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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ThrowRAGlitte-1117 on 2023-10-04 05:55:14.

My wife and I have been married for 7 years, we are in our early 30s.

She rejoined work a few months ago after mat leave and has a new coworker in her team. She immediately thought he was weird and tried to keep her distance but he was pushy. Over the past couple of months, he's started flirting with her, complimenting the way she dresses, says things like "the view from my desk is fantastic" while looking at her.

I want to be clear that I 100% trust my wife. But she's getting upset about his comments. I told her to go speak to HR or to speak to this guy directly and tell him to stop. But she keeps making excuses. I got pretty upset at her and told her it's clearly affecting her and it's annoying she isn't doing something to address it. She says I'm an asshole for getting upset at her without understanding why she can't do it.

What do I do? Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/PossibilityRound6270 on 2023-10-04 03:34:14.

My partner (M40) and I (F39) dated in college. Our relationship broke down after we accidentally got pregnant with our son (M16), and only found out when it was too late to do anything about it medically. Neither of us were ready to be parents financially or emotionally, but I as the mother, had no choice so I stepped up (I would like to stress that I loved my son from the moment I held him, it was just a terrifying pregnancy when I didn't feel ready). My ex left and while he did pay state mandated child support, had 0 contact with our son.

Recently, he got married and his wife must have found out that he has a son out there in the world. Suddenly he wants a relationship with my son, and I say my son because the only times he's seen my son is at court visits regarding custody/child support (originally his parents bothered him so he agreed to weekend visitations but never visited).

My son expressed curiosity about meeting his father, so I obviously allowed it. My ex wasn't abusive or a morally bankrupt person, so I had no issues with them having a relationship. But my son was very disappointed after a few visits at how obviously disinterested my ex was, and apparently it was more his new wife that was grilling him about his childhood, school life and my relationship with my ex. My son wanted to meet with them one more time to get his own feelings off his chest, and tell my ex to never contact him again. After that visit, my ex is threatening to go to court over parental alienation and saying he'll only back off if I agree to send my son to family therapy with him and his wife.

I spoke with my son about his father's desires for them to work things out in family therapy, my son doesn't want to do it. He said he doubts his father "gives a shit about him" and he thinks the new wife only cares because she's worried he'll be a bad influence on their future children.

This isn't a legal question, I'm 99% sure my ex has 0 case because my son is 16 now, and of how long my ex went without seeing him.

But WIBTA if I didn't put in more effort into making my son go to family therapy with my ex. Is this something a teenage boy might feel resentful his mother didn't push him more to reconcile with his father when he grows up?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/lovsmeg on 2023-10-04 00:45:00.

So my professor assigned us in groups of two and I was paired with this girl. This group naming thing was for cleanup, whoever is assigned to clean a classroom at the end of class.

I decided on naming our group “wasian” for white and asian. I thought it was clever and simple. We both were coming up with different names and ultimately ended up with this one. I then hear from our next class that she (professor) is having a “mental breakdown” and commenting on it publicly. I was receiving texts in my class groupchat about how she was upset and that we might be in trouble and have to change the name.

I am now uncomfortable that she spoke to the entire second class about it when she could have talked to me and my group privately and asked us to change the name. She is a very kind professor but I am upset and feel like I’m being punished and humiliated for something that is not even remotely considered racist. I felt like defending and over-explaining myself for a biracial term. Should I take it up with the dean or speak to her personally first, or was I an AH for that name?

Also, I wanted to clarify that she never spoke to me or my partner but talked about it with another class of students that I am not in. They told me she brought it up out of nowhere. My entire class was okay with it considering I am the only person of color along with another guy. I have apologized to my partner and told her I would speak to my professor and clear up any misunderstandings behind the situation. We both agreed that it was nice name and I asked her if she wanted to change it. I genuinely meant no harm or ill intentions behind the group name, and I do realize it was inappropriate for the setting. I will gladly change the name, I am just uncomfortable that I was made aware of the situation from another party.

Also for everyone asking, I wanted to clarify that I am asian. My partner is white. My professor is also white. I also wanted to say that we had been choosing different funny or light-hearted names, this name happened to pop up in my head and I mentioned it as a joke, but she had also liked it and we both went through with it.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Zandy- on 2023-10-04 03:01:47.

My (24M) best friend (24F) is getting married in a month to a major homophobe and she invited me to the wedding, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable attending. (I’m gay)

So for a little background, me and my best friend met when we were in 4th grade and have been inseparable since. We have had so many classes together, done so many things together and have been there for each other through everything. Her grandmother passing, my parents separating, I mean she’s my rock. Everytime we were going through a rough patch in our own lives, we would always be an open ear to the other and knew how to make the other feel better.

