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How I discovered my partner was an undercover police officer sent to spy on me
(www.independent.co.uk)
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this post was submitted on 24 May 2025
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As horrible this is (as owl said) how do you figure out it is rape?
Edit: fucking sorry for asking a question, that's too much for you it seems. "Everything is rape" isn't the answer ffs.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_by_deception
False name, false life story, false reason for having sex with her. He had sex with her in order to spy on her.
Soon: it was rape because I thought he was nice.
If everything is rape, then nothing is. Rape is about non-consent, not about deception. Or so I think.
consent doesn’t just mean “yes”… consent means informed consent… consent means non-coerced consent
my state in australia has recently implemented some fantastic new laws around consent, and have done a really good job of defining some very grey areas
https://www.respectvictoria.vic.gov.au/news/affirmative-consent
specifically the section about when someone can not consent is relevant here. it covers things like coercion, feeling like you can’t withdraw consent, abuse of authority (ie covers workplace sexual harassment), age, asleep/unconscious (regardless of previous consent), AND most importantly:
and in case you think that’s too restrictive, the laws have widely been praised by the BDSM and kink communities - places where non-verbal consent is common… they cover a lot of ways people might consent, and also withdraw consent
the issue with identity is that she would not have consented if she knew all the details - facts which the man kept from her, knowing that if she knew she would likely not consent
and that’s key: to consent, you have to have all the information available at the time