I recently made a new account on lemmy.blahaj.zone, because I’ve been harassed and doxxed on my old account and I wanted a fresh start with a more lighthearted online identity that I could be more open about my gender identity on. I’d heard blahaj zone was good for trans people, so I made my account there. And yeah, autism@lemmy.world removed my post discussing neuronormativism from a queer perspective, but I hoped maybe “the trans instance” would be friendlier to trans people.
A couple days after making my account, I saw someone on Blahaj engaging in the tired old cliche of “I hate politics, there’s no politics on my social media and I want to keep it that way!” Well we’ve all heard the joke that the two races are white and political, the two genders are male and political, and the two sexualities are straight and political. Hatred of politics is a transphobic, sexist, and racist trope. And having sufferred harassment and abuse from people inside the queer community who “hated politics” and saw trans or nonbinary or xenogender identities as political, I knew this kind of speech was going to make bigots feel comfortable saying they also hate politics, and they think us trans people are it.
So, I responded to the transphobia. I started out by attempting to educate them on what politics actually means. But I was interrupted by the Blahaj admin Ada, who told me that politics is “anything I disagree with”, and that indeed politics isn’t welcome on Blahaj. This language was deeply triggering of my past issues dealing with abuse, and I knew from past experience this sort of thing is said by people who are getting ready to say some enbyphobic or racist hate speech. It is especially common for white queer people to talk this way to BIPOC queer people. I tried to reason with Ada, explained the history of the cliche, the trauma it’s caused many trans people, and the consequences this kind of speech will have on the community here, making us all less safe.
Ada wasn’t having it. She minimised my concerns by reducing them to my personal trauma while ignoring my wider concerns for others’ safety, and weaponised my PTSD to paint my opinions as invalid because I am mentally ill. She said she owns Blahaj, and she gets to do whatever she wants with it, and nobody is allowed to express a differing opinion, even one that protects trans people, because that’s politics. At the time I thought her concern was me speaking directly to transphobes and making them feel uncomfortable by calling out their actions, so I said I’d just report it instead, and she banned my account.
This behaviour protects transphobes, WILL lead to trans and BIPOC people being harassed on this instance, attacks and gaslights victims of trauma (my concerns can’t be valid because I have a mental illness), and forces out any trans person with a commitment to safety for the community.
The thread where all this happened: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/comment/2143969
yeah having read the thread, i'm inclined to agree you come across as someone trying to pick a fight, when you have a semantic disagreement with them at most
i understand that you found what they wrote triggering and harmful, but i don't think you were very kind with your posts. i feel like, in your haste to protect trans people, you were not considerate of the human being you were actually speaking to
i know you're not a member of beehaw, but you're posting it to our instance, so that's the standard i'm applying
if you had empathized with them (her?) that they sometimes need a space where they can just be a person, instead of being trans (or a woman or however abigail identifies), they (she?) might have been more receptive to your point
it also would have helped if you had been direct to the point - for example: "hey, would you mind saying "i don't like debates around my fundamental rights to exist" (or whatever alternative) as opposed to saying "i don't like politics"? this way you still allow space for discussion of important matters related to human rights, while clearly communicating what it is you dislike" (this is my best understanding of your point, but hopefully you can see how to tailor it to better represent what you truly want to express)
as it is, you spent like five posts nitpicking semantics when you knew what was intended and could have just directly stated what you disagreed with
and if you didn't know, well... i guess this is a reminder that words don't mean the same thing to everyone, and your definitions aren't necessarily more valid than someone else's
ultimately, you were argumentative with someone who was absolutely not advocating for transphobia, and policing someone's language without even making the barest effort to engage with what they were actually saying. in both the original poster's position, and in the admin's position, i completely get why they reacted how they did
i don't personally agree with your point, but i hope these recommendations help you more clearly communicate it, and foster healthier interactions about it, in the future