My bsf, who we will call Katie now (fake name obv) has always been the kinda person to ask for advice, and then end up doing what she wants anyway. Whenever she met this guy, her now fiancé, she would ask me what I thought. I guess the “best friend test.” I wouldn’t say I’m a judgemental person, but I pick up on vibes. and this guy gave me major homophobe vibes. I picked it up from the first time I met him. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt because Katie normally had a good judge of character, and he made her happy. I’m not very feminine, so he never liked me because he always thought I was after his woman. He never believed it when either of us said I said I didn’t swing that way.

As time went on I guess he wasn’t as worried about me, and got more comfortable, and he said some out of pocket things. Subtle gay jokes here and there at first, then blatant remakes about how 2 men shouldn’t be together, how the Bible says “Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve,” how 2 guys can’t properly raise kids. And honestly every rebuttal to gay marriage under the sun. Katie didn’t seem to acknowledge any of these remarks, despite me bringing them to her attention.

So here’s the situation. Katie is getting married next month and I’m supposed to be the man of honor. But I fell like I would be doing a disservice to myself if I attended, seeing as she’s marrying someone who doesn’t support my existence, and I’m not sure what his thoughts on me even being there even are. I honestly don’t want to be there, and I hope this wedding falls through. I haven’t expressed these emotions to her yet, as I don’t want to ruin it for her. im afraid if I do it would push her away. But I’m also afraid if I don’t and go through with it, I would lose my best friend anyway.

So, Reddit, AITA? Should I cut my losses? Im at a loss right now…

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Creative_Plum8470 on 2023-10-04 01:48:06.

My sister, let call her Anne (31) is 3 months pregnant. Anne is my only sibling and this is her first baby. My dad pass away 4 year ago and it only been mom, Anne and me for a long time. Mom and I have been really excited to welcome a new member of the family. Since Anne is my only sibling, I thought (assumed) I would be the baby's godmother. My sister made it seem I would until her husband told her I would need to be married in order to be the godmother. I'm very much single and have no plans to marry. I don't think it in the cards for me. I was sad to hear this and kept how upset I was to my self. If the catholic church says I can't be a godmother then who am I to argue. I took Anne to the Prego Expo, along with our mom. We started talking about the baby shower and doing a little planning during and following the expo. Today I go a text message from Anne, telling me the date and location of the baby shower. I asked her why she was doing it in that location since we talked about another location. She said her husband's brother and his wife liked that place and they wanted a DJ at the baby shower and for it to be a party. I was taken a bit back since I thought mom and I would be doing the planning. Especially since mom will be paying for the location and she has a limited income. Anne then proceeded to send me screen shots of table center pieces and shower decorations that she wanted me to make for the shower. I was upset and it took me a minute to understand why I was crying. My plan was to ignore her for a few hours while I settled my feels. But she kept messaging, demanding a response and I finally texted her back. I told her I was upset about not being a godmother and that I felt her husband's family was taking over the planning and how my feelings where hurt. Anne texted back that its her husband, that she never confirmed the location and that I'm making no sense. I texted Anne back, telling her that helping plan means involvement, and that I felt like I was not involved instead I was being told when things are happening and rudely being told I needed to do the decorations. I also texted Anne that I clearly misunderstood my level of involvement and that I felt I was justify upset but that I will get over it. She has not responded. My mom is now mad at me for upsetting Anne and she worried it will affect the baby. So now I feel like crap. I know it's Anne's decision on how much I am or am not involved in. My feeling where hurt and I should have kept them to myself since Anne is pregnant and it can affect her baby... Am I the asshole...

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/justanotherwhovin on 2023-10-04 03:11:52.

Today my ex husband called me saying I’m a vile human and am an AH.

This situation is quite complicated. I have a three-year-old son with my ex-husband, but he hasn't been involved in our lives since October 2021.

As a single mom who is also attending school, I took him to court, and he now pays child support as ordered by the court.

Recently, my ex-husband's girlfriend reached out to me on Facebook. She asked me to stop making my ex-husband pay child support because they just had a new baby and are struggling to afford formula. In response, I empathized with their situation but explained that the child support is a legal obligation my ex-husband willingly agreed to when he brought our child into this world. Ultimately, their financial difficulties are “a you problem”

I understand that my response may have come across as harsh, and I feel a sense of guilt for expressing it that way. However, it's important to acknowledge that my ex-husband made the decision to have another child, and it is not my responsibility to intervene in his relationship or financial matters. Each individual is accountable for their own choices and the consequences that come with them.m

TDR: I told my ex husbands gf that it’s her problem they can’t afford to feed they’re own kid. My ex husband says I’m an AH for making him pay child support.

So, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Three_way_entrance on 2023-10-04 00:58:29.

