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DOGE Plans to Rebuild SSA Codebase in Months
(www.wired.com)
Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
COBOL systems, when properly maintained, are highly reliable, with built-in redundancy and fault tolerance.
They can't have that because they want excuses when it goes down and leaves old people to starve and ruin their credit.