asked her who shops this way. Her response (via text): “WOMEN SHOP THIS WAY!”

Am I the asshole here?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Playful-Smile-2713 on 2023-09-16 03:02:24.

My wife and I have recently had a disagreement regarding daycare. My wife would like to have a parent home instead of using daycare. The problem is my wife makes more than me, so it makes no sense for her to quit her job. I do not want to quit my job and be a stay-at-home dad.

My wife feels I am being selfish and not doing what is best for our kid. I do not see much issue with daycare we can afford it.

She then took a jab at me and my pay. I apologized that I did not have the opportunity to go to school like she did.

I have not spoken to her since, but been thinking am I in the wrong?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/AdFragrant9001 on 2023-09-16 04:57:37.

My(58F) Daughter Jenifer (27f) has a new BF David (32m) Last week they came to dinner, it wasn't planned in advance, they came for something else and just stayed for dinner. I cooked an Asian dish. Unknown to me at the time, David has some major food hangups, no allergies or special diet, just things he doesn't eat. He hadn't wanted to stay, apparently, he said so earlier in the day, but Jen forgot. He didn't say anything when Jen asked me could they stay.

When I served the food, he looked at it like it was poison, pushed it away and said "Im not eating this crap" and left. He totally left, drove home without her, or without telling her he was leaving. My daughter was stunned and upset. They had a huge fight over his rude behavior and him leaving her there.

A week later they made up, He seems to have convinced her it was her fault for staying for dinner, she knew about his food issues. She felt bad for not considering his hang ups but told him his behavior was not ok, he should have spoken to her about it before dinner.

So now this is where I come in and might be the AH.

My birthday is coming up and my son is flying in from out of state, so I really want the whole family there.

I had already chosen the restaurant I want to go to for dinner on my birthday. It's a Chinse restaurant that my family all enjoy. I am assuming that David will not eat there since he had such a problem with my Asian food. He said rice is a big turn off for him. I could change, there is time, but I really don't want to. They have only been dating a couple of months. And he was very rude to me in my home. He hasn't apologized to me.

I told Jen about my plans, she said he probably won't come. I asked if she would still come or if she is going to choose to stay with him. She said she would come but...I suspect he will pressure her to not come.

Part of me wants to push it to show my daughter what she has in store for her future if she stays in this relationship, but the other part wants to not upset anyone.

AITA if I don't change the restaurant?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Business_Resident_21 on 2023-09-16 05:04:38.

I coparent an 8yo boy (Noah) with his mom (Jessica). Noah's mom and I were never really together but get along most of the time. She's currently seeing this guy named Greg and it's serious enough to where he's moved in.

I asked Jessica that I'd like to know more about Greg and she said her relationships are none of my business. I said in this case it is because he's sharing a living space with my son. At the very least, I'd like to see a background check. She told me she's vetted him a long time ago and I should accept her word that he's a good person.

I said if he is a good guy and you vetted him, then share that information with me. I would 10000% share that information with her if I was going to move in an SO into the same space as our son. That is my way of assuring my son's mom that she has nothing to worry about. I think it's totally rational. Other than that, I don't care if she's dating a space alien. Literally I couldn't care less.

She refused so I told her that I'll just hire a PI to make sure my son is safe while living in the same house with an adult who I know nothing about. She told me I was acting like a psycho.

Edit: It doesn't matter of he's the boyfriend or roommate or cousin or Captain Crunch. I want to know who's living in the same home as my minor child.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/SpringDear333 on 2023-09-15 23:55:36.

I’ll start this post off firstly by saying I was completely in the wrong. There are zero excuses for how I treated my husband that night at the work social. He is, without a doubt, the personification of a perfect husband. Honestly, at times, I find myself wondering if he's too good for me. He’s the kindest person I know, he’s incredibly supportive of me in every way, he’s funny, he's very intelligent, easy to talk to, and yes, he’s also very good-looking.

I feel heartbroken about the things I said, especially about the fear of heights thing. My husband only bothered overcoming it and crossing that rope bridge for my sake after all.

After reading the comments I received and doing extensive self-reflection, I profusely apologized to my husband, and I told him that I do love and respect him. I apologized not only for the things I said that night but also for my general behavior since I got my promotion and my accusations of him being jealous.

Being him, he accepted my apology immediately and even said that he had already forgiven me because he considered my actions to be a mistake rather than intentional. He then actually apologized as well because he thought that he had spoken out of anger and escalated the situation when we got home.

