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[-] purpleworm@hexbear.net 10 points 2 months ago

I am not crazy.

I am just very nervous.

I can hear things better than other people, including far‑away sounds.

Notice how calmly I can tell you this story.

I lived with an old man.

I liked him, but his eye scared me.

His eye looked weird and made me feel bad.

The eye bothered me so much that I decided to kill the old man.

I am smart and careful, so I cannot be crazy.

I planned everything very slowly and quietly.

Bonus:

I think people are lucky we cannot understand everything.

If we knew too much, it would scare us.

[-] JoeByeThen@hexbear.net 5 points 2 months ago

ICP stays winning

ol' Evil Eye

So I'm headed door to door
With my grandmother's cookie jar.
I'm sellin' cookies, 12 for a dollar.
I ring the doorbell, nobody wants any.
I resort to goin' cheaper - 2 for a penny.
Anybody, everybody, they hate me.
I can tell when they spit and degrade me.
There's only one house left, the last on the block.
Old Man Willie on the hilltop.
I ring the doorbell, the door creeps open.
And there it was starin' and scopin'.
The man's left eye, red, big, and drippin'
I was trippin'. "Ahh, seeya!"
I ran home. I couldn't stop thinking
About his eyeball winking and blinking.
And it looked not a damn thing like the other. Ugh!
Shoulda wore a patch on the motherfucker.
It hypnotized me, mesmerized me.
Traumatized, paralyzed, terrorized me.
Creepers, where'd you get that ball?
And tell me how it even fits in your skull.
I want a big long knife to stick it in.
I want to lift up the eyelid and kick it in.
He's gotta die. I want his eye buried in my backyard.
It ain't hard, I'm killin' Old Evil Eye!
[-] HexReplyBot@hexbear.net 1 points 2 months ago

I found a YouTube link in your comment. Here are links to the same video on alternative frontends that protect your privacy:

this post was submitted on 17 Jan 2026
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