having to wait for javascript to load, decompress, parse, JIT, transmogrify, rejimble and perform two rinse cycles

This is whole sentence is facetious nonsense. Just-in-time compilation is not in websites, it's in browsers, and it was a massive performance gain for the web. Sending files gzipped over the wire has been going on forever and the decompressing on receival is nothing compared to the gains on load time. I'm going to ignore the made up words. If you don't know you don't know. Please don't confidently make shit up.

EDIT: I'm with about the nags though. Fuck them nags.