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So where are we all supposed to go now?
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I guess I disagree with your assertion as to what is the 'purpose' of the fediverse. To me choosing associations is the point, so admins disconnecting from abusive instances fits well within that belief. If the fediverse meant accepting all input from all instances without question, I'd leave here as quickly as I did voat.
I don't mind creating a couple accounts on different instances as need be. Though I'm also the kind of person who had a handful of reddit accounts for various purposes, so I understand my perspective isn't likely the norm.
I agree though that based on your requirements, spinning up your instance might be the best bet.