My neighbor approached me the other day because her internet was down. She asked if mine was working. I checked and it was. She asked who my provider was and I told her. She then asked if told me to let her have my wifi password a few days to try it and see if she liked it. I don’t know her like that. She’s always been kinda cold towards me and her son is always staring at me in a creepy way. I told her I didn’t give my password out and she was like “that’s just rude” and left.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/GoldDustBlonde on 2023-10-04 01:21:34.

I (45f) am the daughter of a wonderful parent, who, unfortunately, is facing the final chapter. My parent needs full time care, as they suffer from Alzheimer’s. My aunt recently came to visit her sibling, and had an attitude the entire time she was here. When I finally pressed for an answer to “what’s wrong are you okay?” She went off on me about how my parent shouldn’t have to live in this place. She told me I am selfish for not having my parent at home with me, and was very critical of the care my parent is getting.

The facility is very highly rated. I vetted several recommended through a social worker before I chose this one. Is it perfect? No. Nothing is. But they are safe, which is the main worry with an Alzheimer’s patient.

Also, my parent is combative. My aunt doesn’t see it, but it is true. My aunt lives across the country and only makes it out here a few times a year.

I have a full time job and two teenagers at home. I cannot care for my parent full time. I just can’t. I feel bad enough about this without her piling on the guilt trip.

I am the sole power of attorney. I told my aunt I can have her banned if she doesn’t keep her opinions to herself, and of course that only made her even madder. She does not get how hard this is. My grandparents died in a car crash and she never had to deal with this horrible disease and these difficult decisions.

So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/headholes-specialist on 2023-10-04 00:20:14.

My brother’s (28M) been living with me (31F) for about 1 year since he became unemployed due to mental disabilities. I’m still a doctor in training, so overworked and underpaid. Still, I don’t ask him to split rent or bills so he can focus on healing, and hopefully get back on his feet.

He spends a substantial amount of time playing video games & chatting online. It’s not really my business, so while I’m disappointed, it’s his choice and life, I can only do so much.

On my off day, I was home doing some cleaning and laundries. He went to see his psychiatrist, so I took this opportunity to clean his room because he gets annoyed when I do it while he games/chat. Sticky half empty soda cups everywhere, clothes on the ground, and bin overstuffed with trash as usual. Anyways.

When I was rolling his socks, and putting them in the storage bin, I saw a bra & pair of panties buried in there. I was shocked & didn’t really know what to think at first sight. Barring what’s obviously disturbing, those were expensive lingerie sets I bought from VS like ~$50, and like I said I’m not exactly making bank.

When he came back, I asked him how my bra & panties are in his storage bin. (I admit,I may have been a little aggressive with language)

He told me he was trying them on, and forgot to put them back. I had an absolute meltdown, and told him he’s now on his own, and to make plans to move out by next year.

He cried, kept reiterating it’s not a big deal, and said I’m an a$$ hat for lacking sympathy and a bigot. Later he told me he struggles with his sexuality (never spoke to me about this btw), and said I’m making him feel bad about him being himself (or herself).

Idk how I feel. Maybe I need a week or two, but I just feel so angry, confused, and disgusted. I look at my wardrobe and I want to throw everything away. He said he didn’t wear anything else, but idk if I can ever trust him.

Edit: We are Taiwanese Americans, and for cultural reasons I’m obligated to take care of him for now, his lifestyle is not the point. I’m not phobic, and I’m not disgusted by his sexuality, but for wearing my undies & bra (one cos I’m his sister and it’s just weird, two he didn’t even ask me)

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Round_Apartment_7717 on 2023-10-03 17:05:02.

Backstory:

My husband and I both work in fields we didn't really picture ourselves in but we realized it is what is it and we need to pay bills etc. His job was in sales and it got toxic quick. They didn't like him and I told him to start looking for a new job because they kept threatening him and I've seen it happen before. He didn't listen and ended up getting put on a PIP plan because he took his first vacation and they didn't like that. I told him to apply for new jobs and he didn't. Lost his job.

He always loved videography/vido editing so while applying for jobs he wants to also try and do that and try to do that fulltime. It's been months and we haven't gotten ANY unemployment and the few clients he has doesn't even make a dent in helping financially its basically nonexistent at this point. I do not want to tell my husband he can't have his dream job but I told him he needs to find a part time job at least in the meantime so we can get some guaranteed income because its reallt stressing me out and im tired of having zero dollars in my bank account. Our debt is rising from credit cards and we can't pay them off.

I don't eat as well as I used to with groceries and that's frustrsting too to eat twice a day sometimes once.

I keep telling him to put his work on tiktok because it's amazing and all it takes it one video and he cam be his own boss. He hasn't done anything for his own channel in months. He still hasn't even gotten a part time job and I'm at my wits end.

