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Dimensional lumber tape measure
(slrpnk.net)
I hope it’s not against the rules here, just saw this woodworking related xkcd that I enjoyed and thought it might be appreciated here:)
Except that all of the board length measurements will not work out.
A nightmare if you're following written measurements or working with other people, but as long as you use the same tape to measure how much you need and how much you have/are cutting, it should work out alright.
Unless you're building anything with speced sizes . Oops I framed the walls too short.
That would be the following written measurements I mentioned.