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this post was submitted on 16 Aug 2023
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Linus Tech Tips
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As a side note, I'm in the tech world for a career. Predominantly male. Perhaps predominately white, though I can't speak to those statistics - the environment is more diverse every day. That said, I met a friend back in 2015. She's smart, eloquent, and overall extremely talented. I've seen her get passed over for promotions; I've seen clients engage her unfairly, by making statements like, "are you getting the engineer?" Because they were expecting a man. Anyway, a lot of us in our inner circle suspected her boyfriend of physically harming her. For years. But there was never any concrete evidence. After 8 or 9 years of friendship for me, perhaps 12 or 13 for others in our circle, she cut off all contact with us. She sent a message saying, "I can't talk to any of you, it's not right. You are all married and I'm engaged." She never spoke to us again. This was about 6 months ago.
Said circle, also, is not all male. 3 males, 2 or 3 female, plus spouses. One trans man and his wife. Pretty diverse in all aspects.
So anyway, 2 months ago she up and quits her job. Straight up leaves. No exit interview, no reason, nothing.
I am about 99.99% sure that she's in some kind of mentally abusive relationship. Her boyfriend had control over her when she was at work with us. We gave her opportunities to tell us. She chose her path.
It saddens me often when I think about it. But it doesn't affect my opinion on this LTT story....