The holidays are coming up and I can't even afford to give our family any gifts let alone ourselves. I am working my butt off at a job i dont even love to try and get a promotion and raise. I'm even considering getting a part time job because I can't keep doing this anymore.

I keep telling him when you want something you do it but I am just not seeing the same level of want i expected. He says if he goes back to sales then he can't edit because he won't have time. I understand its time consuming but i just feel like at this point he always has an excuse to not do something. Can't work uber because it doesn't pay enough, don't wanna go part time retail because I might as well go back to fulltime, can't do fulltime because then I can't do what I love.

Like the heck??? If we got unemployment i would feel better but we haven't gotten any. At what point do I say enough is enough? Like why is it so hard to get a part time job if you really want this dream of yours? Why doesn't he care? I understand business' don't happen overnight but a PART TIME JOB WON'T STOP YOU. I am tired so tired. I feel like a parent/manager not a wife.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Early-Retirement-22 on 2023-10-03 22:31:07.

A few weeks ago, I made a post about refusing to help pay for my SIL's daughter's wedding. My entire family backed me and my brother apologized. But SIL is still pretty pissed. She offered me a chance to make up for it.

Her brother was arrested for dealing crystal meth and weapons possession. She calls him my brother in law, but he is not related to me as far as I can tell. She wants me to fly across the country, post his $20,000 bail and being him back to his home.

Do I have time to do this, yes. Can I afford to do this, yes. Am I going to do this, no. As far as I can tell, he is a criminal and belongs in jail. She says I am an AH because I won't help "family" and won't make up for not paying for the wedding. I say there is nothing to make up for and that I would be willing to call his public defender and try to get him a plea deal with a drug treatment plan. AITA for refusing to help him?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/AdRelative130 on 2023-10-03 22:21:51.

Throw away account. The title is pretty clear. I don't think I'm in the wrong, but I could use a second opinion because I'm getting really annoyed with the drama.

Basic context, I (18f) just got into a really good college. I'm there right now, sitting on my dorm room bed typing this. I have a cousin (18m) that also wanted to attend this particular school. He'd been talking about it since we were in middle school. He was absolutely positive he would get in, but didn't.

Supposedly, my cousin had a full on freak out when he got rejected, but I wasn't there for that. He got his email a few days before I got mine. My parents were overjoyed that I'd gotten in, and with a big scholarship, but as soon as my uncle, aunt, and cousin heard, they jumped on me immediately. Calls, texts, showing up to my parents house uninvited, trying to convince me to give my spot to my cousin. He was livid that I was accepted but he wasn't. I told him it was probably because I had a bunch of extra curriculars and he didn't because he thought they were a "waste of valuable study time". He said I didn't work as hard as him or get as good of grades as him and didn't deserve to go to this college but he couldn't. I told him tough shit, that's life, and he screamed that I'd probably just drop out anyways because I won't be able to handle it like he would. It got to the point that I just left my phone off and exclusively used my laptop for about a week because they wouldn't stop bugging me. Once they figured out they wouldn't get me to give my cousin my acceptance (because I literally can't, that's not how acceptance works) they started trying to convince me to go to a different school. Since apparently this one "can't actually be all that good if they couldn't even recognize a talented and smart person like my cousin". And that I'd probably be much happier at some other school.

This went on until the day I left for school three weeks ago. The day I left my cousin actually came to my parents house just before I left and told me flat out that if I really went through with this we weren't family anymore because he "doesn't want to be related to someone that would be so willing to steal his dreams" (actual quote). I told him okay and got in my car. Now I'm all set up in my dorm, my roommate is fun as heck, classes are going well, and I'm really happy. My cousin still keeps posting angsty junk on his Instagram about dreams being false and hard work being BS that doesn't get you anywhere. It's annoying.

So what do you guys think? Should I have gone to a different school? AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Unusual_Parsnip_6601 on 2023-10-03 20:42:16.

I’m not kidding:

On Friday, I was shopping at this Ranch99 store and it has like restaurants in it. I've been having some stomachaches but not sure why, thought maybe it was my period soon. It's an asian shop and it was also autumn moon festival so it was crowded. Suddenly, I HAD to go. I left everything in a cart in the isle and ran for the bathroom. There was a decent sized line but I just ran forward and cut in front of everyone. There was an elderly woman who was about to make her way to the handicapped stall but I rushed forward, blurted out "I'm sorry, I really need to go". She tried to protest (along with other people in line), but I disregarded them and ran in and locked the door.

It was followed by explosive diarrhea that was very audible to everyone. The grandma and all the other guests were hurling insults at me for being disrespectful and saying I was horrible for cutting in line but honestly it felt like an emergency.

