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Dimensional lumber tape measure
(slrpnk.net)
I hope it’s not against the rules here, just saw this woodworking related xkcd that I enjoyed and thought it might be appreciated here:)
In Kentucky it's a "tuba-fur"
In the Carolinas it's a tew-bah-fower. It's made of yella pahn, bout ate feet lawng, they got a whole mess of em down at the Lowe's, most of em are sigogglin these days.