Since then, I’ve been trying my best to be worthy of him. He told me that we should let the whole thing be in the past, but I think I always cringe when I think back to that night and the time leading up to it.

Things at work have also been pretty smooth. My husband doesn’t mind going in and chatting with our colleagues. Yesterday, he, in fact, expanded on the rope bridge story with one of our colleagues, so I think he’s comfortable.

Now, I’m really just hoping now that I can be as good a spouse as he is.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/UnclePervyBear on 2023-09-16 00:57:01.

My husband and I (male) have been together for almost fifteen years. In that time, I have never cheated on him nor has he, as far as I know, cheated on me. We have a good relationship and love each other very much.

A few months ago, I got a new coworker ("Dave"). He's a very nice guy, a few years younger than me, and undeniably hot. I was attracted to him instantly. In the months since Dave started, he and I have become rather close (professionally speaking). We work on projects together, often eat lunch together, and have a good, solid, work friendship. We talk a lot about non-personal things (workouts, books, movies, etc), but not much that is personal. He knows I'm gay and married and I know he's single, but not whether is straight or gay.

Then, about a month ago, Dave invited me to work out with him. I had been telling him that I was trying to put on some muscle as well as lose weight. Dave has been an avid "gym rat" (his term) since he was a teenager and knows much more than I do about good workout habits and routines. So, with my husband fully aware, Dave and I started working out together two to three times a week.

This only made my attraction stronger. Dave and I would leave work, change into workout clothes at the gym, do our routines, and then shower and change together when we were done (like many other male friends working out together). Now that I have seen him naked on numerous occasions, I find myself thinking about him more...and not in a platonic way.

Now, I was content to just let it go at that. I have no intention of ever cheating on my husband. I have had sexual attractions to other men before, as has my husband. We are both well aware that loving each other does not mean we don't find other guys sexually attractive. As well, even if I DID want to cheat on my husband, I don't even know whether or not Dave is A) attracted to men and, if so, B) attracted to me.

Then, the other day, I was talking to a long-time friend of mine. I told him the same things I mentioned here. I also told him that I had no intention of telling my husband, since I had not done anything inappropriate with Dave, nor had Dave ever indicated he would be open to that if I had tried.

My friend, though, insists I have to tell my husband. He says it's different than past sexual attractions, though, for two reasons.

1. Dave and I work closely together almost every day.

2. Dave and I work out together and, because of that, see each other naked in the locker room and gym showers on a regular basis.

He says to not tell my husband, given those two things, would make me an asshole. He says that I'm spending enough time with Dave, including time unclothed, that I have to be up front and confess to my husband that I am attracted to Dave and have some non-platonic feelings for him.

So, Reddit, is my friend right?

EDIT: Thank you, Reddit. I've read every response, even the ones I didn't reply to. I have not, nor would I ever, cheat on my husband. But, people brought up an emotional affair...which, honestly, I had never considered. I can't say those people are wrong though. I just didn't recognize it for what it was.

I accept my judgement. I'm an asshole and I accept that. I'm going to talk to my husband this weekend and put some distance between me and Dave.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/FuturePineapple4074 on 2023-09-16 03:05:10.

I don't use Reddit but my friend suggested I post here.

I am a transgender man who very much passes for a cisgender man 99.9% of the time. Almost a decade ago I had a double mastectomy which gave me scars along my pec lines. They are very much healed but still visible.

I go to a gym that allows men to exercise topless. The other day I was working out in the outdoor area and it was hot so I took my shirt off. EDIT: I should have included this in the first place but to my knowledge there is no rule against women being topless, but I have never seen a topless woman at this gym. Most wear sports bras.

About 5 minutes in, a woman approached me and asked me to put my shirt back on. I asked why because there were 3 other men who also had their shirts off. She responded that she knew what my scars were from and it disturbed her to see them. She said it was no different than if she took her bra off and forced everyone to see her breasts.

I told her that's her problem and if she wanted to take her bra off go for it. She said she’d report me and then glared and made disgusted faces at me for the rest of my workout, which I ended up cutting short because I felt so uncomfortable.

I felt like I was in the right, as there's no reason why my body is a different case than the other men around me just because I have some lines on it that may suggest there used to be breasts there. But some of my female friends (cisgender) have said I’m the asshole because putting my shirt on would have been the least I could do to make her more comfortable in a male-dominated space. I said she could have just moved to a different part of the gym. They said why should she have to move, I said why should I have to change? They say I’m refusing to see it from the female perspective and she wasn’t being transphobic. Now, I can’t tell if my outlook is too clouded by my own experience. Am I being ignorant? Should I have just put my shirt back on?

