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Satanic Math
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this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2025
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D&D players aren't satanists. They're much worse. They're math addicts.
A friend calls it "narrative gambling", because eventually we're all throwing dice and hoping it doesn't "ruin" us.
You don't even need the dice! I was definitely gambling last session when I attuned to a prosthetic eye filled with the trapped souls of everyone that's ever used it. It gives me 60 feet of Truesight though!
60 feet of truesight, unfortunately you can't see shit because of all the souls in the way
I mean, it's not entirely wrong, but saying anything involving dice and risk is gambling, thus meaning it contains the same addictive and problematic features that gambling does, is incredibly simplistic and superficial.
It's like saying carrots and coke is the same thing because both contain sugar.
How dare you!
<I use an attack of opportunity and I throw my carrot-and-coke cocktail to Squaresinger's face>
At least not coke and buthane. That would have been worse.
Not since the accident..
Speaking as a Satanist studying computational fluid dynamics...
Need a DM?
I would love this so much.
I've never played any non-PC RPG though.
Think you could vibe with my favorite Swedish Doom Metal album of an RPG, Mörk Borg? I've also played Cy_Borg, though haven't tried Pirate Borg yet. Pretty rules-light, very much focused on the bleak vibes of a tired world on the brink of Armageddon. Can do DM+1 player with a little tweaking, but anyone reading this is invited to DM me.
I could set up a matrix room and do a session zero to walk through the rules if you'd like!
Exactly why I dislike D&D, it's more about combat and math. I prefer systems that are less math heavy and more narrative/roleplay focused.
You should check out GURPS. Its a simpler system with universal campaigns (modern, fantasy, mech, dimension hopping, steampunk). The system is super easy. You start with 100 points to make your character. You can spend them on stats, skills, spells, and perks. You can even gain more points by taking quirks.
You roll 3d6 for everything. Your goal is to get under your skill number. Fireball of 13 needs to roll under 13. If its raining or something, your GM can choose to put a -4 on that. So now you need to roll under 9. Just simple addition and subtraction, but it works really well.
Ooo, that sounds awesome! Thank you for sharing!
also worth noting that fallout originally used GURPS before switching for copyright reasons
Oh wow, it sounds so much simpler and easier. Thanks for expanding on the other person's point!
Oh, thanks! We really appreciate that!
That's great! 🙂
I bought the Fate Accelerated Edition because it sounded fun but I've literally not found any published adventures. I've found campaign settings, yeah, but nothing explaining what an easy encounter should look like, how to structure an adventure, nothing.
Fate seems fun so I'm ready to be proved wrong.
Sorry that this is off-topic... but your avatar hit me in the feels. I can't explain fully. When I first became aware as a kid in school, like... first conscious memorized thoughts, I was staring at the Netscape Navigator loading animation. Now every time I see it there's this feeling. Like super nostalgic serotonin and dopamine running through my veins.
Such a small thing, but I almost cry every time I see it.
That's because you need to wake up, eye dust! You need to break out of the simulation! It's still 1999 in here!
Just kidding lol. But thank you for sharing. I know the feeling you're talking about, just like a tidal wave of nostalgia that is utterly devastating. I can't think of anything off the top of my head that gives me that feeling, but I've felt it.
Lol! Well, you're probably not wrong.
Yeah, its just a blast of feelings, hard to describe. Shooting stars can usually do it to me. Whether they're in a game or in real life.
I used to sit in old WoW waaaay back in the day and watch the shooting stars in Arathi Highlands. That and Winterspring were my favorite areas.
Holy shit. This first bit sounds like a bureaucracy simulator.
Probably the only game to be made better by chatgpt
Thanks for this. Its been quite a while since I've played, so I was going off of fuzzy memory. I do still have all the books, but haven't opened them in a long time.
That's exactly it. You choose what you want your character to do and be within the GM's world type. Then you have one or two sessions really setting everything up for world, characters, story, progression, etc. After that you're done with the hard part. Heck, even the GM is done with it. They may need to reference material occasionally, but the game almost plays itself.
It's much, much more casual and focuses more on story and narrative. Its like if Choose Your Own Adventure was a game, the rolls only being there to add flavor and excitement to your adventures.
I understand what you are saying and I can see why that could be interesting to some.
I myself prefer to go the exact opposite route. I like Mini6 a lot. It's 2 pages of actual rules and a few more with example scenarios, spells, items, skills and enemies. The whole thing is like 30 pages IIRC.
And even better: Dread. You can explain the rules in 2 minutes.