Was I an AH for cutting all the people in line to the bathroom and essentially stealing the stall from the grandma?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/EmmaGhost181 on 2023-10-03 20:27:49.

I (F19) am currently a college student. I am autistic and have ADHD along with dysgraphia, a handwriting disability. I have accommodations through the college that I attend including having a scribe and being allowed to take tests in a quiet designated area of my school. I have to put in a request to reserve the room five days ahead.

My history teacher (M66?) is not very organized. I have asked him three times now so that I may properly reserve the room and each time he has refused or ignored my request. I took the first test without using accommodations and got a lower score than I would've liked due to the lack of accommodations. I'm getting good grades in all classes but his and it's frustrating that he won't listen to me.

WIBTA for reporting this teacher to the school or at least requesting that he give me my proper accommodations?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/carolinareaper43 on 2023-10-03 21:25:09.

I'm a college student and my first class on Tuesday/Thursday begins at 10:30. We don't have assigned seating in this class but for the most part people gravitate to the same seats.

The guy who sits next to me has a habit of eating sandwiches during class. I won't lie that it bothers me but because our entire class is full I don't have the option of moving seats this late into the semester. He usually eats it within ten minutes though so it's not that big of a problem.

Today in class he pulled out his usual sandwich and I started to cough. I could faintly smell peanut butter so I asked him if that's what he was eating. He said he was and I excused myself quickly otherwise I would go into anaphylaxis. I texted a friend inside to grab my things so I wouldn't have to go back in and left class for the day. I emailed my professor letting her know that I needed access to the slides because I had to leave early due to the peanut butter sandwich.

My professor sent out a Canvas announcement that food was no longer allowed during class due to an incident (everyone saw me cough and then leave) and now I've gotten texts saying it wasn't fair that my health caused a ban on everything. I emailed my professor letting her know and she said she was going to keep the ban because she didn't like the snacking in class anyways. I feel really bad because I didn't expect it to escalate like this and I am contemplating staying home from class for the week because everyone knows it's my fault. Am I the Asshole?

Edit: I've been getting a lot of comments that I wasn't going to go into anaphylaxis. My doctor advised me to stay away from it altogether because of the severity of the allergy. I didn't want to take any chances which is why I left. I usually do get nauseous with the smell of nuts (not sure if that is allergy related) but I will get in touch with my professor and see if I can just move seats instead.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Round-Tumbleweed2582 on 2023-10-03 21:09:00.

I (36F) am a white girl married into a Japanese family. My husband's family has never really accepted me because I am white but they're not that bad most of the time. Usually, they are just cold but my SIL is very hostile especially when it comes to food. I don't like Sushi and my SIL always tried to get me to eat it and has yelled at me for things like using too much soy sauce, eating my dumpling whole and not dipping it in sauce first, mixing wasabi with my soy sauce, drinking sake with rice, etc.

Recently we went out for dinner with them for my birthday. I am okay with chopsticks but I still struggle with them sometimes, I was trying to pick up a piece of meat and I just used one of the chopsticks to stab the meat and eat it. SIL immediately started yelling at me saying I was disrespectful.I told her I would eat my food however I liked and to please mind her own business. She always does this and I have had enough, people can eat however they like. I am sick of her picking at my food habits.

She said I was being disrespectful to her culture, I told her how I chose to eat food is my choice and to mind her own business. Things got ugly and I left. My husband stayed with them.I have been married to him for 5 years and dating for 7, I have learned his language and speak Japanese with his family. His family has had none of that same respect for me, to this day none of his family has ever tried Egyptian food or tried to learn the language, I have been expected to learn it even though they speak perfect English. We live in Europe yet I am always expected to conform to his culture. AITA?

Edit: Every time I ask for a fork his family gets very offended so I can't ask for one. 99% of the time I do okay with chopsticks, this piece was just tiny and slippery. I used the bottom chopstick to just poke it a little for extra grip then used the other one.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/EmbarrassedJello1042 on 2023-10-03 18:09:55.