TLDR: Took my shirt off where it was allowed and a woman was offended by my surgery scars that show I am trans. I refused to cover up despite her complaints. AITA?

EDIT: Some additional information I perhaps should have included:

1. My scars are nearing 10 years old. They are not grotesque, overly discolored, or even all that noticeable in my opinion. I am regularly shirtless outdoors in parks/pools/etc and I haven’t caught anyone staring in probably 5ish years. I don’t think I can post links but if you Google Image search Hanson Gobron Out Magazine that’s pretty similar to my scars. Mine are probably a bit more faded and I have a little chest hair.
2. To the questions of why my gym allows people to be shirtless, this was in the weight area of a rock climbing gym. I don’t know why but shirts off seems to be a big climbing thing. Most women wear sports bras and no shirts, including the woman who confronted me.
3. I would never use a bench or machine (there’s no machines anyway) shirtless. Gross. I was outside doing deadlifts.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/MaybePlayful7722 on 2023-09-16 01:55:27.

I am 30F. I'm raising my two kids, 7F and 4M. I have a younger sister, Megan, 28F. Megan has a daughter, Ava, 5F.

My daughter Ruby turned 7 last week and she wanted a laser tag party. I planned her a birthday party at our nearest laser tag centre, and I allowed Ruby to invite two friends from school. It includes a few games of laser tag and a pizza dinner afterwards for the kids.

Both of Ruby's friends are vegetarians but luckily the laser tag place has plain cheese pizza that they can have.

I invited a few family members as well, including Megan and her daughter. Megan declined, her reasoning being that Ava will not eat pizza and she'll feel left out.

For context

Ava has been a picky eater for a while. Whether this is due to neurodivergence or not, my guess is as good as anyone's because my sister has never taken her to a pediatrician about this (we live in a country with free healthcare, cost is not the issue). Megan just caves and plays restaurant with her all the time and never has her try anything new.

According to Megan, the only things Ava will eat are chicken nuggets, plain cheese sandwiches, mashed potatoes and waffles. Megan just acts like this is not unusual or a problem at all, and says Ava will grow out of it eventually.

The problem started because Megan suggested that we change plans and after the laser tag games, we take all the kids to McDonald's. I told Megan about two of the kids at the party being vegetarians and that she's more than welcome to bring her own food to the party for Ava.

Megan kept trying to persuade me and said Ruby's friends can bring their own food instead. I told her to stop because I'm not changing the plans, she can either come or not, at this point I was getting annoyed. Megan snapped at me and said the girls are choosing to be vegetarians, her daughter isn't choosing to be a picky eater, and I should prioritise my niece. I said it's not about priorities, I'm just not changing plans that are already made and booked. I told Megan she needs to address her daughter's eating habits because they are blatantly out of control.

My sister said there was no need for me to be rude and that I have no right to comment on her parenting, Ava isn't my child and I have no say. She said if I have a problem with that, I can go screw myself.

Megan ended up not going to the party and my parents are intervening and saying that they understand why I said what I said, but it's still not my business and I should've just left it at "I'm not changing the plans" and I should apologize to Megan for the comment.

Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Minimum_Effective759 on 2023-09-15 20:27:36.

Was playing with my nephew (9) and his dog outside. Nephew finds ant hill. I say don't touch the ant hill. Nephew proceeds to do what almost every child in history has done and pokes the ant hill with a stick. I say okay stop it, they're crawling up the stick. Nephew doesn't drop the stick. I tell him he's about to learn a hard lesson and then sit back and drink my beer.

A few minutes later nephew starts screaming because he got three ant bites. I take him inside to put benadryl cream on them. He's a little tearful but he's fine. His mom says what happened, I tell her. She says why didn't you make him leave it alone. I said I told him to and he didn't listen. She says you should have taken the stick away from him and distracted him. I said (jokingly) he's a nine year old boy not a puppy. Wrong thing to say. Sister in law and brother start yelling at me. She's more upset then the kid is.

AITA

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Thin_Post_5678 on 2023-09-16 01:20:47.

I know the title seems odd, I'll keep it short and sweet.

