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How do middle aged family men handle it?
(lemmy.today)
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this post was submitted on 11 Nov 2025
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I'm in my 40s. I don't have any kids, but am married nearly 20 years, home and property owner, bills, the household handyman "fixer," managing health conditions, etc.
Find work you enjoy. I know that's easier said than done, but you spend much of your waking hours at work, and it bleeds into everything. Find a way to make it suck less. A bad job will suck the life out of you.
Find hobbies you enjoy. Preferably more than one, you can burn out on things you enjoy as much as you can with work.
Cut off negative people. Social connections are important, but be wary of social vampires, people who leave you exhausted and stressed. Cut them off, even if they're your own family. If that's not possible, keep as low contact as possible, put them on an information diet, and gray rock them.
Make time to connect with your spouse. Cuddle in bed, talk about your day. Hug. Engage.
Make time for exercise. Don't say there's no time. Don't make excuses. Get it done. It's one of the most important things you'll do for your physical and mental well being, and should improve your energy levels over time.
If at all possible, contribute to causes that matter to you. If you have the funds, maybe donate to your local food bank, homeless shelter, animal shelter, or maybe volunteer if you don't have funds. It can help a lot to feel like your contributing meaningfully to society and your community, and jobs may pay the bills, but don't always provide that sense of meaning and contribution.
Practice gratitude. Spend some time thinking of the things you appreciate and are grateful for, the good things, even just small stuff.
None of this advice is particularly specific, but it's mostly worked for me. Dunno what else I can suggest. You sound stressed and possibly burned out, so take some time to find your stressors that are triggering this feeling of being overwhelmed and "over it" and try to focus on the good and meaningful things.