My (22f) boyfriend (26m) has been living in his apartment for a little over a year now. He has no curtains but lots of windows, and I have a really hard time sleeping when the sun is shining right through the windows. I tried wearing an eye mask but I can't stand the feeling of something on my face when I'm trying to fall asleep. Every few months I say something along the lines of "do you think you could please get blackout curtains soon? Sleep is really important to me and I can't sleep with all this light." He's usually dismissive and says I'm acting like a child begging for something from a parent. He always uses the excuse that his parents will be going to IKEA when they visit his sister in college every few months, yet they're always out of stock of these damn curtains. I've told him he can literally get them online with free shipping yet he always puts it off. I reminded him again this morning after not mentioning it for months, and he said "Ok, I'll look this week. I might not buy them though." I just don't understand why he's so stubborn? Is my request really that insane?? I'm getting to the point where I'm not that nice about it when I bring it up because it has been so long and he's dragging his feet for no good reason. We don't live together and I only sleep at his place for 1 or 2 nights a week, so I'm wondering if this is contributing to his stubbornness. Still, I'm not sure why a person wouldn't want curtains. I should also add that I've offered several times to buy them myself and he has a very negative reaction, saying "No I'm not letting you do that. I'll get them sometime". If he'd said yes, I would've bought them instantly and we could've been done with this year long disagreement.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/whendoesitgetbetter5 on 2023-10-03 17:30:39.

My husband and I have been together for 10years (both 33) and we have two kids, 3&5. When my husband met me, I had 2 dogs who were my LIFE. In fact, dogs have pretty much always been my life and the first thing I did when I moved out of my parents house was get the dogs I had always dreamed of. My husband said one of the things that attracted him to me was my dogs.

I’ve worked in animal care for 15 years, most of that working with dogs. When my husband proposed, he even included in his proposal that he promised to love all the dogs and animals I could ever want because that’s WHO I AM. I also had reptiles and bunnies when he met me. At our wedding, every speech included comments about my love for animals, and especially my dogs.

Recently we lost my heart dog due to old age and my heart feels empty. We still have my female dog who is 12 but declining and she is not really a family dog. She likes to be alone. The kids and I feel ready to bring another companion into our lives, but my husband is saying he wants to wait possibly a few YEARS to get another dog. I don’t think I can do that! Having a dog companion is part of who I am, part of who I’ve always been. I feel that 6months after the passing of our boy should be sufficient.

Since we’ve been married, he has been against any animal I’ve wanted to bring into our home. It was a massive fight to get a bunny after I lost my last one, and equally as much of a fight to add a couple chickens to our back yard. I feel like he said those words to me back then and didn’t mean it, and I can’t control my need to live a life with lots of animals around me. He has not been understanding towards our dogs geriatric issues and needs as he never had a dog survive to old age in his home growing up. When I ask him why he doesn’t want another dog he just says he “just doesn’t and thinks we should take an extended break from dogs”.

So, WIBTA if I bring home a dog despite his wishes not to get another one?

** edit to clear up a couple things: We had five small chickens but after a fox attack only have 1, and it’s leaving in a few weeks to live at my friends actual farm. All we currently have for animals other than that one chicken is our one senior dog, and one house bunny who is clean, litter trained and behaves like a cat. Our senior dog is in no way being pushed aside. She is an odd ball who has always required special management and in no way would her life change with a new addition. She has an entire floor our house just for her to relax and escape the chaos of our home. She’s taken for a 3 mile run every day which tires her out and then she relaxes on the couch in the home office with my husband and hardly moves or makes a sound after that. She’s very comfortable and happy.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Itchy_Mechanic5682 on 2023-10-03 16:16:35.

My youngest graduated highshool and took a few months off before apply for colleges. She didn’t know what she wanted to do and now she does. So she applied to a few colleges including the one that my oldest daughter goes to.

She got in and she is scheduled to start in the spring semester. All good, and they offered her a really good scholarship so it makes sense she will go there. Now my youngest called her sister an told her the good news.

She is pissed that she is would go to her college. Huge argument with the two amd the phone got passed to me. I tried to get her to calm down. I came down with her sister is going to that college and you are being leery for no reason. It’s a fact and you d not own a college.

She called me a jerk and sent a really nasty text to the both of us.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/DragonTeen21 on 2023-10-03 17:52:19.

my brother 34M asked me 19m to watch his son 4mo for a day and I agreed both of us knowing I’d have to skip class for this. For context I’m currently going to trade school and the way class works at my school is that every class is 3 weeks and you only have one class at a time you get 2 absences per course and on the 3rd absence you instantly fail and in order to graduate you have to pass all the courses which means retaking any courses you pay which means you have to pay to retake the course which costs $1,600. The issue emerges when my brother didn’t come to pick up my nephew that night so I called my brother and his wife multiple times but neither answered so I gave up and set up the living room so that I could sleep near my nephew and I would try again in the morning but next day came and same thing I called and called but no response again so I had to skip class again and once again bight comes and I spend the night watching my nephew now we’re on the third day and I’m pissed because if I miss this day I’ll have to retake the class at this point I’m blowing up his phone and suddenly my calls and texts stop going through so I start panicking and I resort to having to strap my nephew in his car seat and driving over to my brothers mother in law’s house and beg her to watch him for a couple hours so I can go to class to which she agrees and I go to class. Where I may be the asshole is my brothers mother in law is on the tail end of recovering from surgery she’s able to move around now but still can’t do any heavy lifting which when I asked her I apologized profusely for having to resort to asking her when my brother found out from her that I had left my nephew with his mother in law he blew up my phone calling me angry because I left a baby with an elderly woman still recovering from surgery and I bite back that I had only agreed to watch my nephew because he said it would just be for around 13 hours and I wouldn’t have had to resort to that if he hadn’t blocked me and I know that if I had skipped class again he wouldn’t be willing to even help me pay for the course retake and I can’t afford $1600 on my minimum wage pay to which he just hung up and blocked me again and now he’s complaining that our parents and sister are taking my side and for those wondering what happened that he had to extend how long I had to watch my nephew, he and his wife decided to turn their date into a road trip to Disney world 4 states away, so reddit here I am asking y’all aita