This morning before work, I sent a selfie of my outfit to my boyfriend. I work in an office, so I don't dress provocatively. The outfit is a long sleeve black shirt, up to my neck (no cleavage, not even collarbone), an above-knee jean skirt, and a full-length maroon sweater.

I wore just a sports bra beneath my shirt because I have no typical bra that fits me at the moment. He said he loved it. Fast forward to the end of the workday I go home and I greet him by going in for a hug. He asks me if I am wearing nipple covers under my clothes. I told him no because I have on a sports bra.

Usually, when I wear dresses or shirts outside of work with no bra, I wear the nipple covers.

He immediately shuts down and tells me he's disappointed in me for not wearing covers over my nipples. Apparently, when I walked in my nipples were a bit hard (haven't been that way all day) and I didn't make an effort to hide them as I was just getting home and ready to unwind.

He is now saying I don't take his feelings into consideration, and it makes him feel worthless... We've had this conversation before for when I don't wear any boob support, but I didn't think I needed covers with a sports bra...

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Cold-Range9355 on 2023-09-16 01:18:26.

My daughter (26F) was abandoned by her husband when my grandson was 3 months old. Since she couldn't support herself, I let her move into my house.

I (56F) have a hectic routine where I do my things (work, gym, etc.) until 5PM and from 6PM to 8PM I stay with my grandson until my daughter arrives.

Currently, to help my daughter, I pay the expenses at home and she pays for daycare and the baby's things (diapers, formula, etc.). And there's still plenty left for her to save up to eventually move.

I decided that I would take a month off next month to rest, without necessarily traveling.

When my daughter found out about the vacation, she talked about the possibility of saving money on daycare to save up to move since I could stay with my grandson.

I immediately said no, as it is my rest and taking care of a child for 6h/5d+2h at night is not in my plans, but that I could help in the morning so she can rest, but the afternoon was out of the question (my grandson stays in daycare on afternoon)

She started crying, saying that she was trying to gain independence and eventually move out, but that being a single mother was so hard and I wasn't making it any easier. Basically she begged me to at least stay another 3 hours, but I stuck to what I said.

I really want to rest and a 14 month old baby who is walking and curious I know I won't get that rest, but I can't help but feel guilty about my daughter's situation. I love my grandson, but it is also my rest.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/fidnn189 on 2023-09-16 00:27:16.

I lost my left leg when I was very young from a hospital acquired infection. I have a prosthetic leg which I use for walking and another one for running and exercise. When I was on my parents health insurance growing up I got refitted regularly as I grew up. Now I’m too old to be on my parents insurance and while my company’s insurance is considered very good, getting a new leg or getting adjustments for body weight changes are still expensive. I expect to be paying a fortune if I get pregnant. So I try my best to stay the same weight and if I gain some weight I can immediately feel it becoming less comfortable to walk.

Anyway a friend’s gf and I were talking and she began remarking on how I’m not eating much. We were out to dinner and I just was having a soup and salad and everyone else was having baby back ribs. I’d stolen a few of my bf’s plate but generally I was trying to eat light. I said I was trying to lose a few pounds and she immediately assured me I was beautiful the way I was and I didn’t need to lose weight. I told her I know I am but losing weight helps with my mobility. She began “diagnosing” me with an eating disorder. Saying I must have a delusion I was very heavy and having issues walking. I was pissed and she sounded super condescending and blurted out she had no business talking down to me about my weight even if it was to tell me not to change it. The other people overheard and the gf got really embarrassed and left with my friend soon after. My bf thinks I should have explained why I need to keep my weight the same but I don’t think I should have to pull out my disability to get her to shut up.

With long loose pants it’s often hard to tell I have a prosthetic leg. I don’t know if she knew but I didn’t feel like justifying why my weight needed to stay the same. But AITA for shutting down her attempts to diagnose me with an eating disorder?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Unhappy-Door505 on 2023-09-15 21:07:33.

I (F22) recently started living with my boyfriend (M22). I hate sharing personal hygiene stuff. I have two different soaps for body and face, and three towels ( body, face and hair). My boyfriend has one towel that he uses to dry, well everything. Its gross to me.

Anyway he knows not to use my stuff. Today I found him with the towel dedicated to my face wrapped around his waist.

I was so grossed out and yelled at him for using it. He said he wanted to take a shower and couldn't find his. I am still mad and refusing to talk go him .

He called me selfish and said I am acting like a AH over a towel. That its not a big deal.

AITA?