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What to use instead of gmail?
(lemm.ee)
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That's a little confused. From what I remember, it's the server that matters, not the domain when being blocked. If you self-host this is a problem, but not if you use your own domain on a commercial service.
The "MX records and such" are all a function of domain management. You'll have to do this whether or not you self-host.
Some TLDs that are well known for spam get blocked. If you stick with a .com, you will usually be fine if you are using a decent mail server.
I mean at least initially with things like nightmare host (im making a joke im not sure if dreamhost is still around) you did not need to mess with the mx records if you just went with their built in. We definately had some issues with email getting marked spam or blocked but admitadely that could have been from the services source servers having to much spam coming from it.