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/thowrathiw on 2023-10-03 17:46:16.

Background info- My husband loves cooking. He goes all out for dinners and even his lazy meals can seem extravagant at times so our children have a mature palette. He especially loves when we has guest that when he goes all out for sure, he plans his meal in advance and get extremely excited.

My husband and I had a dinner with our friends and our kids. My husband made us arabic salad & garlic bread on the side with mashed potatoes and braised duck served with a sauce. When everyone came we had 3 parents and 7 children. My husband I served everyone food and everyone was complimenting it but my husband noticed one of my friend let call her Melissa child (6) not eating so he asked him if he didn’t like the food and he nodded his head no and Melissa chimed in and sayed he doesn’t have a mature palette and my husband said sorry, we have more mashed potatoes maybe he can eat it without the sauce Melissa said he doesn’t eat mash. My husband said that fine I can microwave or make him something quick. Melissa said Thankyou and told him frozen chicken nuggets would be good my husband said ooh we don’t eat frozen food but how about cereal , pp&j/ grilled cheese or leftover spaghetti bolognese and she said cereal.

Next thing that happened my husband served the ice cream and carrot cake. Mellisa other son(8) said this ice cream was soo good. My daughter (4) said me and my daddy made it we don’t eat the store brought crap. (This is my fault 🤦‍♀️ I was mocking my husband earlier asking him what he was making and he said ice cream and I said in a sacarastic way that we are to good for store brought crap huh. It was a force of habit, me and my husband thought that if we don’t point out we used a bad word our daughter would not notice and obviously we were wrong but am a 100% sure she didn’t say it with any bad intentions. ) and everyone laughed.

Now yesterday I received a call from Melissa saying she felt like me and my husband were looking down on her and mommy shaming her because we said we don’t eat frozen food. I was just about to apologize because I never want to make someone feel mommy shamed until this women said she feels sorry for my daughter because she can already see my snobbishness and self centeredness spreading to her because of that comment my daughter made about crap ice cream. And that where I draw a line. I told her to not mention my daughter name when wanting to address me and she shouldn’t worry about feeling inferior because she will never be invited to my home again.

Our friend decided to get involve and they keep saying that I should apologize because they don’t want to be left in the middle it and they feel like I was wrong because I should have known the food was too mature for a kids palette. I honestly Don’t care. I have friends outside of this friend group and honestly don’t mind cutting them off. I know this might be exaggerated reaction but am very sensitive about my daughter. and want to know if am overreacting.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/crownpoly on 2023-10-03 16:16:42.

It’s been around 7 months since my father has passed away and I’m helping my mother around the house. She can’t keep up with the house herself- 4 bedroom house on 9 acres of land, so she is actively selling it.

My friends (younger couple) are the potential buyers. She signed the contract in May of this year. They originally gave her until July to find a place. But it keeps getting extended. Long story short is my friends are being very very nice. My mother already found another place.

The problem is is that she is the world’s biggest worry wort. She keeps asking for extension from buyers and bugging me about literal nonsense. For example, she told me the basement was ‘flooded’ and I needed to check it out ASAP. When I got there, there was maybe a 2 inch spot along the wall that was moisture. I fixed it.

Next she said the water had too much rust in it, so I had my plumber come out and replace the water heater and install a new water softener. Since then, she has called him 6 times about it. He basically told me that everything is fine- it is, and that he wasn’t going to be taking any more calls from her. She is stilled worried about water for some reason.

Literally the littlest thing will send her over the edge.

Here’s the kicker, the house has all inspections done. They all passed. It’s literally ready to go. However, she sees one thing wrong and calls me and freaks out about it claiming that “she doesn’t want to be sued”

I sympathize with her but my friends are getting angry and I don’t blame them. I am an only son, so I do pretty much everything myself. Anytime something significant happens, I’m usually her first call.

