I would call that a collapse of communication, but I understand what you mean. I agree that stopping to work on oneself and/or disassociating from your partner in a relationship is a huge betrayal and all around shitty behavior. Thanks for clarifying. I'm totally with you on that.

BTW I once woke someone up to their behavior during a screaming match where I shouted "Why are you like this, we a supposed to be on the same side! Both of us against the problem, not whatever you're doing." Well at least I think these were my words, there might have been a lot more swear words ... But that was successful only one time, so ....