Couple that with 4 hours of mowing every week, on top of yard work and house work and I’m starting to get annoyed real fast. I feel like I spend more time at her house rather than my own- and I just bought a house a year ago and actually have a bunch of shit to get done.

So yeah, today after telling me the gutters were clogged- they have a leaf guard she told me that she was going to ask for another extension. I told her politely that I was going to stop helping her out.

We’ve had these talks before but she just can’t overcome her irrationality. She’s spoken to friends, family, her psychiatrist, her financial advisor, all trying to tell her that she’s in a good spot, but she just doesn’t believe it.

P.S. she is very financially stable.

P.S.S. She hates the house and has for a long time

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/rushofgold on 2023-10-03 19:31:05.

I’m on vacation with my immediate family. I’m F/30 and my two brothers are in their late 30s. They’re both married and they each have kids (5 kids total ranging in age from 3-9 years old). My parents are also on the trip, and I am accompanied by my boyfriend of 2 years.

We’re here for a week and it’s been really fun so far. We have a mix of days where we have activities planned and then a few free days. My family has had a text thread going for months with all of the trip planning, so we knew which days were activity vs free days.

My boyfriend and I planned a romantic dinner for one of the free nights at a really nice restaurant on the island. We made a reservation months ago because it books up.

I was getting ready to go out and one of my sister in laws made a comment about me dressing up to stay in. I was confused and asked her to clarify.

She said that she, my brother, and my other married brother and his wife, were doing a couples spa evening experience that they booked a few days earlier and they needed me and my BF to watch all of their kids. She said my brother was supposed to have asked me earlier that day. He forgot to.

When I explained that my boyfriend and I already had plans, she was super unsympathetic. She said they already prepaid for the spa experience and since we hadn’t paid for the dinner yet, it wouldn’t make sense for them to have to cancel their plans.

I never agreed to watch their kids. I love my nieces and nephews, but my family knows I am childfree and have been for years. It’s been a point of contention for a long time. I wouldn’t mind watching them if I had been given advanced notice, but to have them slapped on me when I had plans with my BF made me really upset.

My sister in law said I didn’t understand how much she needed the time away from her kids because I don’t have kids of my own. She said I was being selfish and I could handle one night of “being a mom”.

It’s not the point. I would’ve agreed if she had asked me months ago before my BF and I made dinner plans. I checked and we wouldn’t be able to get another reservation before we leave.

My parents walked in on us arguing, and eventually they offered to watch the kids. They were supposed to go to a free concert on the beach together but decided to cancel so someone could stay with the kids. I felt really bad but my mom insisted.

Now it’s the next day and my sister in law won’t even look at me. I’m pissed at her too but we’re stuck here for a week so I don’t know what to do. My mom thinks I should apologize but I feel I’m the one owed the apology here.

AITA?

EDIT: forgot add - we are not staying in a resort/hotel that would have babysitting services, we’re staying in a family friend’s vacation house/rental property

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Comfortable_Maximum1 on 2023-10-03 19:16:54.

Settle an argument: I (29M) and my wife (29F) are in the middle of a cross-country move. As such, we are stopping at lots of gas stations for fuel and food/drink. Today, we stopped at a combo gas station-McDonald’s. While my wife was filling up the car, I went to go use the bathroom and grab a snack. I asked her “do you want anything?” To which she responded “no”. I ended up buying a sausage egg McMuffin from the McDonald, because why not? As we left the station and she saw my McMuffin, she angrily declared that I should have specifically asked if she wanted anything from McDonald’s. I believe that when I posed the initial question that the entire facility of food and beverages were included in that ask, but she believes I should have specified. she is now angry and this car ride sucks. AITA?

UPDATE: we are having a great time reading these replies. Thanks for entertaining us on the road :)

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Time_Physics_6557 on 2023-10-03 18:13:33.

My company likes to give employees goodies every year and this year I received a new iPad Pro with the Apple pencil and fancy keyboard thing. They already gave me an iPad two years ago that I'm fine with using so I was planning on giving the new one to one of my kids. My daughter (18f) came home this weekend and asked if she could have it for digital art and more efficient note taking. She also wanted it for iMessage and Facetime since she prefers Android/Windows for her other devices. My son (13m) also asked for the iPad and I was torn on who should get it.

I ultimately decided to give it to my son because I bought my daughter a very powerful laptop last year for her studies and my son is using her old one. I figured that the iPad can also double up as a better laptop for my son and he wouldn't need a new laptop until much later if I gave it to him. I told my daughter that I was giving it to him and she was a little bit upset. My wife also agrees that I should've given it to her because it would have been better utilized that way and that my son doesn't need a powerful machine. I feel a little bit bad but I also do not want to take it away from